Archive of Our Own

"Oh fuck," Buck groans as he lowers himself into the hot tub.

Eddie gulps. So far, Eddie has had enough self preservation to avoid getting in the hot tub with his best friend, whom he happens to be madly in love with. And very attracted to.

Chimney had sent Buck and Eddie home early when he noticed Buck limping. Because it was the middle of the night and both kids were at Eddie's with Carla, Eddie had driven the two them back to Buck's house. Since his recovery from the opioid dependency, Buck has been hesitant to take even mild painkillers, so when Eddie asked what would help the most, Buck had answered the hot tub.

"You coming, Eddie?" Buck asks. "It's amazing. I can't believe you haven't gotten in before." He stretches his arms and his legs, cracking his joints. Eddie watches water roll down his biceps.

"Yeah." Eddie's voice squeaks a little. He clears his throat. "Yeah, I'm getting in."

He sets his towel down (Buck's towel. Just like he's wearing Buck's borrowed swim trunks), and climbs in next him. The water does, admittedly, feel amazing. He sinks down to his neck and tilts his head back against the edge.

"How is it?" Buck asks eagerly.

"You were right," Eddie admits. "Is it helping your leg?"

"Yeah," Buck stretches his leg out, rotating his ankle. His foot sticks out of the water. The scars there form a small crisscross pattern that kind of looks like fish scales. Eddie struggles to look away.

"That's good," he mumbles weakly.

Buck gives him a weird look, but relaxes back into the water, sighing contentedly. He looks so beautiful, eyes closed, small smile, his face twitching occasionally in annoyance when his leg twinges. His birthmark is flushed from the heat, and Eddie wishes he could lean over and kiss it.

Buck opens his eyes and catches Eddie staring, but he doesn't say anything. He just holds Eddie's gaze and smiles slightly, eyes impossibly tender.

Eddie can't take it. He turns away, staring blankly at the sky instead. There are some times when Buck looks at him like that and he thinks of how easy it would be to be in love with Buck forever. They would be good together, he knows they would. And when Buck looks at him like that, it feels possible. Like it's right there, Eddie just has to reach out and grab it.

But every time he looks away. He's scared. Not of confessing, but of what comes afterwards. Of keeping Buck. Of lashing out when he's sad or scared because anger is easier for him than fear and grief. Of the urge to run when it gets hard, like every other relationship he's been in. He knows Buck wouldn't let him, Buck would hold on, but the fear still holds him back.

He can feel Buck's eyes on him, as he stares resolutely at the sky.

"See those three stars up there?" Buck asks eventually.

Eddie hadn't, but he finds them easily. He nods, voice caught in his throat.

"That's Orion's Belt. The hunter. He was killed by a mythical scorpion. That's why you can never see him and Scorpius at the same time. They're chasing each other across the sky forever."

Eddie finally looks over. Buck's looking at him, not the sky, his face much closer than before. Their eyes lock. Neither of them breathe. The moment is broken when Buck winces. He stretches his leg out again, hands reaching down to dig into his calf muscles.

"Here, let me," Eddie says quietly, reaching out for Buck's leg.

"Thank you," Buck murmurs, moving to the corner of the hot tub, so he can extend his leg over Eddie's lap.

Eddie reaches for his foot first, planning to start at the bottom and work his way up. He's massaged Buck's leg many times before. Shortly after the surgery, massages were required to help the healing and prevent keloid scaring, and Eddie has done it many times since to help with the chronic pain. He has his strategy down.

His thumbs dig into the bottom of Buck's foot, sweeping outwards, and Buck groans obscenely. Eddie realizes then that he hasn't actually given Buck a massage since his relatively recent gay awakening and subsequent realization that he had been in love with Buck for years probably. He had always had a bit of a weird feeling when giving Buck a massage, but he had attributed it to discomfort over Buck being in pain or bad memories of the accident. But no. He just gets horny over Buck's leg.

But whatever. It's okay. Eddie is a good friend. He can give a friendly leg massage to his best friend who is in pain.

Buck is leaning back, the waterline falling just under his chest, which Eddie can see rising and falling rhythmically. His eyes are closed, and his mouth is open, wet curls falling over his forehead and sending water droplets down his cheeks. Jesus Christ. Eddie can not get a boner with his best friend's foot in his lap.

He scoots a little closer to Buck, moving on to his lower leg. Most of scaring is concentrated here— a long surgical scar from the open reduction and internal fixation, a skin flap covering his calf where the flesh was ripped away, and grafts over the shin and thigh from the fasciotomy.

Eddie runs his hands over the scars, forgetting what he's supposed to be doing for a second. The scars are smooth, slippery from the water, firmer in some places and softer in others. He's always been a little fascinated by them. He loves the variation in the texture of the skin, the way his leg hair grows in small patches where there are fewer scars. There's a scar under his knee that he stares at whenever Buck wears shorts. It's a firm, shiny scar that swirls outwards, like fabric pinched and draped.

He can remember Buck's screams, the blood, the ice pumping through Eddie's veins as he clutched Buck's hand as tight as he could, the hours of surgery, the months after. And now he can touch Buck's legs and trace the scars and know that Buck survived.

Buck twitches slightly, as if he's about to pull it away, and Eddie realizes he's just been holding Buck's leg and staring at it.

"Sorry." Eddie resumes the massage. Buck's calves are huge. That's not helping Eddie's situation. He's sure he's blushing, but he can blame it on the heat.

"No, it's okay. I get it," Buck says, his voice sounding strained.

"Get what?" Eddie asks. His hands still again as he looks up.

Buck makes a face. "I don't know. It's a lot to look at."

"No, Buck, that's not what…" He doesn't know how to say I think they're kind of hot and I'm glad you're alive without sounding like a weirdo and confessing way more than he wants to. "I just got a little distracted."

Eddie isn't always good with words, but he's a man of action, so he gets back to work. Buck moans again, and Eddie resits the urge to look up and watch his face.

"Jesus, Eddie, how are you so good at that?" Buck asks.

Eddie grins. "A lot of practice." Back when Buck was first recovering, he hated the massages, hated anyone looking at or touching his leg. Eddie relishes the way Buck melts into them now.

"And your hands are huge," Buck mutters under his breath. Eddie nearly chokes on his own saliva.

He shifts closer again, pulling Buck's massive thigh into his lap and beginning to work the flesh there. There isn't as much scar tissue on Buck's thigh, just skin grafts over the back of the knee that extend up and curl around. Eddie can feel the tightness of the muscle though, and digs his fingers in deep, caught between trying to block out Buck's noises and wanting to memorize every single one. He's working very hard not to pop a boner.

Eventually his hands reach the hem of Buck's swimsuit. He knows he should stop, but can't rip his hands away. He's definitely a little hard. He's obsessed with the way Buck's wet leg hair swirls beneath his fingers. It's sparser than Eddie's, but longer and curlier.

Seeing Eddie's hesitation, Buck pulls the leg of his trunks up, silently giving Eddie permission to continue. Eddie does.

He's sitting perpendicular to Buck, now nearly pressed against him. Buck sighs in contentment, and leans his head against Eddie's shoulder. The night air has cooled the water in his hair, and Eddie shivers as it drips down his back. Just from the water. Obviously.

"Fuck, Eddie," Buck groans right in his ear. "You're so good at that."

Eddie's heart is hammering. His dick is hard. His best friend is practically sitting in his lap and moaning in his ear. This is not sustainable.

"Thank you, Eddie," Buck sighs, so soft and sweet that it forces a choked whimper out of Eddie's throat.

"You okay-" Buck starts to ask, but as he turns to look up at Eddie, his leg moves and brushes over Eddie's erection. Eddie freezes. Buck jerks back, but he loses his balance, and Eddie ends up pulling Buck's leg closer to hold him in place. It is still resting on top of Eddie's dick.

"Um-" Buck squeaks. They're locked in place staring at each other.

"Sorry," Eddie says.

"No, uh, it's okay. It's normal. It happens. It, uh- me too, yknow?"

Him too???

"Now?" Eddie asks, eyes snapping down to Buck's crotch. He can't see anything through the bubbling water.

"I mean," Buck's voice is strained and reedy. "It felt good."

Eddie beams. He knows he looks stupid. He can't help himself. It felt good. Buck liked it. He made Buck hard. His head feels a little swimmy. He should probably get out of the hot tub. He has an idea of something he'd like to get into instead.

"Yeah?" he asks breathlessly.

"Yeah," Buck confirms, squirming slightly. Eddie still hasn't let go of his leg.

"I can… help you out?"

Buck swallows. Eddie's eyes lock onto the movement.

"Cmon," Eddie tilts his head down and looks up at him through his eyelashes. He's been using this look to get what he wants out of Buck for years. "You know I'm good with my hands."

That breaks Buck. He surges forward, one hand curling around the back of Eddie's neck and pulling him into a kiss. Eddie moans loudly the instant their lips connect, finally pushing Buck's leg away and swinging himself into Buck's lap.

See, this is why Eddie didn't want to get in the hot tub with Buck. Because he told himself he couldn't do this anymore. Make stupid decisions with his dick. Use sex instead of his words, like he had before.

But this is different. This is sex because he wants to have sex, not because he's avoiding his failures. And boy does Eddie want it.

It's still probably not the best idea, but Eddie can't think about that when he can literally feel Buck's cock beneath him.

Buck's hand in Eddie's hair tightens, pulling at it and Eddie moans. Buck takes advantage of his open mouth to stick his tongue in. Eddie grinds down against Buck, relishing the choked off moan he gets in return.

Eddie knew that he was gay, but he still couldn't have predicted how good this would feel. He liked kissing women. Liked it better than sex a lot of the time, honestly. But he's been kissing Buck for a few minutes and he already feels wrecked. He rocks his hips back and forth desperately, alternating between grinding forward against Buck's stomach and back against Buck's cock.

Buck breaks the kiss, and they stare at each other for a moment. They're both breathing hard. Eddie rolls his hips down slightly. Buck moans, and pulls Eddie close again, going for his neck this time. He kisses sloppily along the column of Eddie's throat, tongue lolling out and dragging across Eddie's skin. As soon as the cold air hits the spaces where Buck licked, Eddie shivers.

Buck scrapes his teeth gently against Eddie's collarbone, then bites again, harder at Eddie's answering whine. Eddie can't stop his hips moving in small, desperate thrusts against Buck. He's clutching Buck's broad shoulders, nails digging into the impressive muscle.

"Buck," he moans loudly.

"Yeah?" Buck asks, barley glancing up before diving back into sucking a hickey on Eddie's collarbone.

"Let me suck your dick," he chokes out.

Buck pulls back at that, looking at him in awe. "You want to?"

His blue eyes are glassy, his hair falling in wet ringlets, his birthmark flushed cherry pink. Eddie really wants to.

He nods, whimpering slightly.

"Holy shit, Eddie" Buck breathes. He wraps one arm securely around Eddie's waist and stands up.

Eddie yelps as he's lifted into the air, but as Buck steps out of the hot tub, he stumbles a bit and sets Eddie down.

"Sorry," he says, rolling his bad ankle. "Still not a hundred percent."

"It's okay. Eddie says. "Lie down."

Buck raises an eyebrow at him. "Here?"

Eddie grabs the towel he brought out earlier and spreads it on the grass. He points.

"Wow, Diaz, gonna ravish me in public?" Buck teases, stepping forward, close enough that Eddie has to tilt his head up.

Eddie blushes. "This is your backyard. It's private property."

"Sure," Buck grins. "Wouldn't have pegged you as the type."

"Shut up, and lie down, Buckley."

Buck grins cheekily at Eddie as he strips off his swim trunks and lowers himself onto the towel. He looks up at Eddie, soft and alluring.

Eddie's eyes trace down his body. The apples of his cheeks are flushed pink. His shoulders are massive. His chest is huge, soft looking, and covered in light curls. Eddie can't remember when Buck stopped waxing his chest, but he is very pleased with the development. He follows the swirls of hair down Buck's strong, biteable torso, down to where they grow thicker under his belly button.

Eddie's eyes lock on to Buck's cock and he gulps. He's seen plenty of dicks before, in the army, in porn, in the firehouse locker rooms. He's even caught a few fleeting glances of Buck naked. But nothing could have prepared him for this.

Buck is big. Obviously. Eddie knew that. And thick too. He's circumcised, unlike Eddie, and his tip is the most gorgeous pink color. A little darker than his birthmark. Close to the redish-pink shade his lips get sometimes. It's half hard, a little shiny already, bobbing gently. His balls look round and full beneath it. Eddie knows exactly what he wants from them.

His eyes trace down further, following Buck's massive thighs, catching on the long, deep scar on Buck's right inner thigh that Eddie hardly ever gets to see— the donor site for his skin flap. Water has pooled in the small dips and dimples of the scars on his left leg, reflecting the warm light of Buck's porch.

"Eddie?" Buck asks.

"Yeah?" Eddie snaps his head back up. He's flushed bright pink, from his ears down to his chest.

Buck grins. "Enjoying the view?"

"Yeah." Eddie's voice is a little hoarse.

"You gonna do anything about it?" Buck smiles coyly.

Eddie nods mutely, pulling down his own trunks and sinking to his knees between Buck's legs. Buck has both his legs pulled up, feet planted on the ground, and Eddie leans over to press a lingering kiss to Buck's scared knee. The texture of the skin is different there, smoother and firmer, almost plastic like.

After a second too long, Buck's leg twitches away. When Eddie looks up, Buck is avoiding his eyes.

"Do you not like that? When I touch your leg?"

"I mean…" Buck hesitates. "I don't want you to be uncomfortable."

"Why would I be uncomfortable?"

Buck doesn't answer, eyes just darting between Eddie and his scared leg.

Eddie doesn't know exactly what to say here. He doesn't want to come off as a freak or some weird fetishist. But he also can't do this with that slightly guilty, unsure look on Buck's face.

"Is it weird if I'm into them?" he asks in rush. Coughs. Slows down. "I like the different textures. I like that it's you." Eddie's face pinches up. He's not explaining this correctly.

"Yeah," Buck says. "It is weird." But his face is different now, more relaxed, almost awed, and when Eddie leans down to brush an open mouthed kiss over his knee, Buck doesn't flinch or look away, just draws in a shuttering breath.

"I've always been weird about you," Eddie murmurs.

"Eddie?" Buck's voice is shaking.

"Yeah?" Eddie replies with his lips still on Buck's knee.

"I love you." Buck's eyes are wide and wet, his mouth slightly parted, staring at Eddie longingly.

"I love you, Buck." Eddie says. "So, so, much." Slowly, refusing to break eye contact, he pushes Buck's leg forward towards his chest, until Eddie can put his mouth on Buck's ankle.

Tears start to spill over Buck's bottom lashes, and Eddie starts to pull back until Buck says, "No, no, Eddie, happy tears. I'm so happy. Keep going, please, Eddie, please."

Eddie licks over the joint of Buck's ankle and up, tracing a line of scar tissue. Buck giggles at first, then breaks into a moan.

"Is it ticklish?" Eddie asks.

"A little. It all varies. Some parts are way more sensitive than usual, and some are almost numb. Not really any pattern to it either."

Eddie nods, tucking the information away. He can't feel much over his gunshot scars.

Eddie leans back down, using his tongue to trace a long line of keloid scaring from Buck's ankle to just below his knee. Buck moans loudly at that, throwing his head back and reaching one hand down to grab Eddie's shoulder. That must be a sensitive spot.

Eddie loves the feel of it under his tongue. It's a thin line of scar that's raised above the rest, and he flicks his tongue back and forth, dipping into the crevices around it. He can feel some of his saliva start to drip down Buck's calf, and he licks it back up. He can taste the chlorine.

When he moves to the back of Buck's calf, he pauses and looks up. "You taste different here."

Buck makes a small choked whimper and nods.

"Do you know why?" Eddie asks.

"Um." He clears his throat. "I can sweat there. Most of the rest of my leg I can't."

Eddie tilts his head.

"Most of the rest of the scars are partial thickness skin grafts, so just the top layer of skin. But when they take the flap, they move more of the tissue underneath. It has sweat glands, so it sweats."

"Cool," Eddie murmurs, dipping back down. He can taste it now, the salty sweat mixing with the taste of chlorine. He sighs, and rubs his face against Buck's leg. Buck laughs softly, then gasps when Eddie bites him.

Eddie continues his way up Buck's leg, licking over the different scars, biting a little more when he hears Buck gasp.

"Fuck, Eddie," Buck is saying, words tumbling over each other. "That feels so good. You're so good, Eddie, you're-" He cuts himself off with a moan.

"Buck," Eddie moans in return. He's mouthing sloppily along the side of Buck's knee, drooling all over it. His chin and cheeks are sticky from where he's rubbed his face over Buck's leg.

He moves up to Buck's thigh and bites down, relishing the strong, meaty muscle and fat beneath his teeth, then drags the flat of his tongue over it to feel the texture of Buck's hair.

"Eddie." Buck pulls a little on Eddie's hair. "Hurry up," he whines.

Eddie smiles, and switches to Buck's other leg, giving a long, slow lick over the donor site scar there. Buck groans, his grip in Eddie's hair tightening.

When Eddie reaches the top, his forehead bumps against the base of Buck's dick, and he glances up to find it right in front of him. Wow, he thinks, a little light-headed.

Buck misreads his admiration as hesitancy, and says, "You don't have to, you know."

"I know," Eddie answers, still mesmerized. "I really, really want to."

He tears his gaze away to look up at Buck. He widens his eyes, making them as soft and desperate as he can. He knows what that look does to Buck. "I've just never done it before."

Eddie glows internally at the slow, shuddering breath Buck takes. He knew that that would do it for Buck's possessive streak.

"Just go slow. Use your hands too. Watch your teeth." Buck makes a face, showing Eddie how to pull his lips back over his teeth, and Eddie copies it. "Perfect," Buck murmurs. "You're a natural."

Eddie really hopes he is.

He dips down to the base of Buck's cock, giving the underside one long lick. Buck moans loudly.

Eddie takes time to just explore at first, not really worrying about how it feels. Judging from Buck's moans, he doesn't need to be too worried. He licks at the tip, then mouths messily down the underside. When he gets to the base, he kisses one of Buck's balls and then sucks it into his mouth.

Eddie and Buck simultaneously moan at the feeling. Eddie loves the weight of it in his mouth, the faint tastes of sweat, body wash, and chlorine. His mind feels so blissfully empty as he rests his head on Buck's thigh. He's giving small, rhythmic sucks, saliva spilling out of his mouth and dripping down Buck's taint. He could stay here forever without even really caring about getting off.

Buck, however, does not share that sentiment. He tugs on Eddie's hair till Eddie lets go with a soft whine. Buck uses his grip to direct Eddie back to his cock, and Eddie follows happily, eager to have his mouth full again.

A little too eager, it seems, as he goes too far his first time and gags. He pulls off to cough once, wipes his mouth, and dives back in.

He's more careful this time, more methodical, sucking on just the head at first, swirling his tongue around it, and dipping into Buck's slit to taste his precum. He knows what he likes when getting blowjobs, and it's pretty easy to gauge what Buck likes from the moans and pants above him.

"Eddie, Jesus Christ, sweetheart, you're so good at that. You feel so good, baby."

Eddie whines. He's propped up on his knees and elbows, one hand around the base if Buck's dick and the other holding onto his thigh. Eddie's hips start to thrust forward desperately, unconsciously. Buck sees and slips one of his legs between Eddie's, pressing up against his cock so Eddie can rub himself off against it.

Eddie moans desperately around Buck's dick. There's so much drool dripping from his mouth, all over Buck's cock. It's such a mess, but he can't bring himself to care. He's rubbing himself against Buck's leg and slobbering over Buck's cock, and it's so good. He could never have imagined sex could feel this good.

"Yeah, baby?" Buck, as usual, keeps running his mouth while Eddie's is full. "You like that, huh? Got yourself all worked up? You look so sexy for me, Eddie. You're taking it so well. So good at this, so good for me."

Eddie is a moaning, whining mess, and with one particularly good thrust against Buck's leg he has to tense his entire body and pull back to avoid cumming.

"Everything okay?" Buck asks.

"Yeah," Eddie answers, climbing up to kneel over Buck's torso. "Didn't want to come to soon."

Buck barley has time to moan at that before Eddie leans down to kiss him, instantly thrusting his tongue into Buck's mouth, licking behind his teeth, and sucking at his bottom lip.

"How do you want to come then?" Buck asks when Eddie pulls back for breath.

Eddie bites his lip. He knows how he wants to come, but he's not sure if he can ask for it.

He bites his lip and flutters his eyelashes, doing his best to look fuckable. "With you inside me?"

Buck blanks out, staring at Eddie with his mouth open.

"Please?" Eddie grinds back a little, letting Buck's cock slip between his ass cheeks.

"Of course, Eddie. Anything for you. Whatever you want. I'll give you anything."

Eddie smiles. Score.

"Bedroom, though." Buck says.

Eddie nods eagerly and scrambles off Buck, running to the bedroom. He makes it there before Buck does and realizes he has no idea what to do. He's tempted to get on all fours on the bed, but it feels kind of stupid and cliche.

Buck finds him there, still staring at the bed. He wraps his arms around Eddie from behind and starts kissing Eddie's neck.

"You can lie down. On your back, because I want to see your face. I need to prep you if you want me to fuck you."

"Okay." Eddie sits down on the bed. He has his legs crossed, watching as Buck fumbles around the room. He pulls a bottle of lube out from his nightstand and continues searching his drawers.

"What are you looking for?"

"A condom that isn't expired. It's been a while."

Eddie laughs at that. "Do we need one?"

Buck pauses and looks up. "Do we not?"

"I mean, if you're okay with it? I'd rather not?"

"Okay," Buck says breathlessly. "Okay." He closes the drawer so hard that the nightstand bangs against the wall. Eddie laughs.

"Lie down." Buck climbs onto the bed, kneeling over Eddie and giving a him a little shove, knocking Eddie's breath out of his lungs.

"Come here, big guy," Eddie teases, pulling Buck down into another deep kiss. Buck kisses him enthusiastically, one hand wrapped around the back of Eddie's neck and the other bracing himself against the bed.

He's a good kisser. Eddie should have expected that with all the practice Buck has had. Eddie used to be a good kisser too, but now he's just laying there, sucking on Buck's tongue when he can, taking whatever Buck will give him. And Buck is giving him plenty, moving down to that same spot on Eddie's collarbone he had found earlier.

"Can I leave a mark?" Buck asks, looking up through his lashes.

"Oh my god, please. Yes, Buck, please." He probably should've thought through that answer more, but he doesn't care. It's low enough that a shirt will hide it, right?

Buck gets to work, alternating between small nibbles and firm sucks. One of his hands has traveled down to grip Eddie's waist. It's a good thing too, because Eddie is practically thrashing in pleasure, and Buck's hand is helping to keep him still.

The manhandling is driving Eddie a little insane. The way Buck will pick him up and shove him around and hold him down is intoxicating. Eddie knows exactly how strong Buck is, and he's obsessed.

When Buck is done with the hickey, he gives it a few gentle, soothing licks, then straightens up to sit back on his heals.

"I'm gonna prep you now. It might feel a little weird at first. Tell me if you want me to stop, or if anything hurts."

Eddie huffs a small laugh. "I've fingered myself before, Buck, I can handle it. I like it."

Buck looks slightly gobsmacked.

"Post-gay-realization sex drive hit me like a brick. I experimented a little."

"But I'm your first time with a guy, right?"

"Yeah. My first time with guy. First time with someone I'm in love with. My last everything hopefully."

"Yeah." Buck beams. "You're my last."

"Then get on with it." Eddie smiles and pulls his legs up to his chest. It feels a little stupid but he is quickly reassured by the sound of Buck's breath catching.

Buck trails his fingers ever so gently from behind Eddie's balls down to circle his hole, pressing against it gently.

"You look so beautiful, Eddie," Buck whispers.

Eddie can only whimper and plead in response. "Buck. In me. Please."

Buck nods, head bobbling almost comically. He reaches over to grab the lube so fast that he nearly falls on top of Eddie, and they both laugh before Buck rights himself and gets some lube on his index finger. He pours a little directly over Eddie's hole too, and Eddie hisses slightly at the cold feeling.

"Sorry," Buck mumbles, petting over Eddie's hole, warming the lube and rubbing it in.

"It's okay." Eddie sighs, relaxing into Buck's soothing touches. "I asked you to hurry."

Buck nods, tongue poking out slightly as he concentrates. Finally, he slowly pushes one finger into Eddie.

"Buck," Eddie whimpers, reaching down to grab onto Buck's wrist.

"Good?" He holds his finger still inside Eddie and intertwines theirs hands, thumb rubbing circles against Eddie's.

"So good," Eddie moans. Buck's fingers are shorter than his, but thicker, and it feels so good inside of him. He tightens his hold on Buck's hand and thrusts his hips up. "More, move please."

Buck obeys, moving his finger slowly at first in small, shallow thrusts, massaging Eddie's walls. When Eddie starts squirming and thrusting back against Buck's finger, he starts going faster. Eddie can hear the lube squelching inside him and can't even bring himself to be embarrassed.

After a few minutes of Eddie falling apart on Buck's finger, he wraps one leg around Buck's waist and tries to pull him closer. "Another, please, Buck, I need more."

"Of course, sweetheart," Buck says. He reaches for some more lube, but has to pull his finger out to apply it. Eddie squirms and whines loudly in protest at the empty feeling.

"Oh, Eddie, it's okay, I've got you, I'm right here." Buck's words rush over each other as he hurries to ease two fingers into Eddie's hole.

Eddie moans loudly, canting his hips up. He feels stupid; he can barley speak anymore. He's just communicating through moans and whines.

"Yeah, there you go, Eddie. I'm gonna take care of you."

Buck is gonna take care of him. Eddie whimpers. Buck always takes such good care of him.

"I need to do three fingers before I fuck you." His voice is gentle, as are his fingers, softly petting inside Eddie. "Tell me when you're ready for a third."

Eddie nods. He usually only does two when fingering himself, but after seeing what Buck's working with, three sounds like a good idea.

Buck goes slower this time, even when Eddie tries to get him to speed up. He's dragging the pads of his fingers over Eddie's inner walls, gently stretching him, keeping him full and satiated.

"Buck…" Eddie whines. It feels good, but he's impatient. "Why aren't you…" He trails off, too embarrassed to say it.

"Soon, Eddie, I just got to make sure you're ready." Buck soothes, but he doesn't get it. He didn't understand what Eddie wanted.

"Why aren't you touching my prostate?" He forces out.

"Oh, Eddie," Buck chuckles softly. "You almost came already from blowing me earlier. You want this to last, don't you?"

Eddie whimpers and nods.

"Good boy. You want another finger?"

"Please, Buck, Please." Eddie's brain is completely scrambled. His balls are starting to ache. His dick is so hard it almost hurts, completely neglected where it's resting against his stomach. He wants to touch himself, but he can't come yet. He needs to be good for Buck.

Buck has to pull his fingers out again to add more lube, and Eddie feels like crying. Soon enough though, he's easing all three in. It's a bit of a stretch but there's plenty of lube at this point, and it feels so good as soon as they're in.

Eddie makes a garbled noise that was probably supposed to be "please" or "Buck" or "thank you." He doesn't know at this point. He's such a mess and Buck hasn't even gotten his dick in him yet.

Finally, Buck starts searching for Eddie's prostate, pressing around until he finds it. Eddie has to bite his lip to keep from moaning too loud.

"Yeah? Right there?"

"Yes, yes, thank you, Buck," Eddie moans.

"It feels good?"

Eddie thinks that should be fairly obvious, with the way he's moaning and drooling and thrashing about, but after a second, he realizes what Buck is really asking for.

"Yes, Buck, it feels so good. You're so good to me. I can't- It's never felt like this. You feel so good inside me," he babbles and is immediately rewarded by Buck moaning and thrusting his fingers harder.

Eddie had never really liked dirty talk before. Like most aspects of sex and dating, it either felt like an elaborate performance or a straight up lie. He hated roleplay especially. But with Buck, It's easy to relax and say whatever comes to his mind.

"I love your cock so much. It's so beautiful. So big. I need it inside me so bad, Buck, please. You're so big all over, your arms, your tits, your thighs. I love it, I love you. I love you so much, Buck."

"Eddie," Buck whines, voice strained. "Eddie are you ready?"

"Yes! Please, Buck, please, now!"

Buck pulls his fingers out and wipes them against Eddie's thigh. "How do you want it?"

Eddie, well past the point of being embarrassed, flips over onto his stomach. He braces himself on his elbows and knees and arches his back as much as he can. He may not have done this before, but he knows what he dreams about and what he searches for in porn.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Eddie," Buck says. "Your ass is insane." He grabs two handfuls and starts kneading it. Eddie smiles and sinks down into the arch, spreading his knees further and resting his head on his crossed arms. He knew Buck was an ass man, and that's another reason why he chose this position.

"Hurry up and get in it then." He shakes it a little and Buck groans.

Buck stands up on his knees and holds Eddie's hip in place with one hand, positioning the tip of his cock against Eddie's hole with the other. Eddie whimpers at the warm, wet feeling.

"Tell me if anything hurts," Buck mumbles again, and Eddie nods, desperate for Buck to push inside him.

Buck does, slowly, and Eddie moans. It's so good. Better than Buck's fingers, certainly better than Eddie's, and a lot better than his impulse purchase dildo. It feels so warm, so big, inside him.

"Oh, Buck," Eddie groans. "That's so good. Feels so good. You're gonna split me in half, god, Buck." Buck's hips still and Eddie rushes to add, "In a good way, please don't stop, Buck, please keep going."

Buck whimpers and acquiesces, slowly pushing until he's all the way in, balls deep in Eddie's ass.

"Eddie, you feel so good." he moans. "You're so warm and tight. God, I can't believe this is your first time. You're made for this. I'm gonna fuck you everyday now."

Eddie moans and nods, loving the way Buck babbles out every thought in his mind. There's drool on his pillow that he ends up smearing over his cheek. He's squirming, trying to thrust back, but Buck is holding him steady with two hands on his hips.

"Buck, c'mon, please."

"I need a minute, Eddie. You're so tight, you're sucking me in, it feels too good."

Eddie grins. "Not so cocky now, are you?"

Buck chuckles a little, hands roaming over Eddie's ass cheeks. "Hah. Cocky."

Eddie kicks his leg back, trying to give Buck a little shove, but just ends up losing his balance instead. Luckily, Buck catches him, but the motion forces him to shift a little inside Eddie. It's barley a thrust, but Eddie chokes on a moan anyway, going boneless beneath Buck.

Warmth presses against Eddie's back as Buck leans over him to whisper in his ear. "What were you saying about being cocky, sweetheart?"

Yeah, okay. Buck deserves a little arrogance. He certainly has the skills to back it up. His thrusts start slow and shallow, barley pulling out and grinding back into Eddie each time. Eddie can't decide whether he loves it and never wants to stop or needs more now. He settles for just lolling his tongue out, closing his eyes, and taking it.

"Yeah, there you go, Eddie" Buck murmurs. "You look so good like this. You're so gorgeous. I'll never be able to get enough of your ass. I've been sneaking glances for years. Can't believe you never caught me."

Eddie had caught him, actually, but had just preened under the attention. He told himself he was just proud of his strength. He worked hard for that ass, and it was nice to see Buck appreciate the pay off. Totally platonic.

Whatever.

None of that mattered now when Buck was thrusting into him, kneading his ass with both hands like an overeager cat. Eddie let out small, contented sighs in time with each thrust. Jumbled praises and pleas fell from his lips, but he didn't fully know what he was saying. He was sure Buck understood enough to get the message.

Buck just felt so good inside him. So big and warm, filling up a part of Eddie that had ached with emptiness for years, long before Eddie understood where that empty feeling came from.

He felt like he should be doing more, maybe. He had always been the more dominant partner before. Sex was a job. A task he could focus on, a skill he could hone. He never let himself fully let go and enjoy it before.

Buck didn't seem to mind, though. He's draped himself over Eddie, chest warm and solid against Eddie's back, hands on planted on either side of Eddie's head, thrusting into him slowly.

"Is it good, Eddie?" he murmurs next to Eddie's ear, starting to sound a little desperate himself. "Do you like it?"

"Yeah, Buck, it's so good, please," he slurs. His tongue feels too big for his mouth, and he's drooling like crazy, but he forces the words out anyway. "More, harder, please, Buck."

A distressed whine comes out of Buck's mouth, and he slumps down further onto Eddie. It doesn't sound like pleasure, though. It sounds like frustration and defeat. The same whine Eddie has heard when Buck pulls another deflated souffle out of the oven or can't quite hit the number or reps he wanted when lifting weights.

Eddie cranes his neck, trying to see what's wrong. "Buck?" he asks. "Are you okay?"

There's no answer for a second. Buck stops his thrusts and buries his face in Eddie's back, avoiding meeting his gaze. "I can't do it harder right now." His voice is filled with shame. "My leg I- I can't get-" He breaks off with another frustrated groan.

"Buck, hey, I'm sorry, come here." Eddie is all twisted up and he can't even see Buck properly. "Pull out and lie down," he says, still managing to imbue some authority in his voice after everything.

Buck does, pulling out of Eddie with a loud, wet noise, and immediately flopping down on his back. His eyes are fixed on the ceiling, glassy and avoiding Eddie's. "I'm sorry," he whispers.

"I'm sorry," Eddie says, moving to curl into Buck's side. "I shouldn't have- I should've been thinking. I got too greedy." He tries to say it as a joke, but it doesn't come out right. He did get greedy. The moment he let himself really, truly enjoy something he started asking for more, without bothering to think about Buck's leg.

"Eddie, no," Buck whines. "You're supposed to be greedy. I wish I could give you anything you've ever wanted. I should be able to. I will next time, I promise."

"I want you. That's all." Eddie burrows his face in Buck's neck. They're both teary eyed and guilty and the lube is starting to cool and stick Eddie's thighs together uncomfortably. He feels like he ruined their first time.

Buck makes a small noise, like that admission hurts even more. Eddie knows it isn't easy for Buck to hear. He has to say it anyways.

"Really, Buck. I love you."

Buck finally turns his body towards Eddie. His eyes are a little red, but he's smiling weakly. "I love you too. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize." Eddie brushes gentle kisses over Buck's cheeks, his forehead, and his eyelids. Buck smiles wider and giggles slightly. Eddie relaxes, pulling Buck close against his chest.

Buck sighs, sinking into it, and rubbing his teary, snotty face against Eddie. Eddie laughs and gives him a half-hearted shove. They lie like that for a while, syncing the rhythm of their breathing. Eddie cards a hand through Buck's curls.

"I have an idea," Buck mutters eventually. "If you still want to…"

"Yeah?" Eddie asks, maybe too eagerly. Buck chuckles.

He props his chin up on Eddie's chest and looks up at Eddie. His hair is sticking up on one side. "You could ride me. You could control the pace that way, and my leg wouldn't have to do any of the work."

"Okay." Eddie nods, breathless. He's never done it before, but he's never done any of this before. He's got a strong core and legs. It should be easy enough.

Positioning, as it turns out, is not as easy. Buck decides he wants it reverse cowgirl, so he can see Eddie's ass, and Eddie is never going to argue with Buck wanting to look at his ass. They get Buck propped up on some pillows, and Eddie clambers awkwardly over him, constantly trying to look over his shoulder when he can't get in the right position.

Buck laughs, and eventually just grabs Eddie's hip in one hand and his own dick in the other, guiding Eddie down on it.

Eddie sighs contentedly. He still has to squirm around a little, adjusting his legs into a more comfortable position, but eventually he gets there. Leaning forward, hands braced on the bed between Buck's legs, knees bracketing Buck's hips. Buck's hands land firmly on his ass.

Eddie can see where Buck's leg is a little red still from friction and uneven blood flow. He leans forward to kiss it gently, but ends up leaning too far forward, and Buck's dick slips out again.

"Eddie!" Buck's voice is halfway between laughter and a frustrated groan.

"I'm sorry!" Eddie is also laughing now. "I was trying to do something sweet."

"You are sweet." The love is apparent in his tone. "I'll tell you if my leg is bothering me, I promise. It feels better now."

"Good," Eddie says, easing himself back down.

"And I'll feel a lot better once I come," He jokes, giving Eddie's ass a squeeze.

"Alright, alright." Eddie smiles, starting to gently moving himself up and down, experimenting with how it feels.

Buck groans, tightening his grip on Eddie's hips. "Yeah, there you go, Eddie, that's good."

Eddie kinda wishes he could see Buck's face for this, but the view of Buck's legs is at least a lot nicer than what he was seeing before, which was pretty much just the pillow. The twitching and tensing of Buck's thighs is synced with his hands' clamping down on Eddie's ass or hips. Eddie loves watching the muscle flex under skin and fat and scars.

He's able to adjust fairly quickly, lifting himself up on his knees and then dropping back down. Buck helps, using his hands to guide Eddie up and down. It's good. Really good. His thighs are starting to burn, but that just makes it better. He loves having to work for this, really earning it.

Buck is moaning beneath him, fingers roving all over Eddie's ass and thighs, up his back, grasping whenever Eddie clenches around him.

Drool starts to run down Eddie's chin. His mouth is open, and his eyes are scrunched shut, sweaty hair flopping over his forehead. He's finally getting it faster and harder, just like he wanted.

"Buck, it feels so good," he whines. "You're so big, Buck, I love you so much." Buck is filling him up so completely, hitting his prostate every time. Small whimpers are forced out of Eddie with every bounce.

"I love you, Eddie. Your ass looks insane like this," Buck groans. "I can't believe how lucky I am. You're so good to me. You're perfect, princess." As he speaks, he firmly grabs Eddie by the hips, pulling him down and thrusting up at the same time.

Eddie screams in pleasure at the words and the feeling, losing his balance and almost falling forward before he catches himself with one hand on Buck's leg. The angle is even better now, filling him up so much. It feels so deep in his stomach, like Eddie would be able to feel it if he put a hand on his belly.

Buck moans too, giving Eddie's ass a gentle smack, and moving him up and down on his cock.

Eddie is barely in control himself, just bouncing as quickly as possible, led by Buck's hands. A long string of drool falls from his mouth and onto Buck's leg. He watches in fascination as it drips slowly along Buck's leg, following the path of a twisting scar. He wants to lick it back up, but he can't risk Buck's cock slipping out again.

He wants to say more, tell Buck how deep it is, how good it feels, but he can't string two words together. The whines and whimpers pouring out of his mouth are effortless, though.

"You sound so good, princess," Buck moans. His voice is becoming strained, taking on a whiny undertone as his fingers dig into Eddie's hips. "You were just made to take it, weren't you? Huge ass, strong legs, slutty waist. You look so good."

Eddie tries to nod. He's so close, from the constant pressure on his prostate, Buck's words, Buck's hands on his ass. He wants to come but he doesn't want this to end.

It's ridiculous really. He's always needed the exact right circumstances to come. The right pressure, the right mental state. It had always been easier to finish himself off when he could control all the details, and even then it could take a while. Finding out about Marisol had ruined his orgasms for weeks.

But tonight he's been on a hair trigger, almost coming while blowing Buck and getting close again when Buck was fucking him. His untouched dick is red and wet, slapping against his stomach with every bounce. His balls are aching and there's a tingling feeling in his spine that tells him he's about to come his brains out.

"M'close, Buck," he slurs. His face is wet with drool and tears. He doesn't know when he started crying again, but he doesn't care.

"Yeah, Eddie?" Buck's voice is breathless and desperate. "Please come for me, princess. I need to see you come, please come on my cock. You're so good to me, please, Eddie."

Eddie screams, a broken, desperate cry, as he comes, falling forward and clenching around Buck's cock. He chokes on a sob. Cum streams from his cock in quick pulses. It's so intense. He shudders as it continues, feeling himself rhythmically clench around Buck's cock as the last few dribbles of cum spill over.

"Buck," he says weakly. He's fallen forward, head resting on Buck's outstretched legs.

"Yeah? Was it good?"

"Soooo good," Eddie whines. He rolls his hips slightly and whimpers when it pushes Buck's cock against his overstimulated prostate. "Best I've ever had."

Buck moans. "Eddie, please, can I-"

"Come inside me, please," Eddie begs. "Buck, I need it so bad. I need your cum inside of me. Fill me up, please."

Buck gets his good leg underneath him, giving him a little more leverage to thrust into Eddie. Eddie tries to roll his hips back, but he can't get any sort of rhythm. He mostly just lies there, loose and happy, and lets Buck fuck up into his spent hole.

"Shit, Eddie, I'm so close. You sounded so good when you came, princess. So gorgeous for me." His thrusts are sloppy and uneven, chasing his orgasm. Eddie is clenching down when he can, trying to milk Buck's cock, desperate for his cum.

There's a small pool of cum right in front of him that Eddie realizes is his own. It has collected in a small valley formed between too firm, raised scars. Tentatively, Eddie dips his tongue in and licks it out. He doesn't love the taste of his own cum, but he loves how dirty it feels to lick it off of Buck.

He follows the trail of cum up Buck's thigh, licking more enthusiastically. He lathes his tongue over Buck's scars, cleaning up his own cum where it sticks in the little dips and channels. When he gets to a scar he remembers as being particularly sensitive, he licks it firmly, nibbles a bit, and rolls his hips back while clenching as tight as he can.

Eddie can feel it immediately. The enchanting warmth spilling inside him. He moans contentedly, the warm, tingly feeling spreading up his spine and through every nerve. Buck groans loudly as he comes, over and over. There's so much, deliciously wet and warm as Buck's cock throbs and pulses inside Eddie.

Buck's moans trail off into breathy whines as he comes down from the orgasm, breathy raggedly. Eddie sighs happily, nuzzling his face into Buck's leg.

"Eddie, come here," Buck says.

Eddie whines. "I don't want to move."

"Please, princess? I need to see your face."

Eddie can't resist that, so he carefully climbs off Buck's cock, grunting unhappily when Buck's come starts to spill out of him. His thighs are going to be sore as hell tomorrow, but he's looking forward to that.

Buck's chest is soft as he lies down on it, looking up into Buck's eyes.

"Good?" Buck asks.

"Perfect," Eddie says. "Next time we should do missionary. I want to see you."

"Jeez, Eddie," Buck laughs. "Already thinking about next time? I've created a monster, haven't I?"

"Mmhmm. I'm never gonna be able to stop thinking about this."

"Me neither." Buck pulls Eddie up for a soft, gentle kiss. Eddie presses another kiss to Buck's birthmark that's flushed deep red from the exertion.

"I need to clean us up," Buck mutters.

"Not right now," Eddie says. "I'm tired."

"Eddie, if you don't clean up now you're gonna regret it in the morning. Trust me I've been there."

Eddie grunts unhappily at the thought of another man's cum inside of Buck, but he doesn't budge. If anything, it makes him more determined to keep Buck's cum inside him for as long as possible.

"Then I'll regret it in the morning. I don't care right now."

"Okay." Buck's laugh is soft and fond. "If you say so."

Eddie turns on his side, snuggling his face into Buck's chest. Buck's leg hooks over his waist, pulling Eddie closer. Eddie finds his fingers immediately drawn back to the scars, tracing over the patterns. Now that he's been given permission to touch he can't stop himself.

Buck makes a small noise, though, and Eddie's fingers still.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, it's just… I mean, it's not like I mind, but you're weird about the scars."

"Do you want me to stop? I feel like kind of a freak…"

"Oh you're definitely a freak, and it's not because of that." Buck laughs, and then sobers up. "No, it's… it's nice, I'm just not used to it. I don't understand."

Eddie hums. "Some of it is just sensory. I like the way it feels, same way you like your stupidly expensive sweaters. The rest of it, most of it really…" He blows a breath out. "I don't really know how to explain it, but… I just really like your body, and this is part of that. And, yknow, I was there when it happened. I was so scared Buck, and we weren't sure if you were gonna be able to keep your leg."

He isn't sure how much Maddie had told Buck about what had happened before he woke up from the surgeries. He and Eddie had never talked about it. They probably should. There was a lot they needed to talk about.

"But you did, and you're here, and I can touch it."

He squeezes Buck's leg.

"And when you were healing, and I would massage it and change the bandages and everything. I think I just developed this… fixation on it. I wanted to take care of you. I wanted to love you, but I didn't fully let myself, so all of those weird feelings got mixed up with your scars.

"And now it's been so long, and they look so different, and your legs have gotten so much bigger— which I am also very much into, by the way— and it's all just… you. I don't… I can't fully explain it. But that's the best I've got."

Eddie ends his long winded speech with a sigh. He doesn't even fully understand it himself sometimes.

Buck sniffles, face pressed against Eddie's neck. Eddie realizes with a start that he's crying.

"I'm sorry, did I-"

"No." Buck cuts him off. "Most of the people I've had sex with never touch it. My last hook up, the couple? The lady touched it once on accident and apologized afterwards. And it's not even just sex. I feel like I'm dragging an elephant with me into every room I enter. And I'm tired of everyone politely ignoring it until I turn my head and then looking away when I catch them staring. So. Thank you. For not doing that. For really looking at me, and loving all of me."

"Of course." Eddie peppers kisses over Buck's face. "Of course, Buck. I always have. I always will."