Chapter Text
13 July, 2003
Shane couldn’t fall asleep. He missed home, he missed his parents. He knew they were not far away, but he had never slept somewhere without them before. It was the first time he stayed in his regular hockey camp overnight. He has been going to this camp since he was eight but it was near his parent’s cottage so they always drove him every day. This year they thought it might be a good idea for him to stay overnight so he could get used to sleeping with other kids in the same room. He was twelve years old which meant that next year he’ll start playing with a AAA team in Kingston.
His mom brought Shane to camp ‘right on time’, which meant thirty minutes before the bus that took some of the kids from their towns to the camp got there. It was also a lot earlier than most of the other parents who dropped their kids off got there. But his mom had something to talk to the staff about, so they had to get to the camp early. Additionally, having alone time before everyone else got there helped Shane to adjust. It meant he had time to put everything in his cabin like he wanted it and to choose his bunk bed. It also let him forget about the fact that he didn’t know or remember any of the other kids in the camp. He didn’t get overwhelmed with all the new faces the moment he got there.
When his mom finished talking with the staff, she came to help him put his sheets he brought from home on the bed. There was a particular texture of sheets Shane could sleep on, everything else felt itchy to him. He already finished putting everything else in its proper place and now he had to say goodbye to her. When saying goodbye, his mom told him that he should go lay down before everyone else got there, so he’ll be refreshed for the week. Shane might have been close to crying when she left, but no tears were shed so he counted it as a success. His mom hugged him goodbye, squeezing him really tight, which Shane liked and already got sad that he wouldn’t get another hug until the end of camp.
He tried doing like his mom told him to, he really did, but just when he almost fell asleep, the other kids assigned to his cabin got there. When the counselor that was assigned to their cabin saw that everyone finally arrived, he asked them to sit in a circle and introduce themselves to each other. He introduced himself as Paul Rogers and threw a ball to one of the other kids, asking him to introduce himself. No one really wanted to do that, so each one just said his own name, Shane was the last one to get the ball and say his name. When everyone finished Paul got up and told them he was going to show them the dining area.
He told them that they all had to go see where it was, but that if someone brought dinner from home and didn’t want to eat inside, they could go back to the cabin after. Shane brought a tuna sandwich from home, because he wasn’t sure what he'd think about the food in the dining room. So, after Paul took them to their cabin designated table Shane asked if he could return to eat outside. The dining area was big and Shane really didn’t want to deal with the noise of all the campers right now. He wanted quiet, so he went back to the cabin and got his sandwich. He didn’t want to eat on the bed so he found a patch of grass to sit in and quietly ate it.
When he finished eating, he got back into the cabin and into bed. He chose not to change his clothes, because the others hadn't returned from the dining room and he wasn’t sure if they had other things to do before they could go to sleep. But Shane really hoped that he could rest now for a bit.
Unfortunately for him, when the other kids got back from dinner and after Paul went to his room inside the cabin, they were very loud. They barely stopped talking the entire evening and he just laid awake in his bunk bed, unable to rest and he wasn't sure how he'll go to sleep today. It was only his first night and he had no clue how he was going to spend a full week like this. Shane knew his parents had a point in finally making him sleep at camp. Starting from next year, he was going to have to share a room with other players every time he went to a competition. But he thought that there was a difference between sleeping in a cabin with eleven other kids and sharing a room with only one other kid.
Not managing to sleep and feeling restless, Shane decided to go to train at the camp’s hockey rink. Since the staff knew Shane from previous years and wanted him to be able to stay overnight, they agreed to let him go to the rink on his own volition if he had a hard time. He thought that it was good that they built an arena on the camp site; in Shane’s first year at the camp the arena was in the nearby town and they needed to take the bus there every day to get there. Now he could just go to the rink and train more whenever he felt like it. Shane really needed to clear his head right now and he knew that going to the rink would be the right decision, hockey always had that effect on him.
When Shane arrived at the rink he found out he was not alone. There was already an older boy there, shooting pucks into one of the nets. The boy was very tall, probably close to 6'0 and had broad shoulders for a teenager. Shane found it comforting to know that at least he wasn't the only one who couldn’t fall asleep, he wondered if the other boy also needed hockey to calm down.
He put his bag on the bench near the ice and put on his skates and safety equipment. “May I join you?” Shane asked while skating with his stick in his hands towards the older boy. Most of the time, Shane wasn’t the one to start conversations, but he remembered it was impolite to just start playing without asking first, and he didn’t want to intrude on the other boy's space.
It would be nice to train with someone else. Shane loved having varied styles of training, that’s why he also skated with speed skaters and figure skaters, the different training styles helped him improve his skating and other abilities. Shane didn’t get a chance yet to train with someone older than him who had more experience than him. He knew that he needed the experience, because he was going to play against plenty of older and more experienced players when he’ll get to the NHL.
“Oh, hello, didn’t see you there. Sure you can join, it’ll be fun to have company anyways. I’m Scott Hunter.” The teenager turned around to look at him and offered his hand for a handshake.
“Shane Hollander.” He took the offered hand and shook it. Shane was never good at polite conversation, he was always puzzled about what was the right thing to say, what was expected of him. He introduced himself to Scott, but he wasn’t sure what else he was supposed to say, so he just asked the question that he was thinking about since entering the rink, “Are you allowed to be here?” Shane really liked order and rules, he knew he was here rightfully, since his parents got permission from the staff for him to be here, but he didn’t know about Scott. He didn’t want to help another camper do something against the rules.
Scott looked at him with a weird expression. It probably wasn’t the right thing to ask first? What else was Shane supposed to say? He just needed to make sure they both could be there, he didn’t want to be an accomplice to breaking the rules!
“I’m actually allowed to be here after hours, yes. The camp knows about it, what about you, kid?” Scott returned the question.
Shane's shoulders loosened, he didn’t even realize he was stressed out about being here with Scott while not knowing if it was a fine thing to do. “It’s my first time staying overnight at the camp so my parents made an agreement with the staff that if I feel homesick I can come and clear my head at the rink.” Shane explained and started to stretch so he could start playing safely. That's all he needed to know, now he could be here with Scott and play some hockey.
“You’ve been in the camp before this year?” Scott wondered, and shot a puck to the net.
Questions were good, Shane knew how to answer questions, he could have a conversation with Scott if the older boy was the one leading it. “Yes, I've been coming here since I was eight years old but I only did the daily program until now. My parents have a summer cottage not so far away, so they were able to bring me here every day.” He answered, he knew his parents were close, but now that he was going to be a few days without them, he started feeling homesick and uncomfortable about camp.
“Nice, for me it is my third year, I do sleepaway every year. What other activities did you choose to participate in? I chose biking and climbing.” Scott prompted.
“I decided it’s finally time to go kayaking and I chose archery to work on my wrist movements. I thought it could improve the way I’m holding my stick so it would be easier for me to steal the puck.” Shane explained with a smile, he liked thinking about getting better at hockey.
“Oh, so everything you do is about hockey?” Scott asked fondly.
“Yes. I can’t believe they didn’t let us train at the rink today. If they wanted us to do orientation they should bring us to the rink and do it while we pass pucks; it is the same as throwing a ball and saying our name to each other, just as hockey training.” Shane scoffed and hit the puck a little bit more forcefully. It frustrated him, he wanted to play hockey, that was what he came here for, and the orientation was awful. They really could have done it in the rink with a puck instead of a ball in the cabin.
“It’s actually a much better idea to introduce ourselves, they really should have done it like that.” Scott agreed.
“Yes, that’s why I came to train now, and tomorrow we’ll need to introduce ourselves again to our hockey group because we haven’t even met the girls yet, so this evening was a waste of time.” Shane stated bitterly. Shane wasn’t that strict about his training yet but he promised himself that next year he will be, so it’s good to start thinking seriously about his training schedule now.
Scott chuckled, “I’m with you kid, you’re right, if we want an NHL career we need to train as much as we can, in every opportunity we get.”
“I’m glad you are serious about hockey just as much as I am, most kids I play with aren’t like that.” Shane nodded.
“I don’t have anything else except hockey in my life.” Scott revealed and Shane smiled at him. Shane wasn’t sure what more he should say but he liked Scott, he really needed to get to know other kids who were actually serious about hockey. All the kids he trained with were not serious enough, that’s why he preferred to be with Joe and Dev. They were dedicated just as much as him, just in different sports.
Both kids continued to shoot pucks to the nets quietly for a little bit. Shane only knew how to talk about hockey but he didn’t want to push it too much, and weird Scott out. Most of the kids at camp got startled by his hockey knowledge and talent and didn’t want to hang out with him. Not that he cared, he was here for hockey not the friendship, but Scott seemed a bit different then the other kids.
“You came here alone or with a group?” Scott broke the silence. Shane stilled, it was like Scott knew he just thought about the fact that he didn't have many hockey friends and decided to ask about it.
“Alone. I don't know any of the other kids at my cabin, they seem… interesting.” Shane mumbled, they were not interesting and they weren’t very nice, but he didn’t want to say something negative about them after meeting them only a few hours ago, so that was the only description he could think of.
“You didn’t bond with them yet, ah?” Scott realized, seeing right through him. Shane barely said anything, he didn’t know how Scott figured it out.
“No, they already started laughing and complaining about everything, joking how awful the camp was going to be because they had to play with girls. They could have chosen a different camp if they didn’t want to train with girls. It’s the only camp with joint training for boys and girls in Central Canada.” Shane mentioned exasperatedly.
“You don’t agree with them? Do you like training with girls?” Scott stopped shooting pucks and looked at Shane, waiting for an answer.
Shane felt more comfortable in conversations when he had something else to do, so he continued to shoot pucks to the nets while he answered the question. “I like to train with a variety of players to improve myself. I think it is really important to train with girls. The older kids could work on stealing the puck from someone smaller and it’s nice to have hockey without checking. Just like it could be useful for me to train with you because you are much bigger than me and I don’t have many opportunities to play hockey with older and taller kids.” Shane doesn’t talk that much regularly but he somehow felt comfortable with Scott, he was busy with hockey, so the conversation didn’t stress him out so much.
“Do you want to play against me? So you could train with someone older?” Scott offered after a moment.
Shane finally turned to look at him with a smile. “Yes! Let’s go!” He exclaimed, that was what he wanted, though he didn’t think Scott would offer it. Shane was very glad he did.
Scott really liked going to the hockey camp, he didn’t have many opportunities to do fun stuff these days. Going to the camp the first year was the first time he felt a bit better after his parents death and the move to Canada. He was only twelve when they died and he was left all alone in the world, and got moved to a different country suddenly.
Thomas Wright paid for the camp for him, he was a philanthropist who focused on helping athletes who offered scholarships. He knew Scott’s parents for years, Tom knew his mother from the time she played hockey in the college leagues and he gave scholarships for some of the college students she coached. After his parents death Tom promised Scott he would help him. He made sure his hockey career stayed on track.
Tom found a boarding school for him in Canada with a good hockey program. Scott was twelve at the time and it was very scary for him to move to a whole new country. But he knew it was better than staying in the US and finding himself in foster care, where he could have been tossed from one house to another. He couldn’t have proper hockey training if he was in foster care. He didn’t know what he would do if he also lost hockey, in addition to losing everything else in his life.
The boarding school was a good solution. But it wasn’t home, Scott stayed there for the whole summer except the one week he was at the camp. He was so lonely but the camp helped him forget that for one week. That’s why he liked coming to this camp, it was the only time he had in recent years when he felt he could have some fun. He felt lighter and free at camp; he didn’t feel like a burden on everyone else here.
Scott was at the boarding school for a year and a half until the hockey program was shut down at the end of the school year when he was fourteen. Scott was suddenly lost again in the world with no place to go. It was hard and devastating. He went to the camp right out of school, and by the end of the week Tom arranged a billet family for him in Quebec. Scott didn’t even think about the option of a billet family since he wasn’t fifteen yet, but Tom got a special approval for him to stay with one. Scott couldn’t complain about anything, he at least had a place to sleep and could keep playing hockey.
Last year he packed all of his equipment in the duffel for camp because he assumed he wouldn't return to the boarding school. When it was time to pack for this year, Scott found himself doing the same again, he couldn’t leave anything behind, fearing the worst. He probably shouldn’t think that there might be a reason he wouldn’t return to his billet family when camp finished, but he just felt wary and he didn’t have much equipment anyway, so he packed everything ‘just in case’. His whole life could be packed into two big bags, and he only needed two because of his hockey equipment.
His billet family didn’t help him get to camp, he traveled alone to Trois-Rivières and from there the camp offered transportation to the camp. It was in Quebec, so they offered transportation to the camp, fortunately for him.
He arrived at camp, met the other boys at the cabin, ate dinner at the dining area, and went to train. Tom wanted the camp to let him train after hours last year because he missed training due to the closing of the hockey program in his school, and when he asked the camp director, he told him he had permission to go and train alone. Scott appreciated the ability to train alone, but he knew Tom used his sob story to make them agree to it. He hated the pity, he didn’t want special treatment because he was an orphan, but the solution was also good on his end, he really needed hockey to calm himself down.
Scott put on his skates and helmet and grabbed his stick, he didn’t put on the pads, since he was going to train alone anyways, so he could loosen off some of the safety gear. He did stretches and circled the rink a couple of times before he started shooting pucks to the net. It was soothing, he really needed it.
He didn’t know how much time had passed until another kid got inside the rink and started to prepare himself for practice. Scott pretended he didn’t see him, being busy with his own training. The rink was big enough for them both, and he didn’t want to spook the kid.
The kid was a short asian boy, and he seemed younger than Scott, probably eleven or twelve years old. He took his time to dress properly and put on all the safety equipment before he started skating towards Scott.
The boy didn’t introduce himself, just asked if he could train with him. Scott was on board, it would be nice to have company. He was feeling lonely, at the boarding school he had friends from his team and they did everything together as a team, but he didn’t have the same relationship with his hockey team last year.
So, at least it was a good opportunity to meet someone new. Scott introduced himself and got to know that the kid was called Shane Hollander. Before Scott had the chance to say anything, Shane asked him if he was allowed to be here. That wasn’t the question Scott expected to get, he wasn’t sure if maybe Shane snuck out to the rink or wanted to threaten him so he’ll be here alone? The kid seemed nice so he probably wasn't going to threaten him, so the question was a bit weird.
Scott had permission to be in the rink, of course, but he was not going to explain to this kid why exactly he got it. He was not going to tell a stranger that everyone takes pity on him because of his sob story. So, he doesn’t explain why he has permission, letting Shane assume whatever he thinks the explanation could be.
He didn’t get the chance to ask Shane if he had permission to be at the rink as well, because Shane immediately started talking about his parents, who were sweet and talked to the camp to let him use the rink after hours.
Scott hated how his heart wrenched every time someone talked about their parents in that way. But it wasn’t anyone else's fault that Scott was still saddened by his parents death even after almost three years. He clenched his stick forcefully, and asked Shane about the camp. He couldn’t let him continue to talk about his parents, it was just going to make Scott feel a lot worse.
To distract himself Scott returned to his training and started shooting pucks to the net. Shane mentioned his parents again, he probably had a good relationship with them. Scott decided he was just going to lead this conversation and ask questions, to stray Shane from the topic. He really needed to distract himself and he hoped until they finished up here he wouldn't think about his parents or else he won’t be able to go to sleep tonight.
And it goes well, they talk about hockey, which is a safe subject, and Shane cares about hockey a lot so it’s making it easy for Scott. It’s fun to talk with Shane, hockey is simple, they can just shoot pucks to the net, nothing beyond that. They both want to be in the NHL, they both have high ambitions, Scott was thinking to himself that he was really gonna like this kid.
Scott noticed that Shane was only reacting to him, he was not starting or continuing the conversation by himself. He waited for Scott to lead; he wasn't the one who initiates any change in the conversation. Scott wondered if it was just lack of interest or something else. Maybe Shane is a bit lonely, it probably wasn’t easy to be an asian kid in an all-white sport.
So, he asks if Shane came to the camp with a group of other players, he knew some other kids did, half of Scott’s cabin play together all-year round, they signed in together. It was a logical question, one that might help Scott learn more about Shane, beyond the hockey part.
He got his answer quickly. Shane tried to stay neutral and not say something bad about his cabinmates, but he was a really bad liar. Scott could clearly understand from Shane that the environment in the cabin wasn’t good, he hoped for the kid they weren’t outwardly racist towards him, at least not on day one.
Shane told him that what bothered him were the jokes about playing with girls, which was intriguing, Shane was the first person Scott met at this camp who actually wanted to play with them. He was not like everyone else, he was probably a lot more respectful then the rest of the kids. With Shane being a part of a minority group, Scott assumed he knew what it was like to be picked on because people thought you didn’t belong in places. It was nice to meet someone like this, even at Shane’s age kids were already misogynistic.
He noticed that Shane barely looked at him while they talked, sure they were talking while shooting pucks, but Scott still glanced at him from time to time, Shane though was completely focused and didn’t even look at him until he offered they’ll play together.
Scott was a big kid, physically, with wide shoulders, and hockey was a physical game, so he wasn’t sure it was a good idea to offer Shane to play against each other. But Shane was grinning when he offered, the kid clearly was up for the challenge and Scott couldn’t say no after he offered it. Besides, Shane was correct, he should train with older boys, he looked like he probably was not going to grow to be a particularly tall guy, so it could do good for him to train with someone bigger like Scott.
He skated to the middle of the rink so they could do a face-off but Shane didn’t get in position, he just stared at Scott. “Are you coming?” Scott asked, a bit confused.
“Aren’t you going to suit up?” Shane asked, gesturing at Scott. Right he put only his helmet and left aside all of the rest of his safety gear. But seriously, it was only the two of them, he didn’t need all of the gear.
“Why? We said no checking, I don’t need all the pads for a one on one game.” Scott objected.
“It's still dangerous, you could get seriously hurt.” Shane retorted.
“Come on, kid, it’s going to be fine, I’m not injury-prone.” Scott promised softly and that worked because Shane approached him reluctantly. He hoped he didn’t majorly mess up the interaction.
Scott had no plans to return to the benches to put the pads and other equipment, he didn’t care enough about it. He always wore them when he played hockey, but when he trained he stopped wearing everything, it’s not like anyone will notice if he’ll get hurt, nobody was going to care about it anyway.
Shane was fast and won the face-off, Scott was the one who dropped the puck which might have affected his dexterity but he didn’t mind, it was fun. Scott barely could reach Shane, he skated to the net so fast. Scott noticed at the beginning that Shane was a bit stiff, he was probably still worried about the lack of safety gear.
After a few minutes it seemed Shane forgot about it completely because he was very loose and serious about their hockey game. Scott wouldn’t want to admit to someone that a twelve year old kicked his ass on the rink. Shane knew how to utilize his size to his own advantage in the rink and Scott thought he had the potential to be a very good hockey player based on the game they were playing right now.
Scott didn’t know how much time they were on the ice, playing. He had assumed someone would come to look for them by now, but no one came. They sat on the bench near the rink, breathing heavily. Scott took out his water bottle to drink up. After he finished half of the water he noticed Shane wasn’t doing the same. The kid came to train and forgot to bring a water bottle with him? That’s weird, he was so strict about the safety gear, not bringing water felt a bit contradictory.
“Don’t you want to drink as well?” Scott wondered, glancing at Shane who was red from the strain of the exercise they just did.
Shane looked at him puzzled, like he really forgot you needed to drink after exercising. He opened his bag and tried to look for a bottle. But the kid was a really bad liar, Scott got the feeling he knew he didn’t bring a bottle and he just didn’t want to admit it. “I forgot.” he said eventually.
“Take it.” Scott declared and pushed the bottle into Shane’s hand. Shane nodded and drank up from the bottle.
“Thanks,” Shane told him after handing him the empty bottle back, “I’m sorry I finished it, I didn’t notice how much I drank.”
“No problem, I offered it to you, it’s quite alright.” Scott assured him and started to untie his skates.
Shane grinned at him, “So that was fun.”
“For you. I can’t believe you beat me.” Scott groaned fondly.
“I’m really good.” Shane said, he wasn’t smug or arrogant but he had self confidence, probably more than Scott had. People told Scott he was a good player all the time, but since his parents died he always thought they were only nice because they pitied him.
Scott took out his watch and saw that it was already around midnight, it was very late and they had an early morning tomorrow. “Are you feeling better now? Do you think you could fall asleep?” Scott questioned, not wanting to push or say directly that they should return to their cabins if Shane isn’t ready.
“Yes, thank you for that, you really helped.” Shane answered and got up after he put his shoes back on. Scott was a bit surprised by his abruptness, but Shane knew what he wanted and it was a good thing for him, and he liked his directness.
“Good, I’m glad, anyways, it’s really late. We should return to our cabins, it was nice meeting you.” Scott smiled at him while he placed his duffel on his arm.
“Likewise,” Shane stated and somehow got out of the arena faster than Scott. That kid was something special, but maybe this was just the friendship Scott needs, regular hockey players could be exhausting sometimes.