Chapter Text
Kate had her hand poised to knock on the door, to enter the room where her sister was. As she stood outside the door, she hesitated, her mind racing with worry and anticipation.
But, the words she hears through the imposing white doors, adorned in gold, freeze her in place. The muffled voices on the other side of the door sent a shiver down her spine. She strained to make out the words, her heart pounding in her chest.
She stays there, listening to one new word being said after another, until their meaning sinks in, until something chokes her throat. The words hit her like a ton of bricks, each one more devastating than the last. She felt a lump form in her throat as the reality of the situation sank in.
She couldn't stay there any longer, Kate turned to leave, to find a place to take refuge, but her legs were shaking, and she staggered, leaning against the wall, trying to take a deep breath.
She stumbled away from the door, her mind reeling. She needed to find a quiet place to collect her thoughts. Trying to find the strength to continue on. She needed to gather herself, to find a way to face what lay ahead.
But, even as she wanders aimlessly through the corridors, the words kept echoing inside her, Edwina’s words, his...
As Mary's silence. A silence that cut deeper than any words could.
Her chest constricts, and she fears that her legs will not support her much longer, everything that she has sought to deny for years, weighs heavily on her shoulders, and she is so suffocated by the devastation of it all.
She struggled to catch her breath, the weight of her emotions threatening to overwhelm her, so much so that she does not even listen:
“Absurd! It’s not enough to interrupt my wedding, on top of that they make me wait this long!” The angry voice cut through the air, filled with frustration and indignation.
“Your Majesty, I could have called them to…” Another voice said.
“And give them more time to deceive me, Brimsley? Absolutely not! I… Oh… Miss Sharma!”
The mention of her name sent a chill down her spine.
Only then does Kate manage to associate what she heard with the speaker, just when Kate had ended bumping onto... The Queen of England herself!
Shit!!!! Her mind raced with worry and fear, she was unsure of what to do next.
Kate feels her eyes widen, as the air catches in her throat, and she fumbles, trying to bow, while stuttering at the same time. “Apologies, Your… Your Majesty.. I did not see… I did not intend….”
The Queen looks at her as if she had lost all sense, seeming not to understand her condition, her eyes fixed on Kate with curiosity.
Fortunately, in front of her mess, the Queen just says, nonchalantly. “Come on now… Miss Sharma, you are crying as if someone has died. I doubt the situation it is for this much.”
Kate felt a surge of bitter laughter rise in her throat, a hollow, joyless sound, devoid of any kind of humor. She had loved so much, she had given her all, she had fought so hard, and it had all been in vain.
She opened her mouth to agree, to disregard herself, as what she feels for the countless time, but as soon as she began to speak, the truthful words flowed out of her, like a river towards the sea.
It was as if Kate was almost out of her own body, and she could do nothing to stop herself from telling The Queen absolutely everything. She felt a surge of emotion rise in her throat, a flood of words and emotions that she couldn't hold back.
The Queen's inscrutable gaze, made Kate’s voice tremble, as she detailed the tumultuous season.
She told how it was like to lose her Amma, what it was like to be just her and her Appa, how Mary came into their lives, how everything changed when Edwina was born, and once again when her Appa left this world. She poured out her heart, her words tumbling out in a rush of pain.
She tells of the responsibilities that fell on her shoulders, about the money that was running out, about the deal with the Sheffields. How Edwina harbored the same concern as them, about her being connected to someone like Kate, and how this made Kate accept the condition of returning to India imposed by them. She spoke of the burdens she had carried, the sacrifices she had made, as her fears.
She tells how she just wanted for Edwina to be happy, that she just wanted for Mary's future to be secured. Of her desire to protect them.
And she tells... about him.
Lord Bridgerton.
Her words poured forth. To tell how they first met, how he had set up a whole scheme to deceive her, how he had invaded the soirée and humiliated her. How Edwina didn't care, just like Mary, just like Lady Danbury, how even with Kate warning them that he didn't intend to marry for love, and still they all ignored her… each word was a dagger to her heart.
She talks about their secret meetings, how even without wanting to, she allowed herself to feel what he would never feel for her. Kate tells how he had dishonored her, how he went and proposed to Edwina right in the next day, right in front of her, how the Duchess did nothing.
How he had minimized everything that had happened, calling them an unthinkable fate, and then, on top of all that, how he had caused Edwina to lose the dowry that Kate had worked so hard to ensure.
How she had no choice but to insist for them to get married in the face of this. Of the fact that Edwina loved him, and that she wanted a life with him. Kate spoke of the pain and despair that had consumed her, the heartache and longing that had filled her, as she made the only choice left for her to do.
Kate doesn't stop herself from saying anything, there in the middle of that empty corridor, she tells every sordid detail, including what Edwina had told her, what Mary had told her, what she had heard of their conversation with Lord Bridgerton.
With each new piece of information, Brimsley seemed more and more uncomfortable, and the Queen...
The expression on her face of consternation became increasingly darker and darker, and the icy fury she emanated made Kate think she had just ruined everything for good.
She fights the urge to fidget with her hands, pressing them to the sides of her body instead, feeling the anxiety lurking at her stomach, threatening to spread through all of her.
Kate struggled to contain her emotions, to hold back the flood of fear and doubt that was drowning her.
The Queen seems lost in thought for a long time, then she stretches out her arm, demanding. “Brimsley, your handkerchief.”
He gives the handkerchief to the Queen, and then she said, her voice was firm and commanding, a clear indication that she was in control of the situation. “Go and summon everyone back to the cathedral.”
Brimsley nodded, bowing and then promptly leaving. He hurried away, leaving Kate and the Queen alone in the corridor.
Then the Queen turned to her, and Kate couldn't stop herself from biting her lip, feeling her nerves sparkling to surface.
But then the Queen's expression softened, confusing Kate, and her confusion only increased as the Queen wiped away her tears.
“Come on now, Miss Sharma, you cannot allow them to see you crying, can you?” The Queen's eyes were filled with compassion and understanding, her voice was calm and reassuring.
Kate shook her head hesitantly.
What the fuck was going on?
♤
Kate wasn't the only one who seemed confused, once they arrived at the cathedral, all the guests were whispering among themselves, a sense of uncertainty hung over the room.
Kate can see Eloise Bridgerton, with her arm linked with Penelope Featherington’s arm, who appears to be forcing her to be there.
Kate hated that she let her eyes move towards Lord Bridgerton then, who, just like his sister, didn't seem to want to be there.
Lady Bridgerton and Lady Danbury didn't seem to be comfortable there as well.
The Duchess appeared to be worried, as Benedict Bridgerton, but Kate doesn't dare look at Edwina, or Mary.
She didn't dare look at anyone else, as she tried not to show her own discomfort and confusion.
The Queen hadn't let her leave her side, and Kate felt restless with so many looks thrown at her direction.
But, it was the words that left the Queen's mouth that kept Kate stunned in place.
"I want to thank Miss Edwina and Lord Bridgerton for fulfilling their roles so well.” The Queen began. "I asked Miss Edwina to pretend to be the true diamond of this season and asked her and Lord Bridgerton to feign to be engaged, only for them to break off their engagement right here. Right before the wedding, in front of everyone.” The Queen told, gazing all firmly.
There was a collective gasp from the crowd.
Edwina and Lord Bridgerton looked at each other in shock. They looked stunned and uncertain, a stark contrast to the chaos around them.
Lady Danbury was whispering something in Mary’s ear, who seemed to be utterly confused.
Lady Bridgerton seemed to be relieved, and The Duchess kept staring from Lord Brigerton to Kate.
"You see, I wanted to catch Lady Whistledown.” The Queen continued on, in an imperative tone. "I wanted to see who would run away instead of staying during such a scandal, but either she is none of you, or she is smarter than I'd imagined. But I've realized that this doesn't matter... That she does not matter! Who is Lady Whistledown to have so much power over everyone's lives? I will not read her ridiculous columns anymore, and I hope you all will stop endorsing such gossipmonger, who not only brought scandal and intrigue upon us, but who also has caused us all so much hurt.” The Queen seemed to be defying anyone to contradict her.
The crowd applauded politely, showing their support, in response to the demanding voice tone of the Queen, but the tension in the room was palpable.
Eloise and Penelope seemed to be stunned in their places, both jittering nervously.
The Bridgerton siblings kept looking at each other, whispering, seeming to be shocked.
While Kate became more and more stunned, a whirlwind of emotions swept through her. She hadn't wanted any of this when she revealed everything to the Queen, in reality, she hadn't wanted anything, she just couldn't stop herself from venting. Her heart raced, and her mind struggled to process the unfolding events.
“You are free to enjoy the festivities, of course. I will see you all at my next ball, which it will be when we will celebrate the real diamond of this season, Miss Sharma.” The Queen announced, bringing Kate forward.
The weight of the Queen's words hung in the air.
Kate's confusion deepened. She did her best to not expose her astonishment. Kate listened to her words, but they didn't make any sense to her.
Since the Queen started speaking, her eyes hadn't left Edwina, who couldn't hide how upset she was with the whole situation, but in this moment she couldn't help but turn her face to look towards the Queen.
She couldn't hide her shock any longer, feeling her mouth opening, and her eyes widening, as her heart sped up in her chest. What the fuck had she just heard? The Queen's unexpected proclamation left Kate discombobulated.
"I understand that this may come as a surprise to some of you.” The Queen continued on, seeming to be delighted with the crowd's reaction. "But I believe that Miss Sharma has shown an exceptional grace and poise throughout this season. She has proven herself to be a true diamond of the first water, has she not?” The Queen's words echoed through the cathedral.
Those present agreed, without showing any real enthusiasm, but for the first time, Kate was not bothered by the falsehood of those people. Her mind was still trying to grasp the full meaning behind the Queen’s words.
The air was thick with tension, and Kate's mind raced as she tried to process the Queen's unexpected praise.
The Queen’s lips then broke into a smile, she clapped her palms, exclaiming. "Now.. everyone is dismissed…"
And then, she shooed away everybody with her hands, and the guests started to file out of the majestic cathedral, seeming to be bewildered.
Everyone left except for Kate, the Queen, Lady Bridgerton, the Duchess, Lady Danbury, Edwina, Mary and.. Lord Bridgerton.
The atmosphere was charged, and Kate felt a knot form in her stomach.
He was, evidently, disbelieved of all that had transpired.
Everyone was tense, with the exception of the Queen herself.
Edwina seemed to be seething with rage, clearly feeling humiliated by the entire situation. She took a step forward, starting to speak. “Your Majesty…”
“Hush.. you insolent child.” The Queen's stern gaze, as voice tone, made all eyes turn to her. "The only reason I’ve said such things, instead of ruining you all, it’s because of your ‘half sister’, Miss Edwina.” The Queen spoke, quite harshly.
That stunned everyone into silence.
Edwina turned pale, and Mary looked from the Queen to Kate, squeezing Lady Danbury's arm.
"You certainly did not deserve to have your reputation saved, after your behavior, Miss Edwina. Nor you, after dishonoring Miss Sharma, Lord Bridgerton. Nor you, after having concealed what transpired, Your Grace. I understand you did it to protect your brother, but what about you Lady Danbury, Lady Bridgerton, Lady Mary?” The Queen asked the matrons, with authority.
Then, she began to walk down the steps of the altar, saying, her words cut through the air like a blade. "This young lady was in your care, and you pushed Miss Edwina to marry a man who openly flirted with her sister! You pushed your son to marry Miss Edwina when he was callous with Miss Sharma's honor! And you…"
Lady Bridgerton didn't know where to look.
Lady Danbury's expression grew increasingly tense.
The Duchess looked embarrassed.
Lord Bridgerton’s cheeks were tinged in crimson hues, as he seemed to be making a monumental effort to not panic. His eyes widened, his jaw dropped, and his hands trembled slightly.
Edwina... seemed to be angry, confused, as fearful at the same time.
Mary looked guilty, swallowing hard, as the Queen stopped in front of her.
"Miss Sharma fell into your care, however, despite her funding you with her own dowry, providing a dowry for your daughter, her being willing to return to India, with nothing, just to ensure that your futures were secured, 'you'! You have sent her away, as if she were a thorn to be removed from you life.” The Queen said, which of her words laced with revolt.
Lord Bridgerton gasps, getting impossibly pale, but Kate doesn’t allow herself to pay attention to him.
Mary and Edwina looked at each other, and then they looked at Kate, who struggles to keep her head up.
Although she had longed to have someone in her corner through all these years, she did not wish for what she had done to be recognized in this way.
What value would their apology have, after the Queen of England herself had demanded it of them? What value would their apology have, after everything she had been through? Unfortunately, reckoning came a little too late for Kate.
"All because she did… what? Warned that Lord Bridgerton doesn't love Miss Edwina? That they wouldn't be a good match? Wanted for Miss Edwina not to marry with the first one who proposed? As if Miss Edwina was capable of such a sacrifice after all… .” The Queen scorned, her rebuke was a searing indictment.
The silence in face of the Queen’s words screamed.
“Miss Sharma did not wanted to burden you, even when you never bothered to take on any responsibility, throwing everything in her lap!” The Queen continued on, with venom in her eyes. "That shouldn't come as a shock, considering how you left everything behind, without a shred of consideration for the chaos you left in your wake, Lady Mary… ”
She gave her back to them, returning to Kate’s side.
"You all should be ashamed! Another mistake from you, and not even my consideration for Miss Sharma will prevent you from bearing the consequences of your actions. Now go, and don't appear in front of me for a long time!" The Queen exclaimed, dismissing them.
Everyone was shocked, but still, everyone moved promptly at the Queen's words, everyone, except for Lord Bridgerton.
He didn't move, he did not even blinked. He didn't take his eyes off of Kate, the corners of his mouth turned down, as he bit his lower lip, as if he was having to bite himself to not say anything, as if he was having to bite himself to not cry.
Kate frowns, not understanding him, for the countless time, and she tilts her head, refusing to continue to give him her time, or her attention.
Instead, she moves to leave the cathedral also, when she hears the Queen say.
“Not you, Miss Sharma. You are staying with me.” The Queen words although softer, did not leave space for discussion.
This freezes Kate in place, and this causes her to end up seeing everyone leaving the room, as him… Who looked back, seeming to be tormented, before leaving begrudgingly.
Then, she turns to the Queen, and once again she can't stop herself from speaking. "Your Majesty, I am so grateful, but… why?"
"Because I know what it's like to dedicate your entire life to someone else… I may not have had another choice, but you do… your ending may be different from mine…" The Queen says, warmly, altough a hint of sorrow reached her eyes.
Kate is speechless, at her honesty, at her maternal tone.
“I know you planned to go to India, that you didn't want to stay because of those two, but... You deserve to have every chance at happiness, if you don't find a suitor, I'll buy you a ticket to India.” The Queen said, while approaching Kate.
Her thoughts were in a disarray, Kate had stopped thinking about what she wanted for such a long time now, she couldn't even tell if what the Queen offered her was a good idea or not. So, she replies, feebly. "But, but.. I don't even have a dowry..."
"Dear, I am the Queen… “ The Queen replies, indulgently, putting a hand on her shoulder.
“Right.” Mutters Kate, opening a wan smile.
Kate had her entire life planned for years, and in one afternoon, with just the Queen's decree, they all shattered.
Remembering what she had heard earlier today from Mary, Edwina, and.. him, Kate thinks that perhaps it was for the best that this happened.
That instead of this being the end, of this being the moment in which she would lose her ground once again, it brought a glimmer of flickering hope in the darkness. Perhaps what the Queen offered her could present her with a new path.
A path where she could finally taste happiness.
A path where Kate could use this ending, to rewrite her future.