Chapter Text
The Hail Mary was always supposed to be a glorified rover. Sent into the stars to gather information and then self-destruct in whatever way the ‘rovers’ seemed fit. A last ditch effort to save the universe in exchange for a few faceless names. People that would be missed, but always praised for their sacrifices, their accomplishments. The people that would miss them would only do so with the additional comfort of those accomplishments. That their associate, their child, their friend, helped save the world. And maybe, from all the way up in deep space, they would be given the grace of looking down at all they have done and feel each string of love and affection tied to their heart.
Ryland Grace was not afforded this comfort.
But still, he was the one that survived. The one that was able to look down and see undone threads of hope linger, and the one that used those same threads to find a solution for all of mankind. To connect with the unfamiliar, and finally find his own source of comfort thousands of light years away from earth.
A comfort that seemed familiar, despite all of his memories adamantly pressing down on the idea. Stratt sent him for a reason, right? Grace had no immediate family. Not even a dog. So Grace found home within the unfamiliar. Within the soft musical notes and chittering of minerals against itself. He couldn’t have ever asked for anything more.
And now the rover that was sent off so long ago was now charting its own course, about a month away from Erid. Rockys, and soon to be Grace's home.
The travel had been difficult, his meals had officially degraded into disgusting coma slurry and he could see his ribs through his skin just barely poking out. Health was also declining alongside his limited food sources, if he had to guess it was probably scurvy considering how lacking his ‘delicious smoothies’ had been in vitamin C. Rocky was growing worried, but Grace could only find it in himself to feel a deep pride that he even made it this far. It was only a couple more weeks till Erid, and even if Grace died on ammonia filled shores, at least he could say he really lived.
Unfortunately Rocky didn’t see it that way, and was skittering around the Hail Mary trying to get everything prepared. While he worked on ideas and designs for Grace's new home, Grace was officially put on “pack all the stuff you need for Erid” duty. Exciting stuff. Go from saving the world, well multiple worlds, to moving crew. Cool.
Grace sat in the middle of all of the luggage, sorting through clothes that were worn and clothes that had never been touched. The line between those ended up being Rylands clothes, and the crew's clothes. It felt off to even try and wear those after the initial first months of the trip, like it was disrespectful to their memory or something.
His arms scooped up a pile of his own clothing, pouring it back into the duffle bag type thing that they had packed for him. It looked a little like his apartment back in San Francisco, and he was terrified at what other Eridians would say at the mess because Rocky was certainly used to it by now.
While he was combing through his stuff, there was a soft sound that caught his attention. It was barely audible against the soft grunts Grace let out to try and heave all his clothes into place- (really, when had this bag gotten this flipping heavy??) but it was there, and it made Grace turn his head.
There, on the ground next to his foot was the picture that was sent up to space with him. Him, standing in what he assumed was the main location of the project, a couple of weeks before launch. Grace had always found the picture a little silly, come on how, Yao gets heart felt pictures in which he somehow makes a different silly face in each- and Ilyukhina's legendary climb into the Kremlin, it really painted a picture of who his crew was. That they would have people that missed them.
And.. Grace got..
Huh.
Grace set down the clothes to grab the picture from off of the floor as an uncertainty crawled up his spine. When he had first discovered the photo, comparing it to his own face was really the last thing he was worried about. He hadn’t had time to look in an actual mirror either, so forgive him if he was getting something wrong but-
In the photo, Grace's nose was out of place. It curved to the side, making the line down his face uneven in a way he never noticed before. His hand raised to his own face, an index finger trailing down his own nose and not feeling any sort of displacement.
Maybe this picture was taken way earlier than Grace had first assumed, and he somehow collected the money on a teacher's salary to get plastic surgery and somehow put his nose back where it was sitting. But even then, that raises the question of what the heck happened to even get him to break his nose in the first place??
-----
How would he even get into a situation like this one??
Ryland was curled up on the ground, his arms wrapped around his head as he tried to ignore Colts yelling. It was loud, everything was too much- the light shined in his eyes and he just wished he could be any place else. A place that didn’t make so many of the other kids stare at them like they were different. Like- like something was wrong with them. Nothing was wrong, right??
“Stay away from him! I- I’ll beat you up!” Colts threats were empty, blood poured down from his nose and stained his brand new shirt. The kid that had shoved Ryland around just moments earlier had a trembling lip, but other than that he looked unharmed. Despite his yells and his threats, Ryland didn’t think Colt could actually hurt someone.
The bully stepped back from Colts yelling, turning and looking towards the school's doors and screaming bloody murder, making both of the twins cringe. With the combination of Colts yelling and the kids screams, a monitor came around to where they were standing. “What's going on here??” “He was–” “Colt tried to hurt me!”
The kid threw themselves into the monitor's arms, crying openly into her chest. Colt was about to argue back, to adamantly disagree before the teacher's eyes grew stern. “Colton. Ryland. You both go inside. You two can’t keep doing this- I’ll talk with you in a bit.” With no more room to argue, Ryland pushed himself up onto his feet and grabbed Colts arm and whispered a quiet plea to drop it. And he did, letting himself get dragged off by Ryland into the empty school hallway.
Ryland felt himself shaking, reaching up to wipe the tears from his cheeks and breathing through the panic in his lungs. Everyone could see, everyone knew. His face was red with embarrassment, but despite that he couldn’t stop crying. “..Ry I am-” “You didn’t have to do that you know”
The tension was thick, the only sound being Rylands soft hics and Colts sniffles to keep the blood from getting on the floor. “..I know. I just.. I wanna be there and stuff- you know?” Colt mumbled, his eyes catching the ground, and it was only now that Ryland saw the tears that had gathered in the others' eyes. The tears that he had somehow managed to hold back. “You’re my brother! I’m not gonna let that happen again.. I should have done more the-” “Colt-” “last time and you know it.”
Colt shivered, his arms going to wrap around his torso as tears started finally falling, mixing with the red that was decorating his face. “I’m sorry Ry, I didn’t mean to embarrass you, I just was trying to be a good brother-” He was interrupted by Ryland pulling him into a hug. That's when the water works really started.
Ryland knew that Colt hated crying, he hated how whenever he got frustrated he could feel his eyes start to burn. But just like Ryland knew that, Ryland also knew that he couldn’t help it. So Colt hugged back and cried into his shoulder, staining his sweater with more blood.
They stood there in the hall for what felt like forever, up until the monitor finally walked into the hall wiping down her sweater. Ryland backed up slightly, looking over with a worried expression, while Colt couldn’t even look up at her.
“..Look. I know you two are struggling with the recent move, but behavior like this is not acceptable.” She spoke while slowly making her way to them, crouching down to meet both of their eyes. It made Ryland.. Mad? Upset? He didn’t know, but he clutched Colt tighter and tried to keep his mouth shut. “I already had the office call your mom to pick you two up- come here..”
The woman reached out carefully, trying to grab Colt to get a good look at his face. The act was immediately met with apprehension from both of them, like she was going to try and separate them. The fear came so naturally, it felt instinctual to cling onto the other and make sure they weren’t separated during moments of crisis, moments like these. Thankfully, she seemed to see the hesitation in both their eyes as her tone shifted to something more soft and caring. “I just need to see what happened.. Ok? Colton, can you please look at me”
Ryland could feel Colt shake with regret and shame. He just wanted to be a good brother.
Colt looked up at her, showing his out of place nose from getting pushed by the kid. It swelled up even as the bleeding had mostly stopped. The woman cringed and looked back out the door, off to somewhere that Ryland could only assume meant trouble for that dang bully.. Serves him right.
Now that Colts face wasn’t hidden anymore, Ryland could see the damage just as well as the monitor could. Colts nose curved to the side, making the line down his face uneven in a way that was never there before–
-----
Grace held the photo tighter between his thumb and index finger. The room was quiet, way too quiet to the memory that was just implanted into his mind. Just as he thought he knew everything that there was to know about his life..
Colt. His brother. His twin.
How could he have ever forgotten.
Before he even realized he was falling, Grace was crumbled next to all of those abandoned clothes. He didn’t know when the tears had started to fall down his face, but they felt like lava burning pathways into his cheeks that had stayed dry for so long. His brain was filled with cotton, clouding any more memories he might have reached with a light cloud of fog. Every single interaction felt just out of reach, at the ends of Grace's fingertips, but never close enough to grasp at and hold close to him.
There was a picture of him in his luggage all this time. Proof that he was cared about, at least at one point.
“Grace ok??? Grace body give into scurvy, question??”
Well. Proof that he was cared about on earth.
As Grace tried to push himself to his feet, he heard Rocky tumble through the tunnel and press himself against the xenonite glass. “I’m.. I’m alright rock.” “Grace lie. Rocky see that Grace is leaky. Grace tell Rocky what's wrong statement.” Now that he got to his feet, he could see that maybe it was a little bit from the shock, and a little bit from the malnutrition because his legs shook. “I.. Rocky I don’t know if I can..”
Grace trailed off again, leaning against the wall and trying not to fall once again. Still, he couldn’t help but stare at that photo on the ground. He had dropped it like it was hot iron, searing and burning his hand with information that he should have remembered a long time ago. “I don’t know how to explain.” As if Rocky heard the shake to his voice, he finally settled, pulling his limbs close to his body.
“...Do puppet show?”
Maybe a puppet show is exactly what he needed, because he felt a laugh bubble up from his lungs that were struggling to move otherwise. “Not.. not a puppet show kinda thing, Rock” “Then Grace explain? Rocky promises to try and understand.”
He turned to look at his companion, still sitting with his legs close to him- waiting for Grace to be ready. Waiting for Grace to be able to speak. It broke a soft, familiar feeling to his chest, one that made him feel loved. There was no way to know that it was familiar for a reason, that another part of him had cared about him all the same. No matter the feelings that were causing his brain to compress on itself, he moved to sit next to Rocky, sliding down with his back against the tunnel.
“..Alright. I’ll.. try to explain?”
From there, Grace had tried to relay the memory. How he had a brother- Colton. That was his name right? Colton Grace? Though, that didn’t even sound right. Like it was wrong on his tongue, barely used in the full context. What felt right was just.. Colt.
Grace tried to tell Rocky all he knew about Colt, even though it was embarrassingly little. By the time he got to the end of his story, he trailed off and stared down at the ground. “...thats all I remember about him. I didn’t even know I had a brother until now and.. And..” Grace gestured over to the picture, before realizing that Rocky's screen detector thing probably couldn’t reach that far- and grabbed the picture to hold up for Rocky.
Rocky hummed with a musical note that wasn’t any translatable word, poking at the xenonite glass. “Grace sibling look like Grace. A lot like Grace.” “Yea- I mean, we were twins. Identical twins, I thought that this was me at first too” Grace chuckled and looked closer.
Colt looked a lot different then he did in that memory, and somehow it felt wrong. His clothes for one was stuff that screamed Grace. He was pretty sure he had that exact sweater in his duffel bag right now. Maybe that was the joke? Did they swap places? Whatever it was, it didn’t make sense and Grace doubted that it would make sense any time soon.
Rocky stayed mostly quiet as Grace turned the photo in his hands, before standing up and seeming to stretch. “Grace need rest. Grace on rest duty now, Rocky on pack duty.”
“You can’t even reach the clothes without-” “Grace rest now statement.”
Grace rolled his eyes, pushing himself back up from against the tunnel. Rocky was so bossy, but he couldn’t complain too much. After all he couldn’t really tell if the shakes and shivers through his body were from the memory or from the lack of food.
Either way, he was ok to rest. Finally with the comfort that someone on earth cared. That he wasn’t just another faceless name. Maybe Colt was looking at the stars, longing for another chance to speak with him again, but admiring him as a hero.
Just like that kid that chose to stick up for his brother despite being scared shitless of the consequences.
At least he knows where he gets his bravery from.