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Dan considered killing the Joker before. One monster to the other.
He thought that as someone who got to have a ‘redemption’, no matter how undeserving of it everyone might have thought him, he might be morally required to make sure that the Joker stops torturing and killing. One way or the other.
But that was before he even got to Gotham, and he discarded the idea pretty quickly. The rules in Gotham are simple, if it’s not your business you better stay the fuck out of it.
There is a fine line somewhere there, but as evident just from looking at Danny and Dani, Dan never was terribly good at discerning those lines, none of them are.
Nobody complains anywhere he can hear if he follows the sounds of a scuffle and scares the attackers off. But if he hurts the petty thieves, even the ones with weapons, or tries to offer further help like escorting someone home or helping them to any other location he oversteps.
Calling an ambulance is fine but offering his phone so that they can call someone else is bad. As if he knows how to find someone’s identity from a phone number. Though nobody in Gotham would pick up a call from an unknown number anyway.
He spent months in Gotham without meeting him once, too, so it really isn’t his business. He is an Outsider who never even suffered a single Joker attack, who hasn’t been exposed to Joker Gas even once and who didn’t lose a single person to the murderous madman. Someone like him tracking the Joker down and killing him would not go over well.
And, redemption or no, he is on strict orders not to cause any undue mayhem or disproportionate harm. And, loathe as he may be to admit it, he doesn’t want to cause trouble for the kid. Danny did get him out of that Thermos with minimal support, even Jazz had had some doubts.
Yeah, the Joker is a rabid animal, the kind you’re supposed to put out of its misery. But that isn’t Dan’s business, he is just an Outsider, insane or desperate enough to go to a university in Gotham of all shitholes.
It’s not his rabid animal and the owner gets to decide when to put it down.
Problem is just, nobody really knows who the owner is. It might be Batman. Or the city as a whole. It could be someone who knew the man under the makeup. Or another rouge. Maybe Harley Quinn, though that probably works the other way around.
Dan thinks it’s the Bat. They made themselves arch-enemies, that’s the sort of thing you need to take responsibility for. So, the Joker is possibly Batman’s rabid animal. He is also still alive, even though Batman usually gets things done.
He reportedly tortured one of the Robins to death and he is still alive. The only reason why Dan never got murdered when he killed innocents by the thousands was because nobody who tried succeeded.
And then he became a world ending problem and everyone that might have stood a chance at stopping him, didn’t.
He never got to fight Clockwork, but that alone says a lot about how that fight would have gone.
But nevermind that, there is a story there. Some really important reason for the Joker’s continued survival in a city full of people who can legally (and illegally) own guns and know where he spends his time at least half the year. Arkham can’t keep anyone inside, there is no way that it could keep people out.
In reality, none of that actually matters.
Fingers can be pointed; stones can be cast. Nobody really needs to take responsibility for the actions of the criminally insane. If things had been different the Blame Game would have probably started at some point. But what-ifs never get Dan anywhere useful, and the reality is this:
The Joker’s goons kidnapped Dan.
Someone who doesn’t know anything about the oldest Wayne kid beyond, tall, built, black hair and blue eyes, went and kidnapped Dan.
World ending monster, most terrifying of ghosts, most terrible version of Daniel Fenton that the multiverse could come up with, has fought and bested every hero and villain on the planet Dan.
Seven more or less baseline humans pointed guns at him, called him a Wayne kid, ignored the scared protests of the people who know him in the supermarket because they are regulars and so is he, and ordered him to move into a black van.
Dan considers killing them all immediately. But a mistaken identity kidnapping is pretty tame in comparison to what he had done in the past and the idiots are possibly just trying to survive in Gotham after somehow ending up here.
No born and bred Gothamite would ever mistake Richard ‘Dick’ Grayson for anyone else, but ever since he moved, to become a cop of all thankless jobs, the newcomers don’t always get his face shoved down their throat via every third news article.
The other problem with Option A: Indiscriminate Murder is the other shoppers. Most of them are other regulars and Mary’s son just turned three a few weeks ago. He doesn’t want to involve them any further.
For a similar reason any sort of ghostly powers are out too. He settled into Gotham nicely, and he rather suspects that the process would be impossible to repeat anywhere else.
It’s not even that problematic, with the bats being who they are, there is a chance that he gets rescued before they even get him to the second location. And if not, then that second location will most likely contain far fewer civilians.
He goes and sits inside the van.
This is basically a Win-Win situation for him, when the odds are stacked as tall as the Everest in your favour, there are no wrong moves. Fact is, he is dead enough that they can’t kill him any further and nobody in Gotham has access to the kind of weaponry that might hurt him if someone with a baseline human body even manages to hit him.
He even gives them his phone when they ask for it, phasing the SIM out of it and into his hand. That would be very unhealthy for a normal person, but Dan happens to be dead. And also, mostly a ghost.
They put a surprisingly clean bag over his head and possibly bdsm-gear quality handcuffs around his hands and then the van starts moving. The people in the shop would have called the police by now, but this is Gotham. Realistically he expects them to show up in an hour at the earliest. And even then, they would be at the supermarket, only just starting a half-hearted investigation into his whereabouts.
But that’s fine. Either someone will take care of the problem before it really becomes one, or Dan will make it stop being a problem. Easy.
They arrive at the warehouse without a single hitch, which seems like divine intervention, but Dan has met too many gods to bank on that. It might just be really shitty luck, though he isn’t sure if it’s his shitty luck or that of the goons.
They even lead him into the second location, a warehouse most likely, this is becoming boring, politely. All in all, these might be the nicest kidnappers in all of Gotham. Hell, the average citizen in Gotham would be rougher with him, how cute.
“And now, the moment you have waited for! The golden boy of Gotham himself! Richard Grayson enters the stage from the left!”, followed up with a maniacal cackle and a rough shove to his back from the goons who had been really far too nice up until their boss could see them.
Those words also introduce new problems to his earlier semi-plans. The Joker is not alone, he has an audience. And the humiliation of introducing his victim and not getting it delivered correctly is going to translate right into anger.
And also, the Joker must have been willing to entertain the audience differently if the goons didn’t ‘succeed’ in delivering Grayson, that might even mean a second kidnaping victim.
Instead of fear or hopelessness, it’s indecision that paralyses him.
But just like with fear or hopelessness the hesitation costs him.
“Oh, no. You came all this way for a chance to star in my show and now I have a far better alternative than the performance I had planned for you. What a waste.”
Dan knows what is going to happen before he hears it, although his own stint at villainy didn’t involve any guns, he knows the sound of a body hitting the floor intimately.
He knows the smell of blood just as well though, and there is none. Second Hostage confirmed, current state inconclusive, or something like that.
Then the bag gets pulled of roughly and taking a few of his hairs with it, DNA evidence, lovely. He tries to appraise his surroundings, but the only things that stand out are the unmoving, but not dead, person on the floor and the big screen that shows a video of the current situation being live streamed with the chat going crazy. A cursory search also uncovers three cameras, hopefully that is all of them.
He automatically scans the quickly moving lines, but nothing they write is worthwhile.
‘LOL, that isn’t a Wayne!’
‘Did Wayne adopt another adult when I wasn’t looking??’
‘Fuck, why is it always Waynes, this is boring’
‘I don’t know man he does have black hair and those baby blues’
“Who brought the Wayne kid here?”, he isn’t laughing right now, but the smile is going to resurface soon enough.
The goons shuffle a little, before spitting out the one that was doing all the talking in the supermarket.
‘Oh hahaha, that dude is fucked’
‘10$ that Batman shows up before anyone dies’
And damn, he did conclude that those poor bastards are doing it because they don’t have anything else. He refrained from killing them for that exact reason.
“Please. Come into view of the camera so that I can reward you.”
He is holding his gun while monologuing and gestures wildly with it while his finger remains right on the trigger. Inadvisable behaviour but he is insane, so.
‘Bet, the bat isn’t going to be there’
If Dan wants to keep them from dying, he is going to have to do something about that.
He phases through the cuffs behind his back, but doesn’t let them drop to the floor, instead he throws them at the group of goons in a high arch. Just a small distraction.
He doesn’t even need three fast steps to move into the Jokers personal space. His own go at insanity had, as mentioned before, not featured himself shooting any guns and frankly, he only vaguely knows how they work.
But it’s easy enough to grab the Joker’s wrist and use his height and strength to his advantage while taking the gun out of his hand. The Joker does pull the trigger, but the shot goes wide and hits either the walls or the roof and nothing crashes down, so it’s probably fine.
Because at the end of the day, the Joker is a crazy man that has far too much fun torturing kids, but he isn’t the sort of being that can cause an apocalypse.
He causes fear in the hearts of Gotham, but he never even levelled a city. It’s laughably easy to hold him actually.
He can still see the chat, at least they have taste.
‘DAMN, what was that?!?!’
‘Oh shit, he’s hot’
‘wowow did you guys see how fast that dude moved?!’
‘YES, please kill him!!!!1!!1!!1’
Dan uses the gun, because he is already holding it and waste not, want not or something. It was easy and if he hadn’t used it, he would have had to put down the gun. He aims it down, is definitely not careful enough for someone aiming a gun at a person and shoots the clown in the foot.
The Joker barely started laughing, hysterically and clearly in pain but refusing to scream, before Dan leaves the view of the camera to take care of the goons. He knocks them all out.
“Are you going to kill me?”
Dan moves back into view of the camera. He considers shutting it off, it’s not really anyone’s business what he may or may not do now. He leaves it on, no need to deal with the backlash if it doesn’t really annoy him. And the live stream might be leading Batman to his location right now.
‘If he does it im gonna marry him’
‘If he does he needs to start selling merch’
‘I sure hope he does’
‘No! this shit would be so boring without the Joker!!!!1!!’
“I might.”
‘Stone cold’
‘If he chickens out ill find out where he lives’
‘what kinda answer is that???’
“That wouldn’t be very smart. It would make you like me.”
If that is about murder in general, that boat has sailed a long time ago, if it is about his body-count then Dan is most definitely winning.
“It would not.”
‘Hot damn, I want that confidence’
‘YEAH, you go dude’
“Of course it would!”, he is laughing more naturally now, “Batman doesn’t like killers, are you trying to replace me as his nemesis?”
“No.”
Maybe he should at least feign concern, but it doesn’t matter now that the Joker is Batman’s rabid animal, because the Joker attacked Dan. Putting down a stranger’s dog that attacks you is allowed.
The goons are desperate people that accidently found themselves a monster willing and capable of taking care of the one they could never get rid of by themselves.
Something is niggling at the back of his mind, why mention Batman?
“Do you think Batman’s arrival will save you?”
‘Oh damn!’
‘I mean, Batman already saved him once, didn’t he?’
‘Just do it already!! The suspense is KILLING me’
“What?”
Huh. He does. Dan squashes the urge to make it hurt, to forego the gun and slowly and painfully pull him apart. What did they say he did to the second Robin? Beat him to death with a crowbar? Dan would have to restrain himself, or it would be over far too quickly, but it would be satisfying.
However, this is about proportionality, at least the infinite realms version of it.
Still, the Joker needs to learn what happens when you put monsters in the same room alone. They kill each other.
And there are only monsters here.
“It won’t.”
He waits a second longer, just to make sure that his words register. Then he shoots.
A headshot from a rather close distance isn’t actually easy, and he never learned how to shoot a gun, but he can cheat a little. It’s not even enough to make his eyes change colour.
He doesn’t wait until the shot hits, instead he empties all the remaining bullets into his chest. A clean headshot might have been better, but this is more satisfying, even if it isn’t a substitute for getting his hands dirty properly.
The gun clicks twice to show that there are no more bullets before he lowers it.
‘shots fired’
‘LITERALLY’
‘Is he actually dead?’
‘I think im in love’
‘Oh no, he is HOT’
The Joker is most definitely very dead. Dan knows these kinds of things. He is also not going to become a ghost, he has the potential, sure, but Dan is at the location of his death, and he is actively working to make sure that there is no ectoplasm in the air for a fledgling ghost to feed on.
Since there is no one else in the warehouse he could talk to, he addresses the chat for the first time.
“I should call 911 now, shouldn’t I?”
‘Priorities’
‘Thankyouthankyouthankyou’
‘maybe? Dunno what number they use in america’
But there is something more important to take care of first. The second hostage went down like a sack of potatoes earlier and humans are so fucking breakable.
He starts walking when he absentmindedly remembers the SIM in his hand and that the goons broke his phone.
“Oh yeah, I think they smashed my phone on the way here. Is anyone from Gotham watching this?”
‘ME’
‘I’m from Gotham’
‘I am! Marry me’
“Please call 911, I won’t resist arrest, and also, some of the people here might need medical attention.”
Even though the second hostage looks stable to him, you can never be sure with the living. He is kind of afraid of touching the young woman.
‘My folks are celebrating on the streets, the police won’t come through easily, sry’
‘I already called them for a Joker attack, they won’t be there for a while’
‘?????? Is the Joker really dead????’
‘Who r u’
‘No way is anyone in Gotham letting this HERO end up in prison over this’
‘I know a really good lawyer’
He thinks disclosing his identity through. For about a second. But if everyone is stalking him there is no way for the cops to quietly disappear him into a prison somewhere and they have seen him already. His anonymity died a fiery death as soon as he steps into view of the cameras.
“Dan Nightingale, thanks, but I know some decent lawyers too.”
If Vlad doesn’t send his team of bloodhounds to his rescue, he is getting a birthday card that pronounces him the very worst godfather ever. And Danny would give him so much shit over it, if Vlad knows what is best for him then he is going to send them unprompted, everyone knows that he is always stalking every version of Daniel Fenton.
The only reason why he doesn’t stalk Jazz is because she takes it as an invitation to talk about his feelings with him.
The woman also doesn’t have a phone on her, but whatever. He could take one of the goons’, but while he doesn’t know how to find someone after a phone call, the cops definitely do.
In Gotham things like that are to be avoided. Besides, he made sure not to hurt them too badly, a quick glance reveals that at least two already woke up and quietly left. Good for them.
Some others are going to get out before the cops arrive, probably.
‘DanDanDanDanDanDanDnaDanDanDan’
‘I LOVE YOU’
‘Im gonna go write a fanfic about Dan/Joker, this is gonna be awesome’
‘wth lol’
‘Fuck, don’t you go to Gotham U??!’
He is saved from having to deign half of those things with an answer by the sound of Batman arriving, which gives him a great reason to turn his back on them.
“Holy shit, you killed the Joker! This is great!”
Or maybe not Batman, that modulated voice is probably Red Hood. One of the few vigilantes Dan has actually met before.
“We do not condone killing Hood.” This one is red too, but he isn’t Hood. Dan should know his name, but he doesn’t. He is clearly just parroting the rules, because he is fighting a smile down and struggling to sound stern.
The rest of their reactions go ignored in favour of seizing up Red Hood. He feels distinctly dead. He is alive, yes, but only through some sort of freaky intervention. Dan doesn’t believe in divine intervention, but he also knows that you don’t have to be a god to bring someone back to life.
More importantly, he feels elated. The kind of happiness the dead can exclusively achieve by fulfilling their obsessions.
The second Robin was murdered by the Joker. Red Hood used to be dead and famously tried to kill the Joker and/or Batman before and works with the bats despite having killed before and still occasionally doing it. His obsession is fulfilled by seeing the Joker dead.
That paints a pretty clear picture.
And because Dan has manners, no matter what the others say, he moves out of view of the cameras and towards Red Hood and reaches out to his core with his own.
“You’re welcome.” You don’t owe me anything, I did it with great pleasure, You deserve to get avenged, I’m glad I could avenge you.
Just a second he allows his own eyes to flash green, the slight shiver that he can see is delightful.
Yeah, the following media circus is going to be messy and maybe he should consider dying his hair or some shit. But just for this it’s going to be worth it.
The chances that he is going to get into trouble with Danny just became zero too. In fact, he might be rewarded if he helps the core of the man before him properly develop.
And who knows, maybe tall dark and handsome is free Saturday evening.