wretched_wren
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Summary
Stede is learning that time moves differently when you’re in love.
But the thing with time now fluctuating as it does, is that Stede hasn’t quite gotten around to telling Ed that he loves him.
Series
- Part 2 of comfy boys
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Rise and Pine by wretched_wren for ridiculousinconvenientlove
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
27 Sep 2024
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Stede loves mornings with Ed. Loves being woken with kisses, or a cuppa. Loves waking first and watching Ed mumble in his sleep. He especially loves when Ed's dreams are dirty, waiting eagerly for him to wake so Stede can make his them come true.
Except this morning, Ed utters someone else's name.
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Now they've done it a fair few times and got the basics downpat, something in Stede’s diabolical brain has progressed from a state of reverent awe for the art of lovemaking and into an absolute fiend, a complete and utter hornbag. He's obsessively cataloguing positions and techniques, like some kind of mad scientist, a downright filthy researcher of all things fucking.
***
Stede wonders about the act of giving and receiving simultaneously. Ed makes him into a sandwich.
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Somewhat shamefully, it's one of the most satisfying orgasms of Stede's life. He sinks into the plush sofa, grinning as he catches his breath. He wipes his hand on his stomach, sighing contentedly. His other hand loosens around the leather, fingers trailing leisurely over the enamel pins and embroidered patches. Cool steel and rough stitches, warm leather and… something wet.
It takes a long, blissful moment for him to realise.
He's cum all over Ed's jacket.
Stede scrambles under the blanket, arms flapping as he grabs for his discarded tee. He swipes at the leather with his shirt, the mess clearing but residue remaining.
Fuck. FUCK!
Ed can't know.
Ed can never know.
⚡⚡⚡
Or, the one where Stede tries to clean jizz off Ed's jacket using a bottle of poppers.
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Get Lucky by ridiculousinconvenientlove, wretched_wren
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
04 Nov 2023
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“I… saw something in a shop once. A… shop a gentleman should perhaps not have been in, but a gentleman pirate could certainly have his run of the place, I think,” Stede suggested demurely, resting his chin on his folded hands.
“Oooh?” Ed hummed, raising up on his elbows to watch him with curious eyes.
Stede felt himself flush under the other man’s attention, but the way Ed’s tongue darted out to moisten his upper lip reassured him that he wasn’t alone in his enthusiastic jitters. “There was a set of, shall we call them… intimate scenario randomisers,” he whispered.
“Bloody sex dice??” Ed whooped, sliding his body up to fit their lips together. “You’re a maniac.”
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Stede and Ed haven't managed to properly consummate their relationship in the way they would have hoped. They decide that sex dice are the solution. (Wildly enough, they're right.)
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“You want us to capture him at Spanish Jackie’s,” Izzy says after a long moment, flat and disbelieving.
“He will face pirate justice,” Blackbeard says darkly. “For his – his many crimes.”
“Boss...” Izzy begins, and now his face is doing something else, and it’s even worse.
“His crimes against piracy, which as I stated just now are many, such as – such as –”
“You could send me to kill him,” Izzy suggests, and it’s almost gentle, which is the absolute worst thing.
“Pirate justice,” Ed hisses, trying for menacing. “Pirate crimes.”
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[Podfic] To Wear, or Break, or Keep | written by activevirtues by Tipsy_Kitty
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
09 Sep 2023
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“You could send me to kill him,” Izzy suggests, and it’s almost gentle, which is the absolute worst thing.
“Pirate justice,” Ed hisses, trying for menacing. “Pirate crimes.”
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Stede and Ed are not having sex.
To the uninformed, the things they do together may strongly resemble sex, but Stede knows better.
This is just mutual stress relief between two professional, platonic, regular, normal co-captains.
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Summary
“So, we’re innkeepers then.”
Two whim-prone middle-aged guys, in the throes of first love, make an emotionally charged decision to upend their lives completely.
Things turn out... pretty well, actually.
Post-S2 domestic fluff with a bit of character stuff thrown in because I love them both so much. Basically just gentle Gentlebeard, fixing up their inn and learning how to be together.
- Words:
- 50,176
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 7
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Summary
Stede wakes to shafts of golden light creeping across the bedsheets and strands of silver hair across his face. He smiles, reaches up to draw it aside, and Ed stirs in his arms. They’re both naked, skin warm against skin, and when he turns onto his side to wrap an arm around Ed, his cock brushes the bedsheets and there’s something—something wrong—
He sits up and throws the bedclothes off in one motion, and—
There’s a cage around his cock.