cabloom
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[Podfic] snipers solve 99% of all problems by cabloom, quietnight
Fandoms: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
08 May 2026
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Summary
Ed had thought, after the whole Promised Day, homunculus, entire country harvested for alchemical batteries thing, the batshit quotient of his life would have settled down some. He really ought to have topped out the meter with that one. But no. The bullshit is just getting started.
“Are you fucking kidding me,” Ed demands. “The wizards?”
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Summary
He takes a deep breath and sighs it all out again. It's easier to do this without having to see her face. “It's my birthday,” he confesses.
To her credit, she doesn't immediately respond with some inanity about it being a happy occasion. It's never been particularly happy for Sanji. Not before he met Zeff and the two of them sort of inadvertently adopted each other, and not after, when it was nothing but a reminder of a painful past he'd rather have forgotten.
“Birthdays can be difficult,” she says, instead.
Series
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“Never done this before, have you? Nice girl like you, course you been saving it.”
“Oh fucking shit.”
Sanji tuts. “Nice girls don’t talk like that, Zoro.”
The ship is becalmed and everyone is asleep except our boys. A story in which Zoro is demanding, hands are sexy, and Sanji might be catching feelings despite himself.
Series
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Zoro can’t believe he's here, getting wasted with the greatest swordsman the world has ever known. So far.
They're several bottles in, and Zoro has taken up residence on the barstool next to him, matching him glass for glass, feeling the watery frills of that red shirt brush against his bare forearm every time he moves. The room has started gently spinning, the booze is strong, but the other man is watching him with something like grudging respect every time he finishes another glass of the stuff, so it's worth it.
This is great. He's going to get such a good grade in Dracule Mihawk.
So why can't he stop thinking about the damn cook?
Our intrepid crew finally reach Loguetown, where adventure - and danger - awaits them.
A fic in which Zoro is moping, Sanji is trying not to fall so hard he hurts himself, and Dracule Mihawk is the world's least willing relationship counsellor.
Series
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Summary
“I’m not a pushover,” Zoro says, because this is important. He needs Sanji to know this. “I don’t let anyone tell me what to do, normally.” Before - before Luffy. And Zoro hadn’t realised that he was waiting for this, for someone to come along who was worthy of being his captain and commanding his loyalty. He didn’t realise how it would settle him, right to his core, like the weight of a perfectly balanced sword in his hand.
“Believe me,” Sanji says, “I know.”
“I’m not weak.”
He laughs. “No fucking shit. Some day I swear you’re going to cut the goddamn ocean in half.”
Zoro huffs a little laugh of his own and settles further into Sanji’s grip, a tension he didn’t realise he was carrying dissipating from his shoulders.
“I like it,” he admits, quietly. “I like that it hurts.”
Sanji’s eyes are softer than Zoro’s ever seen them. “I know that, too,” he says.
Series
Recent series
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Violetsmith: Oblivious Kinky Disaster Gays by cabloom
Fandom One Piece (Live Action TV 2023)
26 Aug 2025
- Words:
- 218
- Works:
- 6
- Bookmarks:
- 4
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
5+1
5 times the Centaurs and other GC friends think Ilya is being a pushy or bossy twat to Shane, and one time they see Shane's true colors.
Aka, that one time Shane walked Ilya like a dog in front of the Cens and they all had to recalibrate their opinion of their captain's relationship
Series
- Part 2 of Walk Him Like a Dog
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 9,203
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 627
- Kudos:
- 8,322
- Bookmarks:
- 1,213
- Hits:
- 51,006
Bookmarked by cabloom
13 Jun 2026
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Summary
“Y-you want me to be a girl?”
Ilya rubbed the base of one of his thumbs with the other. Seeing Ilya’s shyness so plainly made Shane’s nose twitch.
“No, not all the time,” Ilya said after a moment. “And not if you don’t want to. Never if you don’t want to. I just . . . I think about it, sometimes.”
***
Ilya loves his life and his husband. But lately, he's found himself missing girls. Luckily, Shane is happy to indulge this fantasy.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 15,755
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 373
- Kudos:
- 8,433
- Bookmarks:
- 2,248
- Hits:
- 94,332
Bookmarked by cabloom
13 Jun 2026
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i know most people do by some1_around
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
17 Dec 2025
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Summary
“Do you want to fuck Svetlana?
Shane dropped his phone. “What? No. Are you fucking crazy?”
“I am not crazy,” Ilya said. “But I would like to be fucking. Maybe both of you. At once.”
“Too bad you only have one dick then,” Shane said, incredulous.
“My innocent sweet boy, Hollander. Never had a threesome before?”
“I could barely handle one girl at a time,” Shane confessed. “Much less two. Because, Rozanov, I am gay.”
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Ilya and Svetlana propose a threesome for old time's sake. Shane learns that sometimes, experimentation can be very, very rewarding. An exploration of identity and desire and, ultimately, being true to yourself.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,644
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 357
- Kudos:
- 8,530
- Bookmarks:
- 2,039
- Hits:
- 100,534
Bookmarked by cabloom
13 Jun 2026
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Duty of Care by boopboop
Fandoms: Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
09 Feb 2026
Tags
Summary
Ilya Rozanov, get loved.
Series
- Part 3 of Duty of Care
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 145,224
- Chapters:
- 25/25
- Comments:
- 6,002
- Kudos:
- 23,363
- Bookmarks:
- 7,717
- Hits:
- 742,205
Bookmarked by cabloom
12 Jun 2026
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Dinner Tonight? by FriPie
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
11 Feb 2026
Tags
Summary
There was nothing standard about Shane and Ilya's relationship, so it really shouldn't have been so surprising that they had their first date over a decade after meeting each other.
It also shouldn't be surprising that it took roughly five minutes before it turned into a competition.
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 15,122
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 1,063
- Kudos:
- 12,176
- Bookmarks:
- 3,824
- Hits:
- 138,594
Bookmarked by cabloom
02 Jun 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
"Shane had actually printed a guide for how to use a coaster and left it on their coffee table a couple months back. Ilya had taken one look at it and said it was the most passive-aggressive foreplay he'd even seen and then Shane wasn't quite sure what happened, but he ended up with his knees to his chest and carpet burn on his back."