Chapter Text
He panicked, he couldn't breathe, he had made a massive mistake and there was no way to take it back. This singular action changed everything, everyone wouldn’t be the same; no– more they couldn’t be the same even if he told himself to ignore it not everyone else would and that looming anxiety tore him apart.
Jax awoke immediately in an adrenaline filled rush. Wait– woke up? This relieved Jax immediately. A dream; none of that had actually happened. As he stood himself up on the edge of his bed his memories came back to him comfortingly. Right, it was just a dream.
For so many nights now he’d been having these awful scenarios play each morning and this being one of them, the clearest one yet. Shaking these thoughts aside and pushing himself to get up and stretch.
Aren’t dreams supposed to mean stuff? What in the world could these awful recurring nightmares mean… sure as hell wasn’t anything good, so he pushed it to the back of his mind.
Meeting everybody else at the front stage half asleep, hoping to any god nobody would take notice. Scanning the floor; Kinger, Zooble, annnnd himself. The rest? Just on cue Pomni, Ragatha, and Gangle strolled out from the halls all as a ‘girl squad’ .
Jax cringed at the observation and directed his attention back to the stage, Caine promptly atomized out of thin air with (of course) Bubble, with their routinely morning high energy shenanigans.
God he didn’t want to deal with any of this this morning but through experience he knew he could bear it. As dragging himself through rough mornings wasn’t any new practice for him by a long shot.
After the girls came over at last Caine announced, “Today’s adventure is; The Lost Lovely Lady!” That definitely sounded simpler than usual, but Jax didn’t complain over easy adventures, practically relieved this wouldn’t take as long as usual.
After hearing Zooble explain Caine’s near existential breakdown the other day, it’s only obvious Caine was still shaken up over it and by versa didn’t go all out with his adventure today, if today wouldn’t be overly exciting it’s better they’d all at least gotten it over with quicker, better than him tied up the whole time.
Caine elaborated further, “Miss Diana has gone missing from her family and it's all of your jobs’ to find and reunite them back together!” And of course Caine eagerly shoved them all through his portal, making an effort to push Zooble along with today's antics.
Arriving in a pastel kiddie town you’d see out of a picture book. Jax instinctively took the opportunity to get a jab on Zooble, “Wow, a place where you’d actually fit in with~” And without much surprise earned Jax a brash slap across the face by one of Zooble's newfound blunt paws out of her collection. Though it stung a cartoonish red, It woke Jax up enough to intake the adventure.
“Alright,” Ragatha scanned the neighborhood as each cutesy paper house repeated a pastel blue and the outlying house with the bright Pink and giant arrows appropriately pointed down at it, not able to be any more direct and obvious than it was. “So we should head in then, right?”
Interrupting obnoxiously, “y'know I think we should start with these other houses first~” joked Jax.
Gangle chirped up, “uhm but Caine wants us to go in that pink one…”
Jax pushed her aside “Nahhh” while Zooble managed to barely catch Gangle’s fall and luckily her comedy mask as well!
“Thanks Zooble…” Gangle swooned. Jax just rolled his eyes and soon enough found himself being dragged along (literally) by Zooble’s tight grip on the collar of his overalls.
Pomni cautiously leaned over to Ragatha, “Uhm… does Zooble usually keep Jax in order during adventures then?” she hesitantly whispered.
Ragatha chuckled, “Well you could say that, they don’t join us for a lot of adventures most of the time but when they do; they are a big help at keeping things moving along!”
Pomni nods at that. Carefully looking at Zooble, Now that she had spent some time with the group she felt better acquainted yet she hadn’t managed to really learn all that much about Zooble's deal.
Inside the house a scribbly family with exaggerated sobs and tears welcomed them kindly. “W-welcome, you’re here to find my mommy isn’t that right?” Kinger knelt down to the little boy and assured him calmly that they’d do just that!
While the NPC’s spilled their exposition dump for the rest of the group Jax managed to sneak off upstairs to explore and snoop about. For whatever reason Jax couldn’t seem to get the same playful persona to work today, and it was starting to really take a toll on him. He placed himself in the corner of the nursery room where he sprawled himself across a rocking chair drained and disinterested.
He had gotten his appropriate mischief quota filled so all he could care to do was sleep off the adventure and have the gang come get him and scold him a bit for skipping out. With that plan in mind Jax let himself relax and close his eyes in the meantime until a voice startled his eyes back open.
Pomni at the door frame with a drooling child in hand, “well, since uhm you don’t seem occupied you wouldn’t mind keeping this little guy busy and out of the way do ya?” Pomni suggested hesitantly.
“Yeah whatever, I don't care.” Jax mumbled without bothering to look over.
The sound of the jester's footsteps leaving down the hallway and the new company of a literal sticky squiggly child prompted Jax an excessive sigh as he sat up in the chair and down next to the kiddo on the floor. Watching the kid wobble about with his toys trying to form his judgments.
Suddenly the toddler stood and handed Jax some blocks innocently. Jax nodded indifferently and started fiddling and building a wall with them, getting the attention of the kid to join him happily.
A loud shout rang from the neighboring room “–LEFT JAX TO WATCH THE KID?!” Ragatha had bolted into the nursery in almost an instant and completely froze in her tracks when she saw Jax peacefully playing with the kid.
Jax had just processing this scene, embarrassed, attempted an explanation of any kind but Ragatha beat him to it, “well- nevermind uhm you seem to be handling that uh… keep at it heh heh”
Jax felt mildly humiliated but his mood prevented him from reacting much, “yeah sure”.
And as soon as she left Jax quickly went back to building with the blocks again. Despite being embarrassed he managed to get quite invested nonetheless and before he had known it barely an hour passed and the gang was curiously watching him outside the door.
It wasn’t like he was doing anything that bizarre right? It was simple enough that anyone could see the appeal. Ms. Diana entered as the kid ran into her arms eagerly, “Momma!”
Jax grimace, he surely had a mother in the real world… and to her knowledge he'd seemed to disappear without warning. God he felt awful, not being able to remember his own mother whether or not he had one to begin with.
Distracting himself he got up and left with the rest of the group back to the circus.
Gangle was restless before gathering enough courage to ask what was on her mind, “Jax, how come you’re acting so differently today?”
Jax perked up an eyebrow, “I don’t know what you’re talking about ribbons.”
“...it’s just, well you did be a little mean but otherwise you were pretty chill today… I just appreciate that, whether you meant to or not!” Gangle shyly fiddled with her hands while saying this.
Something in Jax lit up when he heard that. Weird. “Uh yeah…thanks I guess.”
Ragatha and Zooble whipped their heads around in utter disbelief, “ALRIGHT WHAT HAPPENED?! JAX IS SHOWING GRATITUDE TOO NOW?!”
Jax quickly withdrew himself, “Oh not so fast rabbit boy! What’s with you today?”
“Nothing… just lay off”
“No, I don't think so. Explain or I’ll get Caine to for me”
“Seriously I said it’s nothing, stop being nosy”
“Hmm alright then~ Caine!”
“SHH– SHUT THE [Gloink] UP OKAY HOLY [cartoonish bleep]! Like I said, it's nothing, I just feel… I don't know… stupid ?”
Ragatha perked up curiously, “ stupid ?”
“Well yeah… that’s the only way I can describe it. Literally feeling stupider and more tired than usual.”
“That doesn’t make you stupid though Jax…”
“And what’s that supposed to mean dollface?” his distress peaking out.
Jax, now heated and annoyed, escaped back to his room. God, what was with him today? This wasn’t normal… or at least not this severe. Has he felt like this before?
The strain of thought gave Jax a headache, “great I shouldn’t have said anything… Ragatha’s going to be poking around me all day now…” and almost as if he had summoned her, Ragatha was outside his door asking to come in. Jax didn’t bother with an answer and Ragatha invited herself in.
“Wow uh, this is the first time i’m actually seeing your room… its uhm…” A mess, A giant mess with no exaggeration. Only now realizing how bad it really had gotten.
“I don’t wanna hear it…”
“I wasn’t going to make fun of you…”
“What’re you doin’ here?” he shot out hostilely
“…I guess I was just worried about ya is all…”
Jax tensed up, “Well don’t.”
Ragatha went silent and sat down next to him on his bed cautiously, lending a shaky hand to rub his back.
It felt good, but it also didn’t. He wasn’t a kid, why was he still feeling so stupid still. This indecisive conclusion left him silently embracing her pets.
“You remind me of Pomni…”
Jax’s ears perked up and his interest piqued. “Wdym?”
She took a small shallow breath pondering her answer carefully, “well, don’t tell Pomni but she sorta regresses sometimes and you reminded me of that…”
“Regress… what? What are you talking about?”
“Oh, I should’ve known since it’s not really well known… Basically bottom-line it’s a type of coping mechanism for some people where they mentally regress (hence the name) and pretty much get into a younger childish mindspace either voluntarily or involuntarily.”
She shrugged. “Pomni hadn’t outright said she regresses but every now and then it peeks out a bit.”
Jax’s full attention to each and every word. “Is that really a thing? That sounds like a weird cringe internet thing–”
“Oh no! This is very different.”
“Huh” Jax took a moment to process this. It felt like a bullet to the gut. Felt younger? That actually sounded right. Like she had put words to something he didn’t know was there.
Jax went up and averted his eyes anywhere else in the room but her own. “...so what do people with that sorta thing do about it? They get meds or something?”
Ragatha shook her hands, “Oh no, they don’t need any of that! Typically they just embrace it!”
“Embrace… feeling young?”
“Yeah! It can be relieving and commonly used to destress.”
“You sure know a lot about that stuff,” Jax pointed out snarkily.
“Heh well I dealt with a lot of kids in the real world, so it’s only natural I fell in love with this sorta thing.”
“...people seriously like being babied and treated like kids?”
“For some people, but of course it can vary from person to person”
Jax went quiet again in thought, his mind racing at his next words carefully, to Ragatha’s attention.
“You okay bunny?”
“Yeah yeah… uh this is just weird is all.”
“Not at all! It’s pretty natural for people tbh”
Jax and Ragatha both knew what he wanted to ask, Ragatha knew this was sensitive for him so she waited for him to feel comfortable.
“...Hey Rags, that sounded a little too familiar whatcha’ said back there… and, [censored] what am I even saying…”
Ragatha urged him on, “Nono, you’re fine! Take your time!!” clearly ecstatic he was opening up to her.
“...I think I got that [beep]” Jax admitted at last. He sighed and reiterated, “I think I regress…”