Work Text:
"Stiles."
Stiles guiltily puts the milk carton down and reaches for a glass.
“Uh, yeah Dad?”
His dad places an empty condom box on the kitchen counter between them.
Shit.
“Look, you’re eighteen, so as much as I’d like to arrest him, I legally can’t. And I’m at least glad this is empty, proving you’re being safe, but he is several years older than you, so please promise me you’re being careful.”
Stiles gapes. “What? They’re not much older than me.”
“What?”
They stare at eachother for a long moment.
“So,” his dad starts. “So, you’re not dating Derek Hale?”
Stiles laughs. “Oh Jesus. No, Dad. Not even a little bit. I think ‘barely tolerating’ is a better way to describe my relationship with Derek Hale.”
“Oh. Oh, that’s good. Uh, good talk then.”
“Yeah, yeah. I’m gonna go to school now, before I die of embarrassment.”
Stiles downs his milk and makes a bid for freedom. He’s opening the front door when his dad calls, “Wait. They?”
Fuck.
Stiles books it.
---
Stiles drops his bag on his desk with a loud bang, earning him a glare from Harris, which he ignores.
“We have a problem,” he says in an urgent undertone.
“It’s nowhere near the full moon, don’t we schedule all our problems around that?”
“Very funny, Wolfman.” Stiles sits down and leans forward. Allison and Scott lean in too. “My dad found an empty box of condoms.”
Allison groans. “Stiles.”
“I thought I’d gotten rid of it! I swear! Anyway, he assumed I was using them with Derek-”
Scott makes a face.
“Yeah. I know. Anyway, I - may have let the word ‘they’ slip out in regards to who I was using them with instead.” Stiles winces, and Allison shakes her head.
“Dammit. I had good money on Scott spilling the beans first. Lydia’s going to be insufferable.”
Stiles gapes. “Okay. Leaving aside the fact that you’re apparently betting on our love life with Lydia Martin, can we focus on how my dad knows? Well, pretty much. He’s the sheriff; working out mysteries is like his job description.”
“So tell him the truth,” says Scott simply.
Stiles turns to Allison, who’s frowning. “I was hoping we could avoid parental involvement for as long as possible,” she says with a sigh. “Preferably forever.”
“Hey.” He brushes her wrist lightly. “We’ll think of something else. Even if I have to say I’m sleeping with half of the guys in ‘Jungle.’ We’ll work it out.”
Allison huffs a sigh. “No. No. It’ll be alright. You can tell him. I know how much you hate lying to him.”
Stiles gapes at Allison for a second, before leaning across the table and kissing her quickly, but surely, on the lips. “I love you,” he whispers. “I know I don’t say it often - not as much as Scott does anyway - but I do.”
She colors and squeezes his hand. “I love you too, Stiles. I love you both,” she adds with a smile at Scott.
“As touching as this is, and really, it’s quite lovely - I would cry, but my mascara is perfect this morning - can we please talk about something other than your crazy polyamorism?”
“I know for a fact that that is not a word, Lydia. Now I see why you didn’t get a 2400 on your SATs.”
“Still ten points higher than you, Stilinski,” she shoots back with a toss of her curls. She and Danny sit down at the table with them and the conversation moves on, allowing some of Stiles’s panic to drain away.
---
It returns in full force on the drive home. Luckily, his dad’s already gone in to work the evening shift when Stiles gets back from lacrosse practice. There is, however, a strongly worded note on the fridge about their lack of a conversation earlier and the continuation thereof in the near future. It ends with a threat to consume only unhealthy things until said conversation occurs.
Stiles grumbles about extortion as he throws together a spinach pie. It’s a compromise: green enough to be healthy, but cheesy enough to be an apology. He’s not above a bit of bribery of his own. He drives over to the police station as soon as it’s ready.
Maria waves him through with a knowing look on her face. “In trouble, huh kid?”
He laughs nervously. “Pretty deep. I’m hoping this will help sort it out.”
His dad glances up from his paperwork, and takes in his puppy dog face and the pie. “You have ten minutes to spin me a good lie, Stiles.”
“No lies, Dad. I promise. Uh,” Stiles takes a deep breath and sits down. He cuts a piece while he tries to decide how to start. “It might sound kind of like a lie though.” He quails under his dad’s sharp look. “I mean, it sounds really crazy. It is really crazy-”
“Get on with it, Stiles. I’ve got work to do.”
Here goes nothing. “Scott and Allison.”
“Stiles, I can’t believe you. I thought you were better than that. He’s your best friend and you’re sleeping with his girlfriend?"
“No, not - not Scott and Allison separately. Scott and Allison together.”
He frowns. “They’re together,” he points out.
“Yes, but - more accurately - we’re together.”
The Sheriff takes a big bite of pie and chews it slowly, consideringly. “The - the three of you?”
“Yeah.”
"I don't understand."
Stiles takes a deep breath, and tries to explain. He explains how he and Allison got closer junior year and how they’d both realized guiltily that it was slightly more than friendship; how he and Scott got each other into and out of trouble like always and Stiles just tried to ignore the feelings he’d had for Scott since forever; and how the three of them had danced around it for months, feeling worse and worse until they’d been sitting at lunch one day and Scott had sniffed the air, smiled and said, "We're kind of idiots," and that had been that.
“Scott and Allison do the whole dating thing. They’re probably going to end up married with like a bajillion kids. And Scott and I do the best buddies, bromance thing. And Allison and I do this talking about our feelings without actually talking about our feelings thing. And the three of us just work together. Pack McCall. It’s weird, but what in our lives isn’t?”
His dad inspects him carefully. “And this is a serious sort of thing? Not just a phase or something?”
“You remember I told you about anchors? How it or they help keep a werewolf steady and human?”
His dad nods.
“Well, Scott says he’s got two now.”
The sheriff considers this. “I thought Scott was straight?”
Stiles has to laugh at that. “I think he still thinks of himself that way, but mostly, I think he just doesn’t care.”
His dad smiles. It’s small, but Stiles is going to count it as a victory. “That does seem like Scott.”
Now time for the hard question. “Can you - are you going to be okay with this?”
His dad takes another bite of pie and chews it slowly, staring off into the middle distance. “I loved your mom - still do really - and I never thought I could love someone more. And I haven’t, not in the same way. But when you were born-” his dad sighs. “If you’re asking if I still love you, the answer is of course. I always have and I always will.”
Stiles realizes he’s been tensed for impact only when he feels himself relax.
“I love you too, Dad.”
“As for the rest of it - I’m not gonna lie, kiddo, it’s going to take some getting used to.”
Stiles nods frantically. “Yeah. Of course. That’s fine. It took us some getting used to too.”
“So here’s my offer: I keep this pie and finish my shift. You go home, do your homework, and go to bed. Tomorrow morning, I’ll make breakfast, and we’ll talk some more, and at some point I’m going to want to talk to Scott and Allison.”
Stiles nods again. “Sounds totally reasonable. I’ll text them.”
“Fine, but I don’t want either of them over when I’m not there.”
“Dad!” His dad turns the full force of his police glare on him. “Right, right, very reasonable, Dad. Of course.”
“Mmm-hmmm. Thanks for the pie. Now get out of here."
Stiles waves and ducks out. As he passes the front desk, Maria gives him a thumbs up. “You’re alive!”
“It was a close thing,” he chuckles.
He shoots off a text to Scott before he pulls out of the parking lot.
Dad being surprisingly cool but you guys are banned from house for now :(
Scott responds immediately, D: sorry man! I’ll tell Allison
By the time he gets home there are two texts from Allison. The first is a sad face and a less than three, and the second reads, Let me know if you need me to bake a file into a cake.
He laughs. You can’t bake
I’d learn if you needed me to.
True love right there. Situation’s not that dire yet, but I’ll keep it in mind
Fifteen minutes later someone taps at his bedroom window.
“Dude!” says Scott in a stage whisper. “Let me in; I’m freezing my balls off out here.”
“What the hell, man?” gasps Stiles, opening the window. “I said you couldn’t come over.”
“Your dad always works late on Friday nights. I’m fine.”
Stiles shakes his head, and pulls Scott into the room and in for a kiss. “You’re an idiot. You didn’t drag Allison into this did you?”
“Just me,” Scott grins, pushing Stiles down onto the bed.
Stiles laughs into the kiss, attacking Scott’s mouth eagerly. Scott pulls away to lick and nip down the line of Stiles’s throat.
“Watch it!” he gasps. “Illegal makeouts. We - uh - we shouldn’t leave evidence.”
Scott growls and, instead of moving back up to Stiles’s lips, he goes lower, shoving back his t-shirt and biting at his collarbone. Hands are sliding under fabric, and Stiles yanks their lips back together, when Scott’s phone rings.
They freeze. It’s the ringtone programmed for Allison.
Scott guiltily pulls his phone out of his pocket. “Should I...?”
Stiles sighs and flops back against the pillows. “Answer it.”
“Hey Allison - - - No. I’m not at Stiles’s- - - Er. She wants to talk to you,” Scott says, handing the phone over.
“Hey Gorgeous!”
“I knew he was over there. I knew it!”
“Uh, yeah. I told him he should go, but...”
“Completely unfair. I’m coming over!”
“No! Really, don’t. We’d be in so much shit it my dad caught us. I’m making Scott leave in a second.”
Scott whines, and presses close to Stiles, his arms and legs wrapping around him like an octopus.
“Yeah right.” Allison huffs. “Fine. I’ll see you at school on Monday I guess.” She blows a kiss and hangs up.
Scott has nuzzled closer and is pretending to be asleep.
“Faker,” Stiles teases, slipping his phone back into his pocket and kissing him on the cheek. “Just a quick nap though. My dad can’t catch you here.”
---
Stiles is jerked awake by Scott flailing his arms in his face.
“Fuck! Your dad just pulled in!”
The two of them tumble out of bed with a loud thump.
“Shit!” Scott is scrambling around by the window for his sneakers. “I can only find one!”
“Leave them, I’ll hide them or something, you’ve got to get out of here before-”
“Stiles?” his dad calls from downstairs.
Scott’s eyes go wide with shock.
“Go!” Stiles hisses, shoving him towards the window.
Scott clambers up, leaps down into the backyard, and darts away through the trees. Stiles shuts the window quickly, kicks Scott’s shoes under his bed, and throws himself into his desk chair, just as his dad opens the door.
“Hey there.”
“Hey! Dad.”
“Quiet evening?”
“Yeah, just, you know. Homework.”
“Uh-huh. Goodnight, Stiles.”
“Night, Dad.”
Stiles sighs in relief as his dad crosses the hall.
“Oh, and Stiles? Scott should hang his jacket up; it’s not good for it to get all crumpled.”
Fuck.