Archive of Our Own

Shane woke up with a scream, and to this day, he wasn’t sure whether it was his or Ryan’s. It was being torn from him with a violent lunge. He sat up, tried to stand and fell to the ground, pain spreading through his entire body like wildfire, except it was not his.

It was a dull, throbbing phantom pain.

He knew immediately that it was Ryan’s. And he knew immediately what it was. He’d been exorcised a couple times in his lifetime, knew the sensation of it intimately, the acid pouring out over him, Ryan, both of them in waves, scorching them from inside out.

He felt it slipping from him. Shane couldn’t remember the last time he’d ever clung to something so violently as he clung to Ryan’s soul, but the sensation of it being torn from him struck almost physically, leaving him bereft and reeling at first, then numb.

The pain stopped as sudden as it had come, the vague feeling of being ill fading quickly.

They took his connection to Ryan away. They took his soul away. Now the last thing that had connected them, the pain of the process was fading as well, leaving Shane as alone and starving as before.

Seraphim . He should’ve known, he supposed. In the end, there was a reason why demons had never won the upper hand over them, in all the years of war Shane had lived through. Deceptive, versatile little angels, always slipping through the cracks, always hitting them where they were weak.

He’d been an idiot, thinking he and Ryan were the exception. Because there he had gone, the moment he was out of Shane’s reach for just a single day. He’d given him his soul and then taken it away, had let them tear Shane’s hold out of him like a cancer, had rather writhed in pain than stay his.

Shane wasn’t an idiot. He could take a hint. No matter how much they had loved each other, they were still on opposite sites.

He should’ve never gotten his hopes up.

He should’ve known that someone who still had a choice would eventually end up choosing against him.

In the quiet of the night, Shane Madej lay on his bedroom floor, stared at the ceiling and gave up.

And when he had finally found sleep  like this, eyes eventually falling shut from exhaustion, passed out and alone, he missed the first, budding bloom somewhere deep inside his being, where remnants of Ryan’s soul desperately clung to him.

But when Shane woke up the next morning, he could feel it in his clutches again, battered, bruised, but Shane’s. He swallowed down a complicated mix of emotions and questions and simply kept it.

He’d told Ryan that he would. Whether Ryan still wanted him to or not was irrelevant. He was a demon, this was what he did.

Ryan was tired. It was a constant state. A therapist would’ve probably told him that he was depressed, but he avoided them.

Ryan was a lot of things these days, depressed was just one of them. It was hard to put a finger on it, all the ways he had fallen apart since his life had been spun completely out of his control.

He didn’t think anyone noticed. The fans, they saw he looked tired, they saw he looked a little stressed sometimes and they told him to drink water and take care of himself and he told them that he would, because they were fans and they were sweet, and that was that. Confused, maybe, about why he wasn’t with Shane anymore, though they never asked. They knew better than to do so, but Ryan could read the question in their minds as easily as if they did. It was so loud, following him wherever he went.

If anyone noticed him being in the company of the same three men, consistently over the two years since he’d left Los Angeles, they didn’t think any of it. So he had bodyguards. It was no wonder, after his apartment burned down, they thought. He got to be a little paranoid, they thought.

Hah.

His “bodyguards” had made him light that match himself. Had disappeared him, taken him away from everyone he knew, and then trapped him there. The few last threads of his old life, he had clawed himself back to with all his might, against their explicit will.

Now he was stuck doing stupid solo ghost hunts that he couldn’t make himself care about - so what if he found ghosts? So what if there was a demon in these houses? What did he have left to prove? Demons existed, ghosts might, but without Shane by his side, none of it mattered.

If there was anything in the houses Ryan went to, they’d cleansed it, turned it to dust before it could even reach Ryan. They went wherever he went. Never let him out of their sight.

“Bodyguards”, sure, but none that Ryan had hired, nor wanted, nor could he escape them.

And while every bone in his body ached for Shane, while every fibre of his soul screamed for him, while he walked through the world feeling like an empty shell, missing his family, his friends, his demon, his life, all he knew was this: The moment they’d find out who Ryan’s soul had belonged to, they’d kill Shane.

So for as long as they lived - he could never see him ever again.

Time didn’t dull the pain but it dulled Ryan. The only thing that kept him going were the nights. They could stand in front of his bedroom door in shifts, never leave him out of their sight even in the dead of night, but they couldn’t stop him from escaping into his dreams.

Every night, Shane was with him.

It was never anything clear. It wasn’t that he was sitting down with him for tea and had a conversation about how his life was going. It was barely even coherent enough to remember much, the next day. All he got were images, quickly fading little moments that came back to him during the day, before they finally disappeared, never quite tangible. An atmosphere hanging over him, a comfortably dark one, of being loved, kept, understood.

The feeling haunted him, made him crave Shane so much that it ached, somewhere deep inside where he suspected his worn out soul resided, straining to go where it belonged.

But Ryan’s soul was strong, his loyalty to Shane was strong, and Ryan was strong. That night, cleansed, sick and broken, he’d made an oath to himself, to Shane, whether he could hear him or not, that he’d return his soul to him, and he was still determined, still held onto it with bleeding, ragged hands.

That oath kept him holding on.

Well, the oath and a little bit of pettiness.

So Ryan, for two years, defied the angels in the only way he knew how to.

“Heyya demons,” he said whenever he entered a haunted house. “It’s me, ya boi.”

The demons never answered but that was alright. There really was only one he was actually talking to.

And if he wore a provocative shirt once or twice, oh well, the seraphim weren’t enthused about it, but most of the time they only noticed when it was already too late. Pentagrams, black-winged angels, a gaming tee for a game called “Demon’s souls”.... Humans loved their imagery. Ryan loved it too.

And when he underlayed his instagram posts with motherfucking “Angel with a shotgun” like a 14 year old teen girl? Well, no one paid it a whole lot of attention.

Ryan hoped though, he really did, that somewhere out there, in Los Angeles, where he was doing his silly little Puppet History videos that Ryan didn’t dare to watch so he wouldn’t expose Shane to his kidnappers, Shane paid it some mind. Noticed. Saw. And got the message.

Understood to wait for Ryan because even if it took an eternity, he would free himself just to entrap himself anew to his demon.

Shane watched.

Through all the grief over his betrayal, Shane couldn’t stop himself from watching over Ryan the only way he knew how.

Watched him on his tiny screen, going through the motions, always accompanied by what he very quickly assumed were his new Seraphim friends.

And slowly crept in the gut-wrenching realization that he hadn’t been betrayed, but Ryan had been well and truly stolen from him, trapped in a cage of light. In front of his eyes, he turned paler and more exhausted by the day. In front of his eyes, he called out for Shane, little messages that made his cold, cold heart beat again, pumping hope through his veins like blood.

Shane knew there was nothing he could do. They were three against one, and he’d felt their power even through his connection with Ryan. He couldn’t take them on on his own without losing his life - and losing his life would mean losing Ryan.

So, night for night, he snuck his way into Ryan’s dreams. Through scorching light, screams, the terrifying sense of loss of control always present, he waded his way to Ryan, slammed a door on the images that haunted him, pulled him into his arms and held his weeping form until he calmed. It wasn’t perfect and Ryan always woke before he could ever really be aware of his presence - not as a dream, but as something real, something tangible that was coming for him.

But if he could give Ryan a little relief like this, it was enough.

And for as long as Shane had that connection open, for as long as he was able to enter Ryan’s dreams, he knew Ryan still considered himself his. So that was all worth it. The light, the pain, the trauma Shane lived through every night by Ryan’s side, he’d take it all, for as long as he had to.

“You know,” Ryan told the ceiling, already knowing this was just another one of these scenes he was going to have to cut out of the final video.

It felt like several steps back, lying here in a haunted house, with barely any equipment, no one around to film and prepare the place but three seraphim he hated with his entire being. And it wasn’t like they were making themselves useful - they were just standing outside, planted in front of the exit door like statues. They’d cleared the house exactly once, driving out every potential demon with their light, and in their wake ruining literally any evidence Ryan could hope to get, then just left him to be bored inside of there, guarding the doors.

Not that they were worried about anything getting in, oh no. Ryan was pretty sure they were making sure he wasn’t getting out without their notice.

“I finally get it, I think. I’ve wasted half my life away, standing around in dark rooms, yelling at ghosts and demons, and what for?”

“I mean I gotta be honest, I genuinely don’t know,” a voice told him from the darkest corner in the room. “Everyone has their hobbies, but yours seems particularly weird to me, kid.”

Ryan flinched. He knew the voice, but couldn’t place it. In his head, he went through the angels, but even as he asked “Michael?” he knew that it wasn’t.

“Not quite.” It was the smirk that did it, the familiar cadence of it, recognizable, even though he couldn’t see it. Ryan jumped off the floor, feeling thrills running down his spine.

“Kyle?!”

A demon. A demon, with him, for the first time in- God. He couldn’t even think about how long it had been. Ryan’s head was whirling. If Kyle could be here, maybe- Ryan frantically reached for his flashlight, but couldn’t get it to work.

“Don’t get your hopes up, kid, it’s just me. Though, if you changed your mind about that giant you’ve been promising yourself to-”

“No,” Ryan choked and then, even though it almost caused him physical pain, “shush.”

“Don’t worry, they can’t hear us.”

Ryan was still fumbling about with his flashlight, but it just wouldn’t start up. He frowned.

“Are you messing with my lights?”

“Oh. My b.” The light sprung on, leaving Ryan to stare at the small cone of light illuminating nothing but Kyle, sitting cross-legged on the floor opposite Ryan, solemn and grinning. He looked like a picture of innocence, just like his Tinder picture had looked two years ago, charming and cute in a sort of ruffled way.

Ryan could see why he’d swiped right on him, in hindsight. He reminded him a little of Shane.

“Sorry. It’s kind of part of the dramatic entrance, sometimes I forget you angels aren’t that good with darkness.”

Ryan couldn’t help but grin, the relief of finally, finally seeing something else than the ever same three angels, even if it was Kyle, the demon that almost ate him, leaving him giddy for once.

“You’re sure they can’t hear us - how - how can you even be here? They cleansed the whole building, I’m pretty sure.”

“Did they? Cute,” Kyle’s grin turned devious for a moment, then he shrugged. “Cleansing is momentary. I simply came here after. You’d know. Don’t you?”

Ryan’s jaw tensed.

“You know what they did to me, then?”

“Oh, it’s got Michael’s handwriting all over it,” Kyle grinned, shaking his head softly. “Stubborn old fool, that one, isn’t he? Powerful though.”

“I’ve noticed,” Ryan said dryly. “Please tell me you’re here to help me find a way out, rather than mocking me.”

“Welllll….” Kyle crooked his head, smiling mildly. “I could help you. I’m a very helpful guy. For the right payment, of course.” His eyes gleamed darkly and before Ryan realized what he was doing, he had flinched back physically, both arms wrapping around his chest as if he was building an actual barrier.

“I can’t give you my soul,” he told him quietly. “You know that. Everything, I’d give you everything but this is the one thing I can’t give you.”

“It’s not yours to give anyway,” Kyle yawned. “At this point, you’re so deep in, if I wanted your soul, I’d have to ask Shane for it.”

Ryan flinched again, his head instinctively turning towards the door leading out to the corridors of the house.

“You’re sure they can’t hear us?” he asked again, sharply.

“Wow, you’re really scared for him, huh?” Kyle responded. “They can’t hear us. I’ve been sneaking around y’all for ages, they never noticed. Neither did you, by the way. It’s something of a speciality of mine.”

“Are you stalking me?” Ryan frowned.

Kyle just grinned eerily.

“Whatever. I don’t even care. If you can sneak in here, can you sneak Shane to me, too?”

Kyle, the fucking asshole, was giggling.

“Again - for the right payment…”

“He’s not going to give you my soul,” Ryan snapped.

“So no,” Kyle responded cheerily, apparently completely unbothered by his anger.

“So you really are just here to mock me. Great,” Ryan let himself fall back onto the floor, rage and hopelessness threatening to overtake him. He refused to cry in front of this bastard, though, so he pressed both lips together and stared at a point at the ceiling.

“Aw, now don’t be like that,” Kyle sighed.

Ryan didn’t respond.

“Do you know how an angel dies, Ryan Bergara?”

Ryan’s brown eyes flickered back to Kyle, confused out of his misery. “I’m close to finding out,” he growled.

Kyle threw his head back and laughed. Ryan felt so painfully reminded of Shane for a moment that his heart clenched.

“Oh, you’re far from dead, little angel. You’ve still got fire .”

“I’m Shane’s. I owe it to him to come back to him. No matter how long it takes,” he muttered, more to himself than to Kyle, but the demon heard him anyway.

“Actually, from that lovely little rune in your even lovelier eyes, I’m pretty sure that your soul is still firmly with him - and oh, do they hate that. Like I said - Cleanses are temporary. A demon can return to a cleansed house and a cleansed soul can return to its demon. You don’t owe him anything besides the soul he was promised.”

“You fucking supernatural bastards,” Ryan rolled his eyes as he sat back up swiftly. “You and the angels, if you ask me, you’re all the same. So far removed from humanity, the easiest concepts are foreign to you. I’m not talking about a contract, I’m not talking about my soul , I am saying that I love him. And he loves me. And I’m going to find a way back to him - with or without your help.”

“Gross,” Kyle said immediately. “But fine. So do you, then, Ryan?”

Ryan blinked. “Do I what?”

Kyle smiled at him. This one almost reached his pretty brown eyes.

“You’re thinking too much with your human side, kid. It’s nice for sentiments such as love, I’m sure, very honorable, but you’re an angel. So it’s time to think like an angel.” He winked. “Michael sure isn’t above it. Actually, Michael might not be above anything. He’s a bit pathetic, isn’t he?”

“They all are,” Ryan muttered. “I’d rather not think like them if I can avoid it.”

“Ah, but there’s your mistake, little angel,” Kyle said, as he got to his feet, stretching his legs as if he’d been sitting for too long. Everything the guy did just had to be so damn theatrical. “Because currently, the angels are the most successful party in this game.”

“Can’t you just say what you mean?” Ryan snapped. “Just once?”

“No.” Kyle’s grin turned sharp at the edges. “Because if I did, you’d have to pay me. Be glad for the things I do say - everything you need is in there.” He rolled his eyes. “They’re coming inside. Pouff I go.”

And with an actual pouff that Ryan was fairly sure he’d done just for show, Kyle was gone, leaving Ryan full with questions, but, weirdly, a tiny spark of hope.

Seeing Ryan again for the first time in two years hit Shane like a punch to the gut.

He hadn’t been prepared for it, was the thing. He’d been hanging out with Scott in New York and was out waiting for an Uber, like a person pretending to have a life, and suddenly there was Ryan. Well, first, there were angels, three of them, and he hadn’t even noticed them coming out of the car, he had stood with their backs to all of them, until one of them had brushed him in passing.

Shane turned to say sorry, like a Midwestener does.

The Seraph turned to scowl at him. Shane recognized him in the break of a second, eyes wandering up to the other two, and finally to Ryan, who stood perched between them, looking pale, but real. For the first time in years, he stood here, in front of Shane, and it almost took the air out of his lungs. But Ryan’s eyes were apprehensive, pleading with him for just a second, before they turned completely empty.

“Can we go now, it’s freezing cold,” Ryan said, pointedly looking at the angels instead of Shane.

And Shane knew. He knew this was for worry for his own safety, but it almost killed him regardless. Every fibre of his being was urging him to reach out and take back what was his, wrap Ryan into his arms and never, ever let him go again.

He saw the Seraph who had touched him exchange a look with the other two, and understood immediately. Fucking angels and their fucking demon sensors.

“Hello?” Ryan asked, and Shane had to give him credit, he hid that tremble of his voice well. Probably well enough to fool everyone but Shane. Never Shane, though. “Earth to Daniel? Can we go?”

The Seraph that was apparently Daniel was still standing frozen on the spot, not paying Ryan any mind and instead staring at Shane, hands balled into fists.

“Daniel,” the tallest angel said. “We’re leaving.”

“But-” Daniel hissed.

“We’re in public,” the third angel reminded him.

Shane looked around. There were people passing, cars racing by, no one paying them much mind, yet they were the only reason he was still alive, he knew.

“Yeah, let’s go,” Ryan said. “People are staring.”

They really weren’t.

He did his little best, ushering the angels away. Away from Shane, even if it meant leaving him. Shane barely caught it, and the angry angels sure didn’t - his tiny, lost look back at him.

Shane opened his mouth, wanted to mouth something like “I love you”, but the words got lost on the way out. What came out instead, was a loud, very audible, “fucking poultry bar”.

A few things happened in quick succession. Daniel tore himself away from the other two and raced towards Shane, hand glowing and outstretched to kill him.

Shane killed him first.

Ryan made a single aborted move to step between them, then caught himself and remained frozen in spot, hands clenched into fists as he watched Shane tear his hand through the angel’s chest and rip his heart out with his bare fingers.

Shane’s lips twitched. It had been a while since he’d had a really satisfying kill, and even longer since he’d tasted a Seraph’s blood. He immediately felt high off it. His eyes found Ryan on their own, dangerous, he knew, but he could probably get away with it being a threatening look. Maybe.

It was just such a delicious rush, to see the sudden heat back in those brown eyes, dilated pupils, sheer devotion, all focused on him. These eyes he knew so well had seemed so empty lately, but they weren’t now, oh no, and it was all for Shane.

“Anyone else?” asked Shane and devoured the heart with one little throw into his mouth like a popcorn kernel, grinning widely as the dead angel’s energy rushed through him. Ah. He’d missed this.

One of the remaining angels was raging, sobbing angrily as he tried to rush towards Shane, but the large angel was holding him back.

“Do you want to be next?” he hissed. “He ate his heart, he’d just kill you too.”

Shane would love to, truthfully. But even with Daniel’s energy absorbed, two against one was still a gamble. The only reason he’d taken down that idiot was because he’d rushed at him and Shane had quick reflexes and the element of surprise on his side.

Still. One of those fuckers down. Nice.

“But- Daniel-”

“Daniel was a stubborn fool! He should’ve listened to me, but he never could get his temperament in check. Now see where it got him. Do you want to be the next one to have to learn the hard way?”

Shane got bored of the display and watched Ryan instead. Ryan, who was still staring at him, then at the angel at his feet, then back to Shane’s bloody hand. If he hadn’t seen him be turned on just a couple seconds ago, he’d have bet he was scared.

“Can we please just go?” Ryan asked again, his voice tiny and shaking.

He’d never been a good actor, not to Shane. He could always see through him. Like right now. The two angels though, they turned to Ryan, the smaller one finally calming at his (badly faked) anxious demeanor.

“At least you learned something then,” the large angel snorted. “Finally learned not to fuck with demons, did you?”

Shane was pretty sure fucking with demons was on the forefront of Ryan’s mind right now, and had to hide his laugh as a cough.

Ryan gave him the shortest of side glares.

“Please,” he said, putting it on thickly now. “I don’t want to die.”

God, Shane missed him. He missed him so achingly. The short glimpse, without a way to touch him, to hold him, to own him, it was almost worse than the past two years of pining. By every demonic right, Ryan was his, but here he was, walking away from him with barely more than a few glances. Not a single word spoken between them.

Shane wanted to fucking kill them so badly, but he knew if he died, they’d both be ruined. They had to be patient. They had to believe they’d find a way eventually.

And so he watched Ryan leave with the remaining two angels. They looked downtrodden and upset, except for the larger one, the one that radiated raw power. He kept looking over his shoulder, keeping an eye on Shane until they were out of reach, and the angry gleam in his two different eyes left no doubt that this fight wasn’t over.

Well.

It sure as hell wasn’t.

“I want you to show me how to defend myself from demons,” Ryan told them the moment they got home.

Michael and Gabriel exchanged another one of their looks, but Ryan was done with being judged and talked over.

“Listen, he was dead so fast… And he was so much more powerful than I am. What am I ever supposed to do when I get attacked and you’re not there?” He saw their stony masks crumble and lay it on a little thicker. “What if he- what if he comes for me?” he finally whispered. “Kills me for taking my soul from him?”

Ryan never had, of course, not really, and Shane would never kill him even if he did, and he could not be less afraid than he was right now, but they didn’t need to know that.

No, all they needed to do, in fact, was teach him how to do that thing Daniel had done. Or Shane. Because he’d seen it swirl around the claws, the darkness that had pierced through Daniel’s chest like butter, and he was pretty sure that Daniel’s glowing hand had meant to do the exact same thing.

Kyle’s words still rung through his head, finally making sense.

How did you kill an angel? Ryan wasn’t an expert, but he suspected the two methods differed only in target and executioner.

“Finally got it, did you?” Michael said. “The danger you’re in? All it took was that idiot to die in front of you?”

“Don’t speak ill of the dead,” Gabriel spat. “He doesn’t deserve that.”

“He died like an idiot, so I shall call him one,” Michael hissed back.

“Oh, stop bitching and teach me. Be useful for once in your lives, why don’t you?”

Michael sighed. “You do it,” he told Gabriel. “You were so eager to step into Daniel’s footsteps, after all.”

Michael walked off, sitting down on the sofa with that stony “leave me alone” face he had on so often. Gabriel stared at him, hands clenched in anger and a grimace on his face, but when he turned to Ryan, his face softened.

“Go to bed,” he told him. “We’ll start tomorrow.”

That night, Ryan dreamed of Shane. He usually did. Blinding lights, of his soul being torn from him, the horrific pain of being cleansed, his entire life being ripped out of his hands as he was kidnapped by the three most boring, hollow beings he had ever had the misfortune to encounter, all of that showed up in his dreams and all of that was usually interrupted and healed by dream Shane’s presence.

This time was different. Because there was Shane, on top of him, lips bloody from a dead angel’s heart, kissing him, rutting against him and Ryan couldn’t remember the last time he’d been this painfully hard. He jutted up against Shane’s body, pleading, whimpering for him. If Shane had wanted to tear his heart out and eat it, Ryan would’ve probably let him. Hell, he’d have thanked him.

He didn’t, but he still spread his lips to a fanged, gorgeous grin - the view making Ryan’s pining old heart beat a little faster - seemingly knowing exactly what Ryan was thinking. Which made sense, considering he was a construct of his own mind.

“You’re one kinky fucker, you know that, right?” Shane asked and kissed him again before Ryan could even answer.

“I’ve got the gist of it when I gave my soul away and it turned into the hottest thing I’ve ever done,” Ryan replied dryly. “But it’s also not my fault I’ve never seen anything hotter than you ripping that asshole’s heart out.”

Shane blinked at him, looking surprised for a moment, almost shocked even, but Ryan was too heady to pay a lot of attention to it, feeling giddy and elated from it all.

God, he missed this. Missed Shane. Missed just bantering with him. This dream version of Shane was still rolling his hips, but the frantic pace had slowed now, like he wanted to take his time. Ryan didn’t mind. He met him halfway, arching his back against the mattress, just enjoying the sensation of feeling him close, of having any friction at all, after so long on his own.

“God,” Shane huffed. “I wish I could just… take you home. I’m so tired of missing you.”

Ryan blinked at him through the fog of arousal, stunned for a moment.

“Are you… real?” he finally asked.

He felt immediately stupid. Wasn’t that like the one thing you weren’t supposed to ask in a dream? But this Shane seemed so real. The sex, the banter, the soft yet hungry kisses, the lingering sensation and yearning between them…

“As real as it gets in here.” Shane raised a fist and rapped it against Ryan’s temples gently.

“That’s such a non-answer, you have to be the real Shane,” Ryan replied dryly and dream Shane (maybe sorta real Shane?) snorted.

“If you’re asking me if I can sneak into your dreams, all the way from LA to you, then yes, I can, and yes, I do,” Shane panted. “But, usually, they’re not as- usually you just cry and I hold you until you…- Fuck is this a bad time to tell you I’m close?”

In a split decision, Ryan gripped both their cocks between them with both hands and jerked them off together, hot skin meeting with perfect friction. Shane let his eyes fall closed for just a moment, then came only seconds before Ryan, his little groan sounding so much realer than any of the horrors Ryan had lived through the past two years.

“If this is you,” he told Shane, while wrapping his arms around him, pulling him close against him, enjoying the feeling of the heavy weight on top of him, making him feel perfectly trapped. “If this is you, then know I’m coming back to you. I’ve got a plan.”

“Be careful, Ry,” Shane said and his voice was so soft, even through the post-sloppy sex sleepiness, it was hard to take him for anything but the real thing. “They’re really powerful.”

“And I am really determined to come home,” Ryan said. “Where I belong. To you.” He kissed the corners of Shane’s lips, just enjoying knowing that he could . “If that means I have to kill every fucking Seraph walking this Earth, then I will.”

He felt the perfect warmth of Shane’s arms fade away and he wished he could stop it, but there was nothing he could do. One moment he was perfectly content, the next he was alone in his empty bed, with nothing but his own dried cum to keep him company.

When Shane woke up, Ryan was gone, leaving him feeling robbed and abandoned. Leaving Ryan’s dreams was never easy, but that one had been by far the worst. They’d properly been able to talk. For the first time in so long.

He blinked, trying not to cry, his face turned to the ceiling.

I’ll come back to you , he’d said.

Shane just had to believe him. And it was hard not to, really, when he knew just how stubbornly dedicated and determined Ryan was.

He sighed, rubbed his eyes and turned to the side, wondering if he could catch some more sleep, could maybe find back to Ryan if he had turned around and decided to keep sleeping too. That’s when he spotted it, lying on the pillow next to him - Ryan’s pillow - almost innocently, if it wasn’t for its very nature.

A single black feather.

“It’s not that hard. The crux is to control your emotions, and to guide them through your powers, manifest them. You keep failing, because you keep focusing on the wrong emotions.”

“What would you know about how I feel?” Ryan asked, but he breathed heavily through his nose, trying to sludge his way through the wasteland the Seraphim’s cleansing had left in him. How was he supposed to channel his emotions when he barely knew how to feel anymore? For so long he’d buried himself in a protective layer of ice, letting the numbness paralyze him.

“I know how you’re not feeling,” Gabriel muttered. “Because otherwise this would work. We’re different from demons in many aspects, but this one is important - where a demon lets anger guide their hand, ours is guided by the urge to bring justice. So let your anger fade, until there’s nothing but righteous punishment leading you.”

What a load of self-important, sanctimonious bullshit.

Ryan fought down the urge to snort, his hand still outstretched the way Gabriel had showed him, and then tore his eyes wide open when it finally, finally started to glow.

“Now you’ve got it,” Gabriel said, smirking smugly. “Wasn’t so hard, was it?”

It wasn’t, actually. As Ryan stared down at his glowing hand, swishing it through the air a couple times, he found that actually, it was quite easy.

Anger, he found, worked pretty well for Ryan after all.

It wasn’t the biggest award show in the world, just a little youtube-centric ceremony that he usually wouldn’t have bothered showing up to, despite being nominated, but here Shane was, standing around a little round table with the Watcher crew, drumming the tips of his fingers against its surface nervously.

Ryan was on the other side of the room, pointedly not looking at him.

It had been risky, of course. Shane knew that coming here was risky. They shouldn’t be as much in the same room if they wanted to keep this farce up, he shouldn’t be anywhere near the remaining Seraphim after having killed one of them. There was no way in hell they wouldn’t recognize him the moment they spotted him. And there was no way on Earth that half of this room wouldn’t eventually make his connection to Ryan perfectly clear, when they all knew them as an inseparable duo.

But Shane had been physically unable to resist. And at least, he thought, he could count on these morons not killing him here, in front of all these people.

That might be his saving grace. (hah!)

In the end, all the hiding and keeping apart and not looking at him didn’t help Ryan any. The second Steven and Katie spotted him, they started waving and calling his name enthusiastically. Looking tense, with a smile on his lips that wasn’t reaching his eyes, Ryan walked up to them, Michael and Gabriel directly behind him, and hugged them shortly. He hesitated for the smallest of moments, then apparently decided he’d be more suspicious if he didn’t hug Shane and wrapped his arms around him too, and just like that, Shane knew he was lost.

He swore he could feel his entire body tremble as he closed his arms around Ryan, the force of his grip making both of them gasp quietly. Having Ryan in his dreams, that was one thing, but this was so entirely more intense than any dream they’d shared. This was Ryan, real and breathing, warm and solid, in his arms. This was Ryan, smelling like home. Those were Ryan’s fluffy locks of hair, tickling his nose. That was Ryan’s fastened heartbeat against his chest.

It was Ryan’s hot breath at his ears as he, with underlying panic in his words, whispered into Shane’s ear, “You shouldn’t have come here.”

No, he knew, he shouldn’t have. But right now, it was so, so hard to regret it.

Far too soon, it couldn’t have been more than seconds, pointedly keeping it as short as the other hugs he’d given in greetings, Ryan somehow managed to tear himself out of their embrace, giving everyone a strained wave before hurrying off.

He could feel and hear Gabriel and Michael right behind him, keeping up with his quick pace effortlessly.

“You’ve got some explaining to do,” Michael hissed, catching up with him in the quiet aisle leading to the toilets, face torn into an angry grimace as he grabbed Ryan’s shoulder and slammed him against the wall. “I suggest you make it a good one!”

“I don’t owe you any explanation,” Ryan spat, knowing full well he was incriminating them further. “They’re my friends. I know them from Buzzfeed. I told you, I wanted to defend myself- I-”

“He’s the demon who stole your soul, isn’t he?” Gabriel interrupted him with crossed arms, his lips pinched together in an obvious attempt to keep his anger at bay. For someone talking a lot about being better than demons, he sure carried a lot of hatred within him - go figure.

“I just wanted to learn-”

“You refused to tell us! All this time, you still- and your soul-” Michael seemed so angry, he couldn’t finish his sentences. “Why are you protecting him, even now?” he finally settled on one.

Ryan tried not to panic, and simply blurted out the first lie that came to his mind, hoping it would stick.

“Because what if you tried to kill him and he’d kill you like he killed Daniel?!” he asked. “What then? I’ll be alone and unprotected again and there’s nothing- nothing I could do.” He trembled - He didn’t have to act for that, he was terrified. As good as it had been, seeing Shane, touching Shane again, he wished he hadn’t come. He’d had a plan. He’d been practicing at nights and now Ryan was pretty sure he was able to take at least Gabriel down, as long as he got him alone. But now Shane was in danger, and there simply was no time .

Michael let go of his shoulder, and Ryan felt himself slump a little, relieved that the tight pressure was gone.

“You were protecting us?” he asked, voice soaked in suspicion.

Gabriel snorted, but said nothing. His arms were still crossed.

“I don’t want anyone else to die,” Ryan lied easily.

“This has to end. It’s too risky to take care of it here, but if you just tell us where he lives, it’ll all be over.”

“We should just fly after him tonight,” Gabriel suggested, still glaring at Ryan.

“Don’t be ridiculous, he’s a demon, he can port. He’s not going to risk us coming after him, he’s too smart for that.”

“We don’t know how smart he is,” Gabriel said through a pout. “So far, he was just cocky.”

Ryan bit back a whole bunch of remarks.

Michael hesitated.

“Fine,” he finally agreed. “I’m keeping an eye on him, you’re staying with Ryan. Don’t let him out of your sight even once, but I don’t want either of you near the demon. He’s strong - you remember what happened to Daniel, I assume?”

Gabriel grit his teeth but nodded.

Michael glanced at Ryan.

“Stick together - we’ll keep you safe.” With that, he was making his way out back into the crowds, towards Shane. All Ryan could do was hope Shane was staying under people’s protecting eyes and then safely porting home, the way Michael assumed he would.

What a fucking mess.

Still… Ryan glanced at Gabriel, who still looked utterly unhappy to be here. This was his chance.

“I know you’re protecting him,” Gabriel said when he caught his gaze. “I know you think this is true love or whatever bullshit he has you believe - but you’re being brainwashed. You’re just in too deep to notice.”

“Brainwashed,” Ryan repeated dryly. From the filled hall outside, he could hear excited chatter and music, the clinking of glasses. In this empty aisle though, there was only Ryan and his ringing ears, the numbness breaking open, making space for searing hot rage. Everything else suddenly felt far, far away.

“This is what giving your soul to a demon does,” Gabriel kept talking. “The longer it goes on, the deeper you slip into it, until you eventually think you chose this. That this is where you belong. But it’s not. And don’t think we don’t know - we know that your soul is his again. The only reason we didn’t cleanse you again is because Michael thinks it wouldn’t be any use. You’d just keep giving it to him - and he’d keep taking it.”

Ryan’s hands shook at the mention of the cleansing. An offhand, casual remark about doing it to him again, after the last one left him like this, broken and hollow and isolated and traumatized, after he’d writhed in pain and grief until he felt like he had his very essence spilled out on the streets for everyone to trample on, after he’d been physically torn out of Shane’s grip until he was in bloodied shreds and had gathered his last remaining strength to leave these shreds at Shane’s door like a consolation prize.

He felt heat run through his entire body, searing, horrific rage like he had never felt before.

“I’ve got to pee,” he said mechanically, his teeth gritted together to hold back the venom in his voice. “You’re coming too, I assume?”

“Naturally,” Gabriel snorted. “You heard him, I’m not to let you out of my sight.”

They slipped into the bathroom, and Ryan quickly, methodically, let his gaze wander over the three cabins inside, all empty. Good.

When he looked back up, he could feel Gabriel’s presence behind him, close enough to reach. He felt the anger inside of him, focused on it, let it fester for a moment, until it spread. Spread through his entire body like a heatwave, finally manifesting itself with a glow so bright, it wasn’t the weak little candlelight Gabriel had taught him. It was a fucking forest fire.

“What are you doing?” Gabriel asked sharply from somewhere behind him. Within a second, Ryan had whirled around, reaching out on pure instinct, and shot his hand with full force through the angel’s chest, pinning him to the nearest wall, his head smashing a mirror at the impact.

Ryan looked down, and saw his own hand disappear inside Gabriel’s chest. Felt the glibbery, slippery sensation of his heart between his fingers, pulsating disgustingly.

“Anger,” he told him, voice deceptively calm now that everything he wanted was in his grasp (literally). “Works actually pretty well for a fallen angel. Tested it for you. But I wouldn’t worry about your precious justice - you’re definitely getting exactly what you deserve.”

Gabriel’s eyes widened, his mouth opening to release a single, wet little gurgle, a death-rattling of a dying bird, before Ryan tore his hand back out of his chest with full force, his hand still tightly grasped around the angel’s beating heart.

He stared down at it for a moment, even after Gabriel had sunken to the ground lifeless, the last flare of shock still written all over his pale face. For a long couple minutes, Ryan just stood there, staring at the heart in his open, trembling palm. Then he let it fall where it was, watched it bounce off the tiles, leaving a bloody smear in its wake.

“Ew,” he said.

He looked down. Gabriel’s wings were out - was this a Seraph thing? Did your wings come out when you died? He couldn’t remember when he’d spreaded them. It didn’t matter, Ryan supposed. He tore out one of his pearly white feathers and watched it stain red from the blood on his hands. With a weird feeling in his stomach, Ryan laid it down on the little sink in front of the smashed mirror and calmly washed his hands. Then he stepped over Gabriel’s lifeless body and back into the lively foyer, feather clutched in his hand, his steps knowing where to lead him even as his mind was beautifully, peacefully blank.

When he reached Shane, he didn’t stop. He didn’t need to. Shane spotted him immediately, looking concerned, then attentive, when Ryan brushed past him, his fingers wrapping around Shane’s hand just for the slightest of moments, going unnoticed by anyone but them, leaving behind only a single, bloodstained feather.

The moment Shane’s hand closed around the feather, he knew. He could still feel the blood on it, thickly and brimming with energy that was slowly draining from it. He strained his neck to look after Ryan, only to find the piercing set of two different eyes on him that belonged to one of the angels.

He rolled his own eyes, then excused himself to the bathroom, following the path he’d seen Ryan come from. In there, he found a tiny massacre. Sighing, Shane looked down at the dead Seraph, lying in a puddle of his own blood. What a waste.

He picked up the heart, sniffed it, grimaced, and then threw it back down, his own heart beating faster in quiet pride. Ryan… oh, he was done waiting, and so was Shane. And he’d left him a dead angel like a trophy, like a cat left a dead mouse for their owner. Lips twitching into a smirk, Shane snapped his fingers and summoned a tiny little demon fire, letting the entire body burn swiftly and efficiently into a pile of ashes.

A waste, yes, to have to burn up such a beautiful gift, but he couldn’t risk anyone discovering it. It was a miracle no one had, so far, actually.

Shane frowned.

Quite a miracle.

“Vicious, that little one,” a voice behind him said cheerfully and when Shane turned around, there stood…. Uhh… well, the pesky, smug little demon Ryan had been on a date with, once. Shane didn’t quite remember his name. Something with a K, right?

“Kai?” he asked.

“First time I met him, I knew something was off about him. But he was ever so sweet. All nervous and twitchy. Playing with him was such fun - now I’m kinda glad I didn’t end up like that poor fellow.”

He nodded towards the pile of ashes on the tiles between them.

“Of course… It seems like Ryan’s alliances are more of a concern for his own race than ours.” He winked.

“Keith?” Shane tried again.

The demon let out a theatrical sigh.

“You really should be nicer to me. I’m helping so much more than I’m being paid for.”

“He’s not paying you,” Shane immediately retorted, all lightheartedness gone from his tone, replaced by cold, hard bite.

“No, he made that perfectly clear,” Kevin(?) said with a roll of his eyes. “I’m doing this from the goodness of my heart.”

Shane snorted bitterly. “Excuse me while I laugh.”

Kenneth winked at him.

Shane stoically glared back.

Kade rolled his eyes.

“I’m serious. I like you guys. You’re sweet. Getting my lil demon heart all soft and shit.”

“I’ll believe you once hell freezes over,” Shane muttered. “What are you doing here anyway? Are you stalking us?”

“You and I both know that Hell isn’t a thing,” Kayden replied lightly, and Shane couldn’t help but notice that he was evading his other question.

Shane nodded.

“That should tell you something about the odds of me believing you, ever.”

But instead of quipping back, Kian was crooking his head, then sighed.

“I think it’s time you get out of here. Standing here alone with an angry archangel on the loose isn’t the wisest move, currently.”

“I’m not standing here alone,” Shane said calmly. “Where’s that bond of friendship gone to, that you just extended? That sure went out the window fast, huh?”

Finally, the demon turned serious, his face blanking, all fake cheeriness disappearing off it like a mask. “I can’t take Michael,” he said earnestly. “And neither can you. Get out of here.”

Shane hated that he was right.

Hand still grasped around the feather Ryan had given him, he wrapped himself in a shroud of darkness, preparing to let it swallow him and port him home. Just when the oversaturated bathroom lights around him disappeared, leaving only comforting, cool black, he swore he heard the demon’s voice call after him with a pouty tone, “oh and it’s Kyle , you fucking bastard.”

Michael was furious and Ryan soaked up every little second of it greedily. For the first time in a long time, he felt like he was the one in control. He held all the cards. He knew everything while Michael was left in the dark, trying to keep up. He was so close now. So close to going back home. So close to getting his life back. His family, his friends, Shane. All he had to do was play his cards right.

“What happened? It was the demon, wasn’t it? Shane? He killed him! And you’re still protecting him!”

Ryan said nothing, legs dangling over the side rest of his sofa, head thrown back to watch the ceiling instead of Michael. A picture of clear disinterest.

“I can’t believe I believed a single fucking word you said,” Michael hissed, apparently forgetting all about his precious purity in the face of Ryan’s betrayal.

Oh well.

He’d just have to get used to it.

“You sold him out. You sold him out when all he tried was to protect you!”

“I never asked to be protected,” Ryan told the ceiling, his tone sounding deceptively bored, when this was the most giddy he’d felt in years. “In fact, I asked all of you, several times, to let me have my life back.”

“Your life,” Michael spat. “You had no life! You were in the hands of a demon, withering away.”

Ryan jumped to his feet in a heartbeat, teeth bared at Michael.

“Withering away? You want to see me withering away? Just open your goddamn eyes, Michael! You took me, against my will, away from everyone I love. My parents, my family, my friends, my partner, my home. You trapped me in a stranger’s life and then you set up guards and let me sing like your little singing bird, perform in pointless fucking videos, pretending to have anything to say. I never asked for any of it! You wanted to protect me? From what? You’re worse than anything Shane has ever done to me.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about!” Michael was screaming so loud now, the walls were vibrating from the might of his voice, his anger physically radiating in pure power. “He took your soul! Your very being! You think that was a life?! We saved you!”

“I didn’t need saving!” Ryan yelled back and he felt it now, too. Power, burning, pure force, giving his voice more strength, mixing with the dangerous show of power Michael was letting slip. “I was perfectly happy then! I am miserable now!”

“So you just let him kill Gabriel? What is this, revenge?!”

“Justice,” Ryan spat. “And Shane didn’t kill Gabriel. I did.”

All the power filling the room died down so suddenly, Ryan got whiplash. Michael just stood there, staring at him, deflated.

“What?” he finally asked.

“I killed him,” Ryan repeated. “And I’m going to kill you too, if I have to. I don’t want to. I don’t know how. But I will. I want my life back. And I want Shane safe.”

All Michael did was stare at him.

“Please,” Ryan said, all anger slowly fading away, leaving him clearer than he’d been for years, having burned away all the protective layers around his heart, leaving him raw and aching. “Please just let me go back to him.”

He watched Michael blink, that unmoving face suddenly turning into a grimace.

“He won’t want you back!” he finally called out and Ryan felt himself physically flinch back. “Why would he want you back?”

“What- but he-”

“Why would he want you back now? You’re a murderer. A monster. All your purity is gone, your light extinguished. Everything that drew him to you- all your allure- you tainted it.”

“That’s not-”

“You think he loved you? Wait until he finds out what you are. What you did. He’ll drop you. You’re not what he wanted anymore. You’re ruined.”

“That’s a load of bullshit. What the hell are you- what is going on with you?” Ryan asked and he hated, hated that now of all times, his eyes were filling with tears. It wasn’t true. He knew it wasn’t true, couldn’t be true. “I did it for him! To get back to him! He knows that!”

“All he’ll see is a shattered butterfly. You were a pretty little thing to look at, and now you’re stained. Now you’re as corrupt as the rest of the world. Welcome to the depot of fallen angels.”

Ryan had heard Michael angry before, but never this hateful. All his words had such a venomous, disgusted note in them, it made him want to shrivel up and die. Trembling, Ryan turned around on the spot, practically ran into his bedroom, and slammed the door behind him.

The exhilarating high from earlier had completely dispersed, leaving him sobbing quietly into a pillow. The last thing he wanted was to give Michael the satisfaction of hearing him. He just lay there, weeping, and wishing Shane was here. Shane wouldn’t- he wouldn’t, would he? He wouldn’t care. He’d understand that Ryan had done it for him, right?

But what if Michael was right. If Shane would look at Ryan and not recognize him anymore, see a killer instead of his best friend and partner? What if Ryan had ruined his soul by killing, had made it mundane, had made it worthless, tainted, like Michael said? What then? What if Shane didn’t want him anymore? He couldn’t- he couldn’t imagine a whole life feeling like he did now, pining away in this empty shell of a home, waiting for something he’d never, ever get back.

God, fuck, all he wanted was Shane. All he wanted was to be in his arms, feel him surround him, feel him hold him, the way he had before, the way he still did in his dreams. Like he wanted him. Like he’d keep him forever. Like-

Pouff.

Ryan jumped up, eyes torn open as he looked around the suddenly darker room. He wasn’t- this was not- He tested the mattress beneath him and felt it softer to his touch. Next to him, there was the sound of even breathing - breathing he was so achingly familiar with, from all the times even before they ever got together, that they shared beds and hotel rooms and patches of floor in haunted houses. Breathing he’d recognize anywhere.

“Shane!” He climbed over the bed - Shane’s bed! - and grasped mindlessly to where he saw the outline of Shane’s body beneath his blanket, somehow getting a hold of his shoulder and shaking him roughly. “Shane!”

The breathing stuttered, then made space for a confused hum. “Whut?”

“Shane!” Ryan called again, and his whole being felt exhausted at the onslaught of emotions it had gone through today, but he couldn’t stop, not now, excitement pouring through his bloodstream.

“Ry- What the hell?” As his eyes got used to the unfamiliar dark of Shane’s bedroom, he saw him scramble to prop himself up on his elbows, looking at Ryan with wide, sleepy eyes. “Are you okay? Are you safe?”

“I’m- I’m yeah, I think- I mean. I’m not sure how I got here. I think I- I teleported? Can I teleport?”

“You… shouldn’t be able to?” Shane frowned. “Never heard of a Seraph who- fuck you’re actually, really here?”

He sat up fully, reaching out and Ryan could’ve purred at the feeling of those familiar, large hands on his face, pulling him in. With a relieved little sigh, Ryan let himself be pulled into Shane’s arms, resting his head on his shoulders, face buried in the crook of his neck. This was where he belonged, right here, soaked in Shane, held by Shane, smelling his familiar scent, coming home. After all this time, he felt the relief like a tidal wave, crashing through him.

“Hey, did you cry?” Shane asked after a little while, pulling Ryan’s face back up to look at him. “You cried,” he said darkly. “What happened? Did that Michael guy do something to you?”

Ryan hesitated.

“You-” He swallowed heavily, feeling faintly sick all of a sudden. “You still want me, right?”

Now that he could see Shane’s face clearer, he could see the concern etched on his face when he responded.

“Ryan, I will always want you.”

“You- you say that now, but maybe- if I-” He took a deep breath, trying to collect himself and failing miserably. “My soul, it’s still- you still have it, right?”

Shane let out a low growl. “ Yes . I’ve still got it because it’s mine .”

Something settled inside of Ryan, like a puzzle piece slipping into place. He sagged, all tension leaving his body, and let himself fall slightly against Shane, let him catch him and wrap him back into his arms.

“Okay,” he said, voice quiet. “Okay. Because Michael said-”

“What did he say? I swear, Ryan, he’s a dead man walking. I will-”

“He said you might not- that you might not want me anymore once you found out that I- that I killed. That my soul was tainted or whatever.”

Shane was quiet for a very long moment, leaving Ryan sniffling softly into his neck, before finally, he did something Ryan hadn’t expected at all.

He laughed, a wheezing, weak little sound that made his heart skip three beats. Fuck. God. He hadn’t heard this laugh in so long- holy shit. He could get high on the sound alone, so familiar, so missed.

“Ryan. I’m a demon. Corrupting souls is what I do. Corrupting an angel’s soul is kind of a wet demon dream. Why on Earth would I- are you kidding? I went home and jerked off like three times after I burned his body to shrivels.”

Oh.

Oh.

He gave it a good, healthy five seconds of thought. Michael wouldn’t notice he was gone for a while, at the very least. He usually left him alone in his bedroom until morning. Once he did realize, Michael wouldn’t have any trouble tracking Ryan down, he was under no illusions that he had some methods to find him (Ryan had tested it out often enough), but until then… Well.

He surged up towards Shane, clashing their lips together in a hungry, frenzied kiss that had their teeth clacking awkwardly for a couple seconds - he didn’t care. All he cared about was tasting Shane again, feeling that heat devouring him, feeling claimed. And Shane reacted immediately, pulling him flush against him, then rolling them over until he was on top of Ryan, weight heavy and delicious.

“Please, fuck, need you,” Ryan breathed out, barely coherent already. It had been so long and fuck it, if he didn’t need to get laid.

Shane smirked devilishly on top of him, letting his hips slowly grind against Ryan, the length of his erection against Ryan’s making him moan.

Oh, this was so much better than any dream could’ve been.

“Look at the needy little angel I caught myself,” he whispered, nibbling at Ryan’s lower lips with those fangs of his until he whimpered, grin growing impossibly at the sound. “Escaped his trap just to fly right back into it.”

“Never…” Ryan panted, “never wanted to leave.”

“Oh, I know, baby. Because you’re mine .” Shane nuzzled his neck, his shoulder, his collarbone, teeth grazing him every so often, making Ryan shiver as they scratched the tender skin. “They can steal you from me and lock you up all they want, but you’re never not mine.”

“What are you, demon or vampire?” Ryan breathed out, hips rutting upwards to search for friction. “Just fuck me, man, I don’t know how long we even- how the fuck am I supposed to get back?”

Shane growled somewhere low in his throat, the sound reverberating against Ryan’s skin and making him shiver. Immediately, Shane’s hips crashed down on him, keeping him in place, pinning him to the bed with surprising strength.

“You’re not going anywhere,” he snapped, and Ryan immediately felt himself grow boneless beneath him, writhing uselessly. There was barely any space to move, any leverage to escape the weight of Shane pinning him down - and it was so fucking hot he could scream.

“No. No, I won’t. I don’t want to. Please…”

He wasn’t even sure what he was begging for. The last thing he wanted was to lead Michael straight to Shane, but he couldn’t think about it right now, could only think about Shane hard and unyielding on top of him. He’d waited for so long… could it really be wrong to indulge, just once? Didn’t they deserve a fucking break? God.

A part of him, Ryan was pretty sure, maybe even the biggest part of him, was simply begging for Shane to not let him go again. Take away the decision from him, take care of everything, trap him here until they both either died together or somehow evaded the threat. Hell, if it guaranteed Shane’s safety, Ryan was content to just be chained to his bed and never leave the apartment again. It wouldn’t. He wouldn’t. And maybe it was fucked up that the image made him moan out loud, but he was so far beyond caring now.

From somewhere, Shane had produced lube. Too caught up in his own thoughts, Ryan hadn’t even noticed until he felt cool hands sneak into his boxers, lubed up fingers prodding at his hole.

“Oh God, please. Please.” He pushed back against Shane, trying to take him in and Shane chuckled against him, peppering the underside of his jaw with kisses.

“Patience, you’re making this harder than it is with your eagerness.”

“Really can’t help it,” Ryan grumbled. “It’s been ages.”

“Don’t I know it.” Shane pulled at his pants, lifting his body off Ryan’s just enough for him to wriggle out of them, then crashed back down on him hungrily the second he was naked. Ryan could feel his hard cock through Shane’s boxers and let out a stuttering moan.

“Please, please show me,” he begged, voice hoarse and heavy from wanting. “Please just show me that I’m yours. Make me forget everything else. Please. I need you.”

Shane groaned on top of him, wriggling out of his boxers in record speed. Ryan felt the hot, wet drag of his cock against his ass, swallowing hard.

“Always so perfect for me, my beautiful pinned butterfly.”

But the memory of Michael calling him a shattered butterfly suddenly made Ryan tense against Shane, who was literally knuckles deep inside of Ryan and pulled back with a raise of an eyebrow.

“What is it?” he asked, voice low. Dangerous.

“Nothing just- don’t call me that. Please.”

Shane frowned.

“Why?”

“It’s nothing. It’s just- Can we just keep going? Please. I don’t want to- I don’t want to think.”

Shane pushed inside of him again, fingering him open with surprisingly gentle thrusts. He leaned over Ryan, kissing him, lips warm and soft against him, with none of the hungry fervor from earlier.

“Ryan,” he murmured against his lips, speaking his name like a prayer. “I love you, you know that, yeah? Same old Shane, madly in love with you. Down with whatever you wanna do. Going wherever you’re going. A billion un-haunted houses, falling apart literally on top of me, I don’t care. I’ll be there.”

Ryan swallowed down a sob.

“No, I- I know. It’s just been so long and he got under my skin, I think.”

“Clearly,” Shane breathed, kissing him again. “But we’ll be alright, Ry.”

Ryan wanted to answer, but Shane twisted his hand just so and the words turned into a moan halfway out of his throat instead, the sound filling the breathless silence between them loudly.

“God. Fuck. Please. I’m ready.”

“Really need you to stop invoking God,” Shane grinned, kissing the corner of his lips before pulling back. Ryan felt the tip of his cock prodding at his hole and could’ve cried out in relief. This. This was what he had been craving for so long, it was hard to describe the surge of emotions that welled up at the promise of it. “Old geezer isn’t real but if he was, he wouldn’t be coming to help you.”

With those words, Shane pushed inside, leaving Ryan gasping for air for a moment. Shane slipping inside him so effortlessly, so familiarly as if he’d never been gone, as if he owned the place (hah, he did!), it seemed to tug at something inside of Ryan, recalibrate and re-center him.

Calm settled over Ryan, the desperation and grief falling off him like old skin, like five layers of ice that had surrounded him, and he smiled.

“Good,” he told Shane, as he slowly, finally, came fully alight and alive beneath him. “I’m kinda done getting help I never asked for. The whole world can forget me, as long as it means I get to stay right here.”

Shane shivered on top of him, another groan slipping from him.

“There you are,” he breathed, voice awed and his eyes aglow.

“Here I am,” Ryan grinned. “So do something about it, will you, big guy?”

Laughing, Shane stole another kiss from him, then finally, finally started moving, every thrust designed to drive home, hard and fast and so, so good. Ryan lifted his legs, wrapping them around his hips, trying to pull him in, finding himself wishing he’d never leave again. He rested his hands on Shane’s shoulder blades, felt them shift beneath each thrust, then twirled the fingers through the hair at the nape of Shane’s neck.

Home.

He was home. He was home and the world had shifted back into axis, his soul was where it belonged, and so was Ryan and everything, everything would be okay as long as he just stayed. He wasn’t scared of Michael, not anymore, wasn’t scared of anything as long as Shane was inside of him.

“Deeper,” he croaked, voice heavy from suppressed emotion and Shane thrust in as deep as he managed, then paused, frowning above Ryan.

“Babe, if I go any deeper, I’ll come out the other side.”

“I- yeah. I just need- I don’t know. I need to feel you. It’s been so long and I’ve missed you and a part of me just really needs to feel… trapped right now. Is that weird?”

Shane rolled his eyes softly.

“The seraph who gave me his soul and dragged me into a million houses to look for ghosts asks if he’s being weird. Picture that.”

“Could you not try to be funny when you’re inside of me?” But Ryan was grinning, and apparently it was as contagious as ever, because Shane was grinning down at him in return.

“Hey, you trust me, right?” he suddenly asked.

Ryan didn’t even have to think about it.

“Of course I do.”

“Okay, I’m gonna try something. Don’t freak out, you’ll be okay, it’s just- maybe it helps.”

“Wha-” Ryan started but found he couldn’t finish the question. In fact, he couldn’t do anything. Suddenly it was as if he was drifting away inside his own body - as if he was drifting off to sleep, as if he was trying to run away in a dream, but the dream wasn’t letting him, all his limbs turning to pudding and his thoughts featherly light. No matter what Shane had said, he was going to freak out. But before he could, suddenly it was like his entire being was set alight by Shane.

Just Shane. Everywhere. Inside him, yes, but in more ways than one. Shane was in his mind, and he was on top of him, eyes pitchblack, horns and tail out now, keeping his gaze trapped. And then Ryan’s hand raised without his instructions, because Shane wanted it to, lifted up to his head for both of them to see, and waved awkwardly at Ryan’s dazed form.

Ryan wanted to ask him what was going on, but his mouth wasn’t working.

Shane? he thought, as hard as he could.

“You know what they say about demonic possession,” Ryan heard his own voice say. “It can happen to everyone.”

Holy shit.

“Not a whole lot holy about it,” Shane assured him, and his trademark chuckle through Ryan’s voice sounded off, strange in Ryan’s own ears.

And then Ryan felt his body rock against the sofa, under the force of Shane’s thrusts inside of him proceeding, harder and even more erratic than before now.

Ryan tried to move his eyes to look at Shane’s actual body, but couldn’t until Shane did it for him, let him watch Shane thrust into him ruthlessly while also being… inside of him.

Is it like… on autopilot now?

“Kinda. Demons don’t need a soul to survive. The only problem is, that it’s a bit tough to navigate two bodies at the same time,” Shane admitted through Ryan’s mouth. “So I’m letting my body run on demonic instinct alone right now.”

For a moment, Ryan felt overwhelmed from it, his head whirring.

“Shhh,” Shane made and suddenly his thoughts were dispersing, drifting off too far away for Ryan to grasp. Gone with the blink of an eye, until there was nothing but Shane. Shane taking him roughly, Shane filling him from the inside, Shane controlling his every move. He couldn’t do anything to stop the onslaught, and he didn’t want to.

He was well and truly trapped.

Ryan closed his eyes, and let himself drift, until he could do nothing but feel. His cock was weeping, almost painfully hard now, smearing pre-cum all over his stomach while Shane was panting like an animal on top of him.

“That’s right… don’t fight me, little angel. I can make you feel so good.”

Without having to do anything, there was his own hand grasping around, playing with his nipples, before reaching down, pumping him with firm, quick tugs to his cock and Ryan wanted to cry out from the delicious friction, but couldn’t. All he could do was lie back and let Shane take everything.

Shane on top of him growled, the sound more demonic than anything else he’d ever heard from him, an animalistic sort of vibration that seemed to resonate in Ryan’s whole soul and he came with a shudder that neither Ryan nor Shane could stop. Shane leaned over him, licking hot stripes of cum off his stomach and Ryan could’ve sworn his tongue was forked for a moment, but then lost that track of that thought along with the rest of them, as Shane made some last frantic thrusts, then came inside of him.

For a moment, they stayed like that. Ryan trapped between two Shane’s, one in his very soul and one on top of him, having heavily dropped onto his body, nibbling at his ear with his face buried in the crook of his neck. If those were Shane’s demonic instincts, then he had to say, right now, he reminded Ryan more of a very clingy golden retriever.

Through his mouth, he heard Shane snort.

“What can I say, every bit of me is enamoured with you.”

And just like that, Ryan was pulled back into his own body like there was an anchor tied to his metaphorical soul feet (or whatever), the switch sudden and unexpected. Shane on top of him raised his head, blinked once, twice, then his black eyes turned back to his familiar warm brown, and he grinned up at Ryan.

“You okay?”

Ryan opened his mouth, and found that it worked as intended again.

“That was fucking intense,” he managed to get out. “It was perfect.”

Happily, Shane kissed the corner of his lips, then slowly pulled out of him, grimacing at the mess immediately leaking out of Ryan.

“Shower?” he asked.

“Gimme a minute, I feel like my legs are made of jello.”

Shane shrugged and leaned back down over Ryan, letting his mouth wander up and down his chest, leaving little kisses and bites wherever he went, apparently just happy to get to. Ryan could relate. After the last couple years, it felt absolutely dizzying to have so much of Shane again, the reality of it only slowly sinking back in.

It had helped though. Feeling Shane like this, it had made one thing finally crystal clear - Ryan really was not going to go back.

If Michael tracked them down, then they’d either fight and win or die together.

“How the hell did I get here, Shane?” he asked tiredly. “Seraphim can’t port, right? The others never could, I’m pretty sure.”

If they could, Michael would probably already be here.

Shane sat up on his thighs, lazy kisses replaced with a frown.

“As far as I know, no. Y’all got the whole wings thing going on, you fly, we port.”

Ryan looked at him quietly for a moment, trying to make sense of it.

“So what do we do?” he finally sighed. “This is weird, right?”

“I’m not sure. I say we shower, because if we’re gonna get attacked, you might have to die with my cum leaking from your ass and that’s just undignified.”

Ryan snorted. “I think it’d be fitting.”

“I might be able to fight back and then slip all over it, fall and break my neck before that Michael guy even takes a swing, is that what you want?”

“No,” Ryan sighed and finally made himself roll out of Shane’s bed. “Though, you know you’re not going to fight alone, right?”

He wobbled to his feet and Shane was there in a heartbeat, steadying him, then taking his hand to lead him outside, squeezing it just once.

“I know. We’re in this together. Package deal. Ride or die, baby.”

Ryan turned his head to grin at him.

“Ride sounds good, actually.”

The laugh Shane let out in response was shaky.

“I’ve caught myself a sex fiend,” he finally mumbled. “How am I ever going to get through this shower?”

Ryan laughed all the way to the shower, and then got on his knees beneath the soothing hot stream of water, showing Shane just how to get through it in the best possible way, in Ryan’s own humble opinion. If they were going to die, then fuck, he was going to make the most of these few precious moments with Shane he had apparently stolen from the universe.

They spent most of the day like this. Both tired from a sleepless night, they stayed in bed, napped and fucked, the only time they got up was to clean themselves up and feed Obi, who was glaring at Ryan until he sneezed and then ran off to eat, apparently satisfied.

Ryan, by now, was convinced that Obi was a demon too and this cat allergy thing was all just an elaborate revenge plot - because how the fuck could a Seraph even be allergic to cats?!

“He’s missed you,” Shane insisted. “And you also got the flu like five times since I’ve met you, so what are you even talking about?”

“He was probably happy to be rid of me,” Ryan mumbled.

But when they ordered dinner in and Ryan stood behind Shane to open the door (they decided to not do that on their own for as long as they didn’t know where Michael was), Obi brushed against his ankle, tail wrapping around his leg, and Ryan got flashes of his thoughts that didn’t make a whole lot of sense but left him with the vague feeling that, yeah, Obi had actually missed him.

He picked the little orange devil up while Shane tipped the pizza delivery man, kissed him smack on top of his head and got clawed at immediately, before Obi gracefully jumped out of his arms and disappeared somewhere in the apartment.

Shane grinned and Ryan couldn’t help but grin back at him, feeling lighter than he had in years.

And then the delivery guy got smashed against the wall, head hitting it so hard they could actually hear his skull crack, and fell to the ground with a smear of blood following him down, heavily contrasting the white paint of Shane’s door frame. And in his place stood Michael, face drawn into an angry grimace, his wings spread and entire body glowing violently golden.

Shane reacted immediately, pulling Ryan behind him and collecting his powers, his dark aura spreading around them, competing with Michael’s glaring one.

“You,” Michael spat. “I’ve got a score to settle with you.”

“I thought maybe you’d know better, after your losing streak,” Shane said and he sounded deceptively calm, but Ryan knew him better than this, could see the tension in his shoulders, could feel the worry radiating off him. Slowly, he, stepped around Shane’s outstretched arm holding him in place and stepped to his side instead, taking his hand.

“Package deal,” he reminded him, lips barely moving as they both didn’t take their eyes off Michael.

Shane squeezed his hand silently.

“How did you get here?” Michael spat.

Ryan got the vague sense that he should be afraid, but right now, looking at the angry, jaded version of Michael, so thoroughly out of control, he didn’t have it in him. This man was clearly haunted. His hair looked like he had torn at it. His eyes, one green and slightly chipped, the other blue, gave him a weird, manic touch, as he frantically searched the apartment behind them for traps or whatever magic Ryan had used to find his way to Shane.

“Well, looks like I’m a lot more powerful than you thought I was,” Ryan bluffed. “I wouldn’t fuck with me if I was you.”

Michael snorted and even that sounded weirdly hollow.

“What happened to you?” Ryan asked, completely struck by how this powerful, always composed archangel had turned into a derailed, twisted version of himself. “Why do you even care? You don’t even like me.”

“Why should you have this!” Michael suddenly screamed at him, the sudden sound so unexpected, Ryan felt himself immediately jump into Shane. He felt his tail sneak around his leg, oddly comforting, and Michael must’ve seen it too, because with another scream, he lunged at them.

… Only to be pulled back like on a rubber band stretched too far, stumbling back into the hallway.

“What the-” he yelled. “How?!”

Ryan glanced at Shane, who looked just as confused as he felt.

“That’s not us, man,” he told Michael.

“You- You repugnant, petulant little- All I did was protect you! And you killed them off and then you ran straight back to him and now you’re going to suffer like I suffered! You’re going to be just as alone. I’ll kill him and then I’m going to watch that light go out of your eyes, you won’t laugh at me then, you absolute-”

“God, you really like the sound of your own voice, don’t you?” Shane said and Ryan could practically hear the roll of his eyes in his voice. “So fucking fight me, then. So far, all I’ve seen you do is pathetically foam at the mouth at seeing two people happier than you.”

“Fine! You think your puny little barrier will stop me? It won’t!”

“I didn’t even set up a-”

But Michael had already started attacking what was apparently a barrier, glaring golden beams of light crashing against it again and again, the force of them making the hairs on Ryan’s arms stand up, but doing …. exactly nothing.

“- barrier,” Shane finished, as soon as the onslaught was over, Michael standing panting and fuming right where he had started off.

“What the fuck is going on?” Ryan asked.

“Why!” Michael yelled and Ryan was pretty sure if they survived this, Shane and he were going to have to move apartments, because fuck, what would their neighbours think? “This isn’t fair! None of it is fair!”

And suddenly it clicked. Michael’s hatred for demons, his insistence to keep Ryan from Shane, the way he lost his cool and told him that Shane wasn’t going to take him back, and this unhinged state, it all made sense.

He took a deep breath. This could either save them or give Michael the power to break this barrier and kill them off for good.

“Killing Shane isn’t going to bring him back to you, you know that, right?”

Michael froze on the spot, and for a short moment, there was nothing but devastated desperation in those eyes Ryan had come to despise so much. If he hadn’t held Ryan hostage over his own fucked up hurt ego for two years, he would almost have it in him to pity him.

Losing Shane had almost driven him into madness too.

“Nothing is,” Michael said and all fury had evaporated from his tone. Ryan knew he had made a mistake the moment he heard that scaringly calm tone. “And you’ll soon know what that’s like.”

He lunged at them again and Ryan knew, this time there was no barrier saving them. He grasped Shane’s arm, ready to try and pull him aside, but before Michael could reach them, he collided with… something dark, something that wasn’t Shane’s, and was crashing against the wall of Shane’s hallway, wings pinned to it by an invisible force. He writhed beneath it, fighting it with all his power and Ryan suddenly felt so reminded of what happened to him two years ago, of the moments he relived in his dreams again and again, he had to look away, hide his face in Shane’s shoulder, feel him close to him.

“That’s enough!” someone yelled and Michael stilled suddenly, whatever force holding him letting him go, and he sunk to the floor.

Shane groaned. “Someone care to explain to me when my apartment became public domain?”

Ryan turned his head, blinking an eye open and finding that there, in Shane’s hallway, stood…

“Kyle?!”

“No really, this isn’t a train station, you know? I have a rescue cat here, he’s been through enough.” Shane glanced at Ryan. “And also Obi.”

“I really don’t know what you see in him, love,” Kyle said with a grin over his shoulder to Ryan, his back turned to them in favor of facing Michael. “He’s a bit of a bore, if you ask me.”

“Shut up,” Ryan said, but he was grinning. “Did you save us?” And then another thought came to him. “Wait, did you port me here?”

“No love, that couldn’t have been me, because then you’d have to pay me,” Kyle responded so swiftly, Ryan was pretty sure he was lying. “Must’ve been someone else. I’m just here to pick up what’s mine.”

Immediately, Shane’s grip around Ryan’s hand tightened, turning almost vice-like.

Kyle snorted.

“Relax. I don’t want your angel, cute as he is. I’ve got my own.”

He knelt down in front of Michael and only now could Ryan see the expression on the sunken angel’s face, his eyes suddenly full with more life than Ryan had ever seen in them, tears swimming inside as he unblinkingly regarded Kyle and- oh. Oh .

“You and Michael?” he asked, stunned. “What? I thought you had better taste than that, no offense.”

“You hear that, love?” Kyle asked Michael, and his words were as playful as ever,  but his tone suddenly so much gentler than Ryan had ever heard it. “Now you’ve brought shame over both of us.”

“You reject me and then you have the audacity to say I brought you shame.” If Michael was going for his usual composed, fierce tone, he was missing it by miles. He just sounded kinda watery.

“Seven hundred years, you stubborn old angel. Seven hundred years have I watched over you, only for you to sit here and tell me I don’t want you. I’ve seen what you’ve done to your eye, just to spite me. What you’ve done to these people. To your own family. To yourself. Have watched you turn into a man I barely recognize.”

“Seven hundred?” Ryan mouthed at Shane, who simply stared back at him stunned.

“You told me I was yours,” Michael said, his voice wavering and his hands clenched to fists, even as he sat on Shane’s parquet flooring like a little puddle of misery. His wings were literally drooping in front of Ryan’s eyes. “And then you threw me out with the trash. And you want to tell me I’ve changed? How could I not have?”

“You didn’t!” Ryan called out before he could stop himself. “You wouldn’t- you- what!”

Even Shane looked mildly offended.

“Oh, shush, all of you.” Kyle didn’t even turn around to them, just took Michael’s face between both his hands, looking at him intently.

“You idiot ! Never have I met anyone so intent on getting it all wrong. And then you spend seven hundred years collecting your own little demon-hating army to make sure I couldn’t get anywhere near you without getting killed.”

“And now every last one of them is dead. And these two will be next.” Michael attempted to jump up, but without any effort, just a single hand to his chest, Kyle made him sit down again.

“No, now you’ll finally listen to me, Michael.”

Michael pinched both his eyes shut, but sat.

“I don’t- I don’t want to hear it. If you’re here to tell me that you don’t know who I am anymore, that I’ve turned into a monster, then I already know. You made this. You turned me into this and now you’ll tell me that you could’ve loved me then but can’t anymore and-”

“I said listen !” Kyle thundered, his voice echoing off Shane’s walls and all of them flinched.

Michael fell quiet.

“I loved you then and I love you now,” Kyle told him, voice back to that gentle tone from earlier. “I wanted to set you free for your own good.”

Ryan let out an angry snort, and Shane stepped on his foot, holding a finger to his lips when Ryan glared at him.

“You were so distraught after you killed them. I didn’t want you to wake up one day and realize you’ve turned into a person you hate for me. Never have I- never could I have imagined that you’d take it so badly.”

Ryan opened his mouth to say something, but Shane stepped on his foot even harder.

“They forgot we’re here,” he mouthed at Ryan, who crossed his arms in front of his chest, sulking.

“I did that for you! For us! And you tossed me aside like a broken toy!”

“I didn’t- mean to. You didn’t give me any chance to explain. I’ve been watching you for all these years, trying to find an opportunity and you just never- God. Do you know how many of them I killed, just for you to find new ones? You couldn’t be stopped! You started a whole fucking war!”

“And whose fault is that?!” Michael yelled back.

“MINE! Do you think I don’t know that? I know that! I’ve been trying to fix it! I’ve been trying to fix my mess, I’ve been trying to fix yours because they’re also mine. Everything. Everything of yours is mine. Your sins, your spirals, your kills.” Kyle’s voice softened again, and a smile spread on his face, besotted and yearning. “I should’ve told you that all these years ago, instead of what I did. I’m sorry. That’s why I’m here. I’m so sorry. Please come home.”

He felt Shane’s eyes on him and glanced back. Shane wiggled his eyebrows in question. Ryan raised his hand and weighed it in the air for a moment, giving the whole speech a “so-so” score. They both had to suppress giggles.

“You mean that?” Michael asked, so stunned the anger seemed to fall off him. “After everything? You still want me?”

“You know I don’t lie to you. Never to you.” He held out his hand, and Ryan had never seen that demon so vulnerable. “Please, Michael. It’s enough. It has to be enough. All the people you dragged into your grief.” He pointed over his shoulder at Ryan and Shane with his free hand, giving a crooked smile. “I had to make that kid kill your friends to get anywhere near you, you know how humiliating that was?”

Shane turned to Ryan with raised eyebrows, and Ryan simply grinned at him. They’d actually have time now. An eternity of time. He’d tell him everything soon enough.

Michael let out a weird little breathing sound and it took a moment for it to sink in and then Ryan realized that this was, in fact, the first time in all the time he’d known him, that Ryan heard Michael laugh.

So much for his touching care for his friends.

“You have a lot of making up to do,” Michael finally said, but he took Kyle’s hand. Visibly relieved, Kyle stood up and pulled Michael to his feet with him.

“We’ll figure it out.”

He turned to Ryan and Shane, who were standing there like two perfect little angels (one more than the other), beaming at them brightly.

“Yeah yeah,” Kyle sighed. “Show is over. He won’t bother you ever again. I apologize for the trouble I caused you two.”

“Does that include your messed up idea of a tinder date?” Ryan asked and he couldn’t lie, he enjoyed it immensely when Michael immediately puffed his chest in outrage, wings rustling as he spread them.

“You went on a date with-”

“I was hungry !”

“Him of all people- I hate his stupid fucking-”

“Wow, he can curse,” Ryan said gleefully and Michael fell quiet immediately, looking caught out.

“I suppose I- owe you an apology,” he finally said, with so much reluctance in his voice that Ryan could feel Shane grow tense with anger next to him.

“Don’t hold your breath for my forgiveness, it’s not coming.”

“I- Urgh. Yes. Fine. Can we just leave ?”

“By all means,” Shane remarked dryly. “Our pizzas are getting cold. If you could take the delivery guy on the way out, that’d be great.”

Ryan shook with quiet laughter, burying his face in Shane’s shoulder again.

When he re-emerged, Kyle nodded towards him with a smirk on his face.

“You have a good one, there. Better take care of him.”

“Don’t worry, he’s not an idiot,” Ryan replied cheerfully. “He’s not gonna let me go, are you?”

Shane glanced at him and rolled his eyes.

“Actually, if my pepperoni is turning cold because you wanted to flirt with that idiot of a demon, I might just throw you out.”

Hah. Empty threats. Ryan simply stepped onto the tips of his toes and kissed Shane.

“Nope, you’re not.”

“They’re not flirting,” Michael grumbled.

Kyle sighed. “No, we’re not. But you helped me a great deal and I caused you a great deal of pain, so I consider myself in your debt. If you ever need demonic help,” he winked at Shane, “I’m your guy.”

“And how the hell am I supposed to find you?” asked Ryan. “Say your name three times in a mirror?”

“What’s his name again?” Shane asked with his eyebrows drawn together. “Kobe?”

“Well, swiping right on Tinder did the trick last time,” Kyle hissed at Shane. And when they finally disappeared from Shane’s apartment (with the pizza delivery guy), Ryan swore he could still hear Kyle cackle in the distance.

“He sure likes living dangerously,” Ryan mumbled. “Michael is going to kill him.”

“Eh, I think that’s just part of what he… loves about him?” Shane asked, looking a bit disgusted at the notion. “I can’t stand that guy, you’re aware of that, yeah?”

“He kind of brought us together,” Ryan reminded him. “If he hadn’t tried to eat my soul or whatever, I would’ve never ran to you for help.”

“And I guess he saved our ass today,” Shane sighed. "Still. He was absolutely flirting.”

“Hey, what can I say,” Ryan grinned, leaning up to him for another kiss. “I’m a cute guy. Very tasty soul. Very good references. Ten out of ten people would eat here again.”

“Nine out of ten people are dead if they ever try,” Shane growled and Ryan giggled.

“It’s over.”

“It’s over,” Shane confirmed with a nod of his head, then pulled Ryan into a tight hug. For a moment, the two of them just stood there, holding each other as tightly as they could, everything finally, finally sinking in. The years of separation, the loneliness, the yearning, the giddy feeling of being reunited and knowing that nothing, nothing was ever going to tear them apart again.

“If you ever set me free,” Ryan mumbled into his shoulder. “I’ll steal your soul in revenge.”

“Your soul is my soul,” Shane stated quietly and the sure, matter-of-fact statement of ownership made Ryan shiver contently in his arms, did so much more than any other assurance could’ve.

“Bedroom. Now. We’ll microwave the fucking pizza.”

Shane followed him obediently, grinning all the way back to bed.

“See,” he said as Ryan prepped himself somewhat sloppily to ride him. “Now that is a valid reason to let a perfectly fine pepperoni pizza go cold.”

They didn’t tell anyone that Ryan was back for two weeks. It felt like a honeymoon. Ryan just used the time to disappear from the face of the earth, spent them existing just for Shane and woke up day after day with the cracks in his soul slowly healing from his presence. He was excited to see his family again, his friends, work on videos with them all again, have projects that made him feel something again. But fuck. Right now, Shane was all he wanted and needed, just for a bit.

Shane figured out that Ryan slept best with him heavily on top of him, pinning him to the bed. Shane figured out that Ryan liked it when he stayed inside him until he’d fallen asleep.

In turn, Shane liked to just lie with his head in Ryan’s lap, letting him run his fingers through his hair and over his horns, while looking up to him, listening to him talk. Ryan talked for hours at a time sometimes, about everything and nothing, all the little moments they didn’t get to share, every agonizing bit of it, filling in the gaps, and Shane just listened. Once in a while, he’d crack a joke, bring light into the darkness of the memories, until they were one by one replaced by the soothing familiarity of laughing together.

When Ryan felt like they’d both gotten through the worst, he got ready to visit his parents and warm arms wrapped around him from behind as Shane kissed the back of his neck with a happy little sigh.

“You’re gonna have to let me go eventually,” Ryan said, but he didn’t actually mind, just sunk into the embrace with half his jacket on and let Shane hold him for a moment. “You know I’ll come back, yeah?”

“You came back to me when a raging mad archangel exorcised me from your soul and held you captive, I don’t really worry about that anymore, actually,” Shane grinned, kissing the spot beneath his ears.

“You’re being awfully clingy for someone who’s not worried,” Ryan grinned.

“Yeah. Well. I’m a creature of habit.” He played with one of Ryan’s locks. “Hey, do you think we should get married?” he asked, awfully casual for someone who just suggested marriage.

Ryan supposed once you’ve given someone your entire soul, marriage really wasn’t that big of a deal. They were basically married already. Without the possibility of a divorce. Hah.

“Uhh,” he made. “Like.. in a church? Because, not gonna lie, big guy, not a fan.”

Shane pulled a face.

“I mean… no, obviously not. But you being a fallen angel and me being a demon aside... I’m fairly sure they wouldn’t have let us do that anyway.”

Ryan grimaced. “Right. The gay thing.”

“Uh-huh,” Shane kissed him. “That. That tiny little thing you didn’t mention to me before going on a date with fucking-.”

“Shh,” Ryan grinned. “You don’t want to evoke him. There’s a mirror in this bedroom.”

“I wouldn’t worry about it, it’s not like I can remember his name. Plus, that’s not how any demon-” But he caught Ryan laughing at him and broke off, rolling his eyes. “That’s a yes then?”

“‘Course it is. But you better get me a proper ring, sir.”

“What?” Shane grinned. “Between the mark in your eye, your literal black wings and your soul being mine, you don’t have enough evidence on you that you’re mine?”

And Ryan wrapped both arms around his neck, grinning widely between kisses.

“Never.”