Chapter Text
Will Byers was scrounging beneath his bed with a flashlight on, when the unmistakable silver glint of a quarter caught his eye, reaching his arm out until he felt the gentle tug back of overstretched muscle, and blindly groping until he felt a cool and smooth mass beneath his fingertips, it must’ve been his lucky day because when he reeled in his arm he was surprised to see two glittering quarters. He lifted his legs a bit to place the change over on the green cotton sheet of his bed, his pile grown large enough to make a noise when rattled around, it had to be about ten quarters. He felt a bit of pride swell in his chest, and after his final pass only adding one more quarter to his collection, he knocked on his brothers door.
The wood was so thin it made a resounding sound, he steeled himself up as his brother cranked open the door, the hinges creaking out. Jonathan cracked a fresh grin to see his own brother beaming at him, Will hadn't been all this smiley lately, more reserved and occasionally filled with an odd and heavy melancholy. Jonathan has had to hold him while he's slept many times, mostly for Will, although there is solace for himself in it too. His little brothers face looked better when his cheeks were squished into a smile.
"Jon! Do you have any quarters? Me and the party are going to the arcade" Will Inquired with his eyebrows knit a little but his cheeks still pushing against his skin in the way his face so often contorted while he asked questions. Jonathan couldn't help but want to keep him smiling, so he filtered through a little clay dish on his bedside table that Will had made in the third grade, the cool clay beneath his fingertips was calming, He fished out five quarters and plopped them in Wills outstretched hands, his fingertips closing in and he smiled like the luckiest boy in the world. "Thank you so much Jon!" He giggled as he ran back to his room.
Will turned on his walkie-talkie and listened in meditation over the static until he connected, he began boasting. "I have sixteen quarters! How many do you guys have?" He grappled at his quarters, stuffing them in his green pants pockets, despite it being a sweltering summer, he refrained from shorts. It felt like opening an unhealed wound, showing his legs. Soon the walkie-talkie began jittering a glitchy melody and Dustin’s voice rang “I have four, how’d you get so many?” His tone light, Dustin had always been the lightest with him after the incident. He didn’t understand what happened and didn’t try to, he just knew some things shouldn’t be said and he refrained from saying them. Will appreciated his approach, it made Will feel like a person again. “Well Johnathan gave me five, and I found five, and I got six for sweeping Mrs. Cacciatore’s steps” he shared, giddy over his profit. “Damn, Mrs. Cacciatore pays good,I didn’t know she was stacked like that?” Dustin replied, in awe of Wills immense finesse. The truth being he did sweep, and Mrs. Cacciatore wasn’t particularly wealthy, but after everything in the news over Wills incident, he could only assume she felt pity.
Lucas’ voice buzzed in loud and strong, with a bragging tone he announced “I have twenty quarters, I mowed my neighbors lawn!” It set Will off that Lucas actually did hard work to make his bank, he didn’t just have to hear his own defiling be spread around mouth to mouth like it was schoolyard gossip. Lucas pretended it didn’t happen, he pretended like Will was any other boy and he hadn’t gone through anything at all. This should make Will feel respected, he often complained about people walking on eggshells around him, but when Lucas made crass jokes that got under Wills skin, he didn’t have the nerve to stand up and protect himself. There was an uncomfortable heat between his own thighs now as any other boy would be wearing shorts by now, but he didn’t change because he’d rather fully sweat through these pants before ever tempting fate, or worse yet, tempting another man.
He heard the prose and steady beat of another channel shifting and charge running through the walkie-talkie as Mikes voice began "I have eight. If we add all the quarters up we have forty-eight, that's plenty for the night, let's start biking there!" and as sudden as his calming voice started, it ceased to be there. Will wasn't allowed to bike, not after last time. It felt weird how things like these had to make him different. Sometimes he wishes he could be like how Lucas treated him, and laugh at jokes that were crude and sexual, but after what happened, anything regarding that area felt oddly unfunny.
Will ran downstair to his mom, who quickly Grabbed him lightly on the shoulders and tucked the collar on his shirt back into place, rubbing her finger over some imaginary dirt on his face, a habit she developed to excuse a bit of prolonged touch, as Will became quite bipolar regarding touching after what had happened. He let her do this, though he saw through the act. "Alright Will, looks like it's time to take you to the arcade" she flashed the same smile she did whenever she took him anywhere, something safe and protective about how she fawned over him, but let him go so quickly, it must have been rooted in her trust for those boys, because every bad thing had been when Will was on his own. As he reclined into the chair of the car she began talking at him.
"I don't want you separating from your group, especially not Mike, bless his little soul, he knows how to keep you safe. Don't leave the arcade, don't go off on your own, don't follow any adults anywhere, even as a group. God, are those girls coming, I always forget their names, y'know?" She yammered on, word vomit flowing out at a speed Will didn't quite process, but he understood the last few phrases.
"Max and El? Yes, mom. No need to worry" He brushed off, it was unlikely there would even be any adults at the arcade. Will could say his mother instilled a deep fear of everyone over eighteen within him, but he'd be lying, his own experiences shaped those views. He shivered whenever he passed an adult man at a supermarket, sometimes even a cold Needle would run up his spine when a teacher got close. His mother had certainly validated those fears, and maybe how he hadn't seen the mans face made then stronger, as he was among normal men, living a regular life.
"Yes, i sure do like those girls, if Mike leaves you stick with one of them. And stay close, you got it? No more than four feet" Will groaned at the strict Regulations, knowing just where in the heart they came from, but not wanting to reach that level of vulnerability he brushed off the overprotective behavior. They reached the arcade, where Lucas and Mike had already gotten there and were clipping their bikes to the rack, his mom pulled him in for a quick embrace before letting go, he sprung up out of the car and started running towards the boys.
Mikes hands immediately clapped to Will's shoulder Bones, snaking into a hug. After the Incident Mike had been more touchy, Mike started holding him closer, like he'd disappear if he wasn't held tight enough. He felt like he understood, will needed protected. A comfortable silence warmly spread before abruptly ceasing in it's tracks as Max's skateboard skidded toward them.
The rubber on asphalt made a sound adjacent to nails on a chalkboard. Mikes fingertips quickly slinked away from Will's bony shoulders and back into the pockets of his khaki shorts. He quickly spoke, his voice unexpectedly high as a result of prepubescent voice cracks,"How much do you have Max?" she reached into her small pockets on her navy shorts, and wordlessly pulled out what Will could only quickly count to be nine. She had a devilish smirk as she began to gloat "I plucked weeds from both of my Neighbors gardens!" This sent unsettling feelings down his stomach, she worked for her money too. Max didn't know what happened to Will, she just knew he got scared sometimes, and whatever happened severely sucked. Her brother had heard the stories, told her 'it wasn't something for a little girl to know', while true that upset Will, because why then was it something for a little Boy like him to know so well.
Dustin arrived and soon after El. El had only two quarters, Hopper convincing her that was all she needed. She was a bit disappointed to see everyone else had far more than her, but Mike quickly reassured her that it didn't matter, that they were pooling their money anyways.
When they made it into the arcade the blaring lights were already drilling into his temples and his stomach was already bubbling with a sharp and acute nausea. Will tried his best to smile, they had a lot of fun at the arcades. Max had the most records on the machines, with a record on 6 machines, Dustin and Will each held records on 2 machines, Lucas and Mike each held a record on 1 machine, and Eleven didn't have any, she Hardly even liked playing the games without prizes. Mike was probably the worst at video games, but none of the party dared to challenge his record, more focused on their monopoly over the whole arcade. Everyone found themselves bent over a new Machine, Will didn't have much desire to play, and after only a few plays he just began shadowing Dustin. Dustin would set seconds or thirds with hardly any effort, but even that could upset him, sending curses to spew from his mouth. With all the ragequitting and kicking of bulky machines Will had gotten quite overwhelmed. He felt a searing Pain in his chest near his ribs and a splitting dull throb on the back of his skull. As they passed through the crowd Will felt brushing over his ribs, a bulky mans arms, and his grunted Apology came out in a familiar low voice, and suddenly the spiral began again.
Will walked outside to the crisp cold air filling his nostrils, his lungs easing down into a more calmed rhythmic pattern. He sat down on the Curbside and ran his fingertips over the asphalt. It all began coming back to him, and suddenly he was there again.
He had been biking home from Mike's house after playing D&D, he had lost the trail that Dustin was following, and was skirting along the edge of the woods, his bike axels were creaking and the dirt beneath him was lumpy. He silenced his thoughts to listen to the prose of the woods, the Melodies of birds among trees and sudden steps. He biked faster, hearing the pounding of boots and squish and squelch of mud beneath them. His increasing and rapid speed as well as the unpredictability of path between rocks and mud and anthills, his bike derailed and he fell on his side. He felt how his ribs would later be bruised and propped up his bike by a tree. He dusted off the dirt caked to his shorts and tee-shirt, by the time he assessed himself clear to keep trekking homewards the footsteps were clearly close, and he turned to see a shadow lurking over him with a wolfish predatory grin, his pearly whites the only definable feature, shimmering under the moonlight like a warning sign. Will sprinted as hard as he could pelt, weaving between trees to try to wean him off his path. Eventually two large firm hands clapped his bony shoulders, calloused thumbs brushing over his neck.
Will collapsed, the touch melted him and his legs felt like gelatin. He couldn’t sprint, but he felt like he was running as he was pushed to the ground. As two firm elbows slammed his hips into the mud he felt like he was running faster than he ever had, but he was paralyzed. Soon enough his insides became his outsides as his own personal autonomy and possession was completely disregarded, also as bile and tears pooled around his head and even spilled back into his mouth. His hair was matted into mud and vomit and tears. It didn’t take long before he couldn’t scream “Stop!” anymore, and he hadn’t even realized he had been screaming it until he couldn’t and his lungs ached. When he was sure he could fight no longer, although his version of fighting was laying still and staying alive, he had been flipped over and repeated. His own mouth wide open, getting a mouthful of ripped out hair, bile, tears, and mud, and that was the most bearable part. He wanted to die in the most genuine way he has ever felt, he wished that now would be the time everything stopped, all his dreams of a future didn’t matter if this could just end now. He found himself thinking of his mom and his brother, who they might’ve been waiting for him at home. He felt his knees dig into sharp rocks, he was sure something on his body was broken and most of it was numb.He closed his eyes and waited for it to all pass and eventually it did, not nearly soon enough, but just as surely the man spat on his naked and abandoned form and walked off. When Will was sure he was gone he reached his arms out to lift himself into suspension, only to find no strength left. His limp arms hiked his shorts up to his waist to avoid further embarrassment and briskly dozed off.
Will only sobered up to reality when he felt Mike’s knees knock into his and he realized it looked as though he was having another episode, and sure enough below his sneakers on the black shiny concrete there was a pool of his own vomit. He hadn’t particularly noticed what parts were present and what was past in his mental recounting of his profanation. Mike silently noted how he was aware of his surroundings and placed a steady hand on Will’s knee. Will whipped his head around to look at mikes eyes, they were a constant mahogany that sent a wave of meditation over him. Will reached out and wrapped his own bony fingers over Mikes hand.
“Do you wanna talk about it?” Mike asked with careful trepidation, as though Will were some kind of lit fuse. Will felt the unsettling grumble beneath his ribs of resting queasiness, he took Mikes hand and rose to his feet, bending over the trash can and dramatically hurling. Mikes gentle expression dropped at he took one hand to Wills head and the other in warm fingertip embrace. Will pressed his stomach to the rim as if to expel any lingering lunch, anything inside him. He silently wiped his mouth on the sleeve of his jacket, not paying mind to the mess. He knew his mother may lightly scold him, but he really didn’t like having a puke mustache.
“I- not really. Just flashbacks. How are you guys doing in the arcade?” Will quickly diverted, gathering himself. He tucked in his shirt again, fixing the collar in lieu of his mothers hands. He carded his fingers through his hair, combing out the frizz until its all straight again. His took mikes fingers and wove them between his own into a calm handhold.
Mike tightened his hand into a firm grip before answering “Dustin set another record, Max probably did too but you know she’s not the braggy type. They’re so good at video games, Lucas and Dustin are still on the machines but Max, El, and me were all gonna play some games to win prizes, ‘ya wanna join” they calmly walked back into the arcade, Will briskly nodded as those games were more his speed. The blaring lights felt more cool, almost exciting instead of overwhelming.
As quickly as they started Max and Mike were in some competition for El’s favor, winning her armloads of candy. Eleven was trying her best to win something for everyone, but wasn’t too good at the games (without her powers, which she swore off using) and could only win fun sized. Will hadn’t minded at all when she giggled and handed him a Reese’s cup, quickly shoving it into his mouth. He had won a few candy boxes, skittles and Reese’s Pieces, putting the skittles down by Mikes feet as a little ‘thank you’ for helping him outside.
After a few plays he leaned on the wall and disassociated, content with his two boxes of candy he’d later tear up in his room while drawing. He hadn’t noticed how long he’d been staring until El had her arms full and Mike came up to him, a box of Whoppers in one hand and Reese’s Pieces in the other, he smiled and reached his arms out to present them like an offering. “Only the finest for my best friend” He grinned, Will took them from his hands, freeing Mike to do a chivalrous bow. Will felt doted on, it was pleasant, made the night feel like it was worth more.
“Why me, I though you were spoiling El?” Will asked, while appreciative, he was also utterly befuddled. Mike beamed like a mix between winning the lottery and donating millions to charity.
“Because! Well, El already has more than enough, and you need some! You need cheering up. Anyways we all ran outa money, so I guess were done. When’s you mom picking you up?” Mike yammered, taking wills wrist immediately into a light grip, it sent a jolt of shock up Will’s spine before he melted in as if it were the most normal thing. A little sense of safety.
“Uhh thank you… my moms picking me up at 8:30.” His eyes shifted to the clock at a solid 8:29. The night was over.
He hopped back into his moms car quietly, reserved. She invited El to be driven back home because she had walked and because she couldn’t stand to have another child attacked. Will sat shotgun, leaving Eleven to the back seat, filling the seat next to her with her exorbitant amount of candy. Their mother let of a full bodied chuckle.
“Well looks like you two had fun. El, how’d you get all that candy? You didn’t use your powers, did you?” His mom chuckled. Will tightened his lips into a straight line, reaching his fingertips to his moms forearm as if to signal something is wrong. He looked at her with big and sunken eyes, she replied with a sympathetic glare. Their eye conversation was quickly interrupted by Eleven.
“It was so fun. Mike and Max won me the candy, I didn’t use my powers,I hardly played” Eleven responded, she had a gentle smile on her face. She had truly enjoyed the night. Will felt protective over her sometimes, but more often than not he felt jealous. She could be happy with such ease.
His mother quickly prompted him, “Well how was your night, Will?”
Will had to sit in thought to genuinely assess how his night was, but once he began the words ran, like they had somewhere to be. “It was okay -I guess- We set records on a machine, a number one, Dustin did. I was getting really frustrated and overwhelmed so I went outside alone which I know I’m not supposed to do and I had the flashbacks -to you know when- and I was really scared and I basically upchucked my whole lunch… which I’ve been doing a bit lately, but really it went well after that. Mike helped me up and won me some candy.” He disjointedly rambled. He realized now he might have said a bit too much in front of Eleven. He had always said he was fine in front of her, he wasn’t even sure she knew the whole story, just ‘really bad things happened to Will’, which grossly understated his trauma.
Joyce looked at him with sympathy, El stared back with a blank expression, processing his sudden vulnerability. His mother started “Well I’m glad you had a bit of fun, and I’m sorry that you had to remember all that. If you want you can stay home from school tomorrow, if not I’m still picking you up at 2:45, you can see the doctor about that sudden nausea” They parked at his house, the whole ride passing by in a blur and his mom steadied herself on his arm as Eleven ran up to her room. “I’m going to school tomorrow, I don’t want my friends worried about me” His mom smiled warmly though it crinkled with mild worry, she worried herself sick over him.
Will had been laying on his bed for hours, playing out to himself every mistake he made and all the next ones he could, after some time of frightening himself halfway to sleep and up-chucking three times he steeled himself up to knock on the mahogany door, its resounding almost a melody. Wordlessly Jonathan opened the door, in plaid pajama pants and nothing more, and took Will by his bony arm to the bed. Once Will had settled himself onto the bed, his head propped up on a pillow and three blankets engulfing himself, a bucket beside the bed incase of any midnight pukings, Jonathan curled next to him, one hand skewed across the bed and the other firmly resting on Wills ribcage. They were tranquil, the night casting over them and clinging.
Night grabbed him tightly and he shifted his head out of the gravel and out of the bile and out of the mud, his hair was caked with mud and currently resting on an anthill, the light scurrying filling him with unease, he grabbed his legs tight and curled up, doing his best to soothe himself to doze off, if just for an hour.
Will awoke to the bucket besides him full and his stomach growling thunderously and Jonathan’s hands shifted so the left was on his lower ribcage and his right was on his head. He let himself drift back to sleep.