UsuallyDyingInside
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Astarion's Vile, Complex Plan That Came Together by UsuallyDyingInside
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
27 May 2026
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For the first time that either of them can remember, Astarion and Tav are happy. With the Netherbrain defeated and their worst enemies vanquished, they finally have time to live their lives like regular people. Sure, there are friends to visit, family to search for, and that whole pesky sunlight problem, but overall, life is good. Things are just about perfect until the day that a vampire shows up on the couple’s doorstep in broad daylight claiming to be Astarion. This version of the beloved vampire, though, went through with ascending.
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TLDR; Ascended!Astarion shows up on Spawn!Astarion's doorstep, scheming to steal his girl (Durge).
Main relationship: Spawn!Astarion x Durge!Tav
Main POV: Astarion (Spawn)
Occasional POV: Durge (Tav)
Guest appearance POV: Astarion (Ascended)Post-Game events based on Astarion's Nice, Simple Plan That Fell Apart
It's not necessary to read the first fic to enjoy this one, but it's there if you want to!Series
- Part 2 of Astarion Isn't the Best at Planning
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The Hooligans of Baldur's Gate by UsuallyDyingInside
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
12 Apr 2024
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A decade before the "Heroes of Baldur's Gate" were abducted by Mind Flayers, many of them were just a bunch of kids living not-so-regular lives.
Karlach had not yet met Gortash.
Wyll had not yet sold his soul to save the city.
The Dark Urge (Tav) had not yet lost her memories.
Astarion and Shadowheart were... already not having a great time. (Sorry, but it's true)This fic will reimagine canon at this point in time, showing teenage/young adult versions of our favorite Baldur's Gate-based characters as they overlap for the first time in a jail cell rather than a mind flayer ship.
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Astarion's Nice, Simple Plan That Fell Apart by UsuallyDyingInside
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
12 Apr 2024
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Summary
Astarion had a plan. A nice, simple plan: seduce Tav, sleep with her, manipulate her feelings so she'd never turn on him.
All she had to do was fall for it.
And all he had to do was not fall for her.Which is where his nice, simple plan fell apart.
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Exploring Astarion's POV throughout the game while romancing Dark Urge/Tav. Canon is followed in most cases, including with lines of dialogue from the game, but Act 2 and 3 break off from canon a few times in fun ways.Content warnings are listed ahead of the more intense chapters. Overall this fic (like the game) explores what healing from abuse looks like and has a lot of references to those themes.
Series
- Part 1 of Astarion Isn't the Best at Planning
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A Very Fine Day With Two Future Pirate Captains by UsuallyDyingInside
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
19 Dec 2022
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A knife cut through the air with deadly precision, burying itself deeply into the wooden side of the oar, mercifully missing Stede’s sleeve by inches. He could have fainted right there.
This was it. This was how he died. Tied to a boat, mid-humiliation.
Yes, that sounded about right.
When no other knife appeared, and Stede’s heart slowed enough to realize he wasn’t in fact dead (yet), he realized that someone was standing on the opposite shore.
Well, it wasn’t as though he could get much more dead than he already was. Why not be friendly, at least. Kindness had never hurt anyone.
No one besides him, at least.
“Hello there, good sir,” he called to the person watching him. “Did you mean to throw this knife?”
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Alternate history where Ed and Stede meet the day of the rowboat incident for the first and only time before the events of the show.
Recent series
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Astarion Isn't the Best at Planning by UsuallyDyingInside
Fandom Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
27 May 2026
- Words:
- 920,916
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 34
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
Gale, once the esteemed Archmage of Waterdeep and now the self-appointed Grand Collector of Magical Misalignments, finds himself stranded in an unfamiliar land with a ragtag group of liars, cutthroats, and aliens. While he manages to rekindle his long-neglected skills in building friendships with most of them, it's painfully apparent that the vampire harbours a profound dislike for him. Given his recent streak of misfortune, it's no surprise that fate dictates learning more about the volatile orb lodged in Gale's chest requires Astarion's begrudging cooperation.
Astarion, for his part, is simply trying to survive.
Thus begins a journey marked by personal evolution, confronting inner and not-so-inner demons and embracing self-compassion—not necessarily in that order.
Oh yes, and they also need to save the world.
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Or the one with over 200k worth of slow-burn dumbassery.May 2026: Re-editing certain parts a little more. No changes to the content, only some rewording and grammar fixes for a smoother reading experience. I’ll mark here when finished.
Series
- Part 1 of I’d Burn Through the World
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 251,009
- Chapters:
- 38/38
- Comments:
- 712
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- 865
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- 262
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- 38,736
Bookmarked by UsuallyDyingInside
27 Apr 2026
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When Raphael suggests using your body whenever he wants in exchange for the Orphic Hammer, you agree.
Or
The One Where Raphael is Bad in Bed
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 36,120
- Chapters:
- 11/11
- Comments:
- 233
- Kudos:
- 2,072
- Bookmarks:
- 338
- Hits:
- 44,232
Bookmarked by UsuallyDyingInside
31 Mar 2026
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Dying to Keep You Safe by ThePaladinProse (shockdowndefiance) for Elven_MoonStar
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
26 Apr 2025
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Astarion paid no heed to the blood staining his trousers or that dripping down his nose; he walked back to Jen and knelt before her, working to breathe through his mouth and quash the hunger that rose to the surface despite the multitude of vile smells around. He didn’t need to breathe, but old habits died hard, especially after a fight.
It took more effort to ignore the gnawing pains than it did to stop his breathing, so he did the latter as he looked over Jen’s wounds. Her chest had three small, dark blossoms of blood and her shoulder had a thin trail working its way down; the bleeding at her leg had slowed to the occasional drop, ordinarily a good sign that the wound had begun to clot, but one glance at Jen’s pale face said otherwise.
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Jen and Astarion take a moment to clear up any remaining goblin stragglers, but after stepping into a trap they're attacked and both Jen and Astarion are injured, bleeding, and facing death
Until Jen sacrifices the last of her blood to save Astarion, and he has to deal with all the emotions that come with such a sacrifice and the conversation he and Jen are going to have when she wakes
Series
Bookmarked by UsuallyDyingInside
06 Mar 2026
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From Ashes to Embers: Astarion by FridayPlease, WincestielFTTFWin
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
19 Nov 2024
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PSST, I know this work is I N C R E D I B L Y L O N G, but I promise if you like angst, comfort, healing arcs and slow-burns, it's worth dipping your toes in. For the same story broken into three shorter stories which stack, try Rats to Radiance
Astarion's swirling thoughts were interrupted abruptly as they passed through a gate; they had moved into a shadier part of the market and his escort's grip had tightened less-than-protectively on his arm. Shit.
The vampire's eyes searched his face, a cold chill of fear running through him at what he found. Dumb though he was, the man knew something.
“I think your master would be very interested in knowing where his favorite slave is.”
Tav / Asterion slow burn, consent-focused. Starts ch 15.
Halsin / Astarion slow burn, healing focused.
Gale / Astarion platonic slow burn. Content starting ch.28
Rugan turns up in ch.52Heavy on growth and healing. Updated often. Comments appreciated <3
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Talking things through as a crew is easier said than done, and honest communication has never really been Stede’s strong suit. When it comes to Ed, he is willing to try.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 124,159
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 356
- Kudos:
- 1,052
- Bookmarks:
- 443
- Hits:
- 25,289
Bookmarked by UsuallyDyingInside
11 May 2024