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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Shane Hollander woke up early on the morning of the MLH Awards. He went for a run. He had lunch with Hayden Pike. He kissed Ilya Rozanov in a bathroom. He fucked Ilya Rozanov in his hotel room.

    Shane Hollander woke up early on the morning of the MLH Awards.

    Again. And again. And again.

    (Shane relives the 2014 MLH Awards over and over again. Alternative title: Shane Hollander learns to ask for what he wants.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    46,125
    Chapters:
    27/27
    Comments:
    1,106
    Kudos:
    1,464
    Bookmarks:
    364
    Hits:
    30,254

    28 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Shane’s brain cycled rapidly through a half-dozen celebrities, porn actors, Grindr profiles, every attractive bartender who’d ever served him a beer, trying to find a comparison for this level of outrageously concentrated beauty in one person, but he was drawing a blank.

    The man—Ilya Rozanov, Facilities Attendant, his badge read—gestured around the supply closet. “I help you find something?”

    --
    Canon-divergent AU set during the 2017-18 MLH season. Shane Hollander doesn’t have a single Cup to his name when he meets a very hot and very annoying janitor who works at the Metros stadium.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,863
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    509
    Kudos:
    2,056
    Bookmarks:
    717
    Hits:
    17,138

    19 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    “Go?” Rozanov repeats, and Shane thinks he manages to nod, thinks he manages to spin some kind of excuse that he knows Rozanov doesn’t really buy, but he needs to go. He needs to get out of here. He needs to find somewhere quiet and calm where he can ride out this panic and painful tightness until he can catch his breath again. He needs-

    He needs to go.

    “I’m sorry,” he says, turning heel and resisting the urge to just book it right for the front door only because he’d rather not have to explain to Hayden why he returned from a hookup with Boston Lily in men’s clothes that he certainly didn’t leave in.

    It’s not until he makes it halfway up the stairs to Rozanov’s bedroom that it occurs to him in a cold rush that it isn’t just anxiety that makes it this hard to breathe.

    “No,” he tells himself firmly, white knuckling the bannister and trying to take a deep breath just to prove that he can.

    It wheezes.

    (how the tuna meltdown is averted through the power of food allergies and anaphylaxis)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,169
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    362
    Kudos:
    6,226
    Bookmarks:
    1,410
    Hits:
    37,278

    12 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “Well, I guess you got what you wanted from me already,” Hollander continued. “Whatever. Fuck you.”

    “Wait, no, Hollander.” Ilya turned, throwing an arm into Hollander’s path. “That’s not—”

    “No, it’s fine. Stupid of me to expect anything else.” Hollander shook his head, gaze downcast, the barest hint of angry pink tinging his freckled cheeks. “Thanks for making it good, at least.”

    It. His first time.

    Ilya was the worst sort of asshole.

    ---

    In Sochi, Shane isn’t shy about calling out Ilya for ghosting after getting what he wanted. Once they’re safely away from Russia, Ilya forces himself to be honest with Shane about what that first time meant.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,416
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    94
    Kudos:
    2,434
    Bookmarks:
    315
    Hits:
    11,779

    09 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    He figures Ilya would be pretty surprised if he showed up to his house out of the blue. Surprised enough to be put off, probably. Shane is way too bad of a liar to think of any plausible excuse. If this is really happening, if Shane is actually by some miracle getting another shot at this, then he’s going to have to play this smart. His impatience to see Ilya again will have to be tempered. He’s not sure how time travel works, but he has the sneaking suspicion that one wrong move could unravel everything.

    Ilya is alive.

    Just the thought of it is enough to make Shane crack his first smile in a year.

    --

    AU in which Ilya dies in the Centaurs' plane crash. A year later, careless with grief, Shane drives his car into a blizzard and wakes up in Boston, in 2016. When faced with the opportunity to do it right this time, and keep Ilya for good, Shane knows that every decision he makes will be crucial. It's terrifying, but Ilya once told him that he's brave. Now it's up to Shane to prove it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,149
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    289
    Kudos:
    6,365
    Bookmarks:
    1,729
    Hits:
    52,842

    06 Jun 2026

  6. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Ilya tsks. “Yes, I give a shit about Marleau. If it was anywhere else… I wouldn’t be able to call and threaten his new captain. But it’s you.”
    Shane breathes that in. There’s something complex in that sentence that he can’t even begin to unpack. But it’s you.
    “I’ll take care of him, Rozanov. You have my word. I look out for my team.”
    Ilya sighs softly. “I know you do, Hollander.” His voice is different now. The jig is up. He hesitates but forces the words out of his mouth. “I’m glad it’s you.”

    aka

    Cliff Marleau gets traded to Montreal and suddenly Shane's teammates with Ilya's best friend. Right as they adjust to the new dynamics, Ilya gets traded too. Shane and Ilya decide to see what it would've been like to flirt and fall in love in front of their team, in front of their friends.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,513
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    375
    Kudos:
    3,221
    Bookmarks:
    743
    Hits:
    30,989

    05 Jun 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    fun light teammate AU

  7. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Ilya Rozanov has been drafted by Boston, the number one pick overall, but his father doesn't want him moving to America and so takes steps to block his visa. He's going to have to go back to Russia and stay there forever and that, thinks Shane Hollander, is wrong.

    It's so wrong that Shane can't stop himself from doing something about it. Even though that something is the most reckless, the only reckless thing he's ever done in his life. He marries Rozanov in secret, to keep him out of Russia and put him on a path to Canadian citizenship.

    Shane's got a five-year plan to get him there and when you have a plan nothing can go wrong. Right? Right. When you have a solid plan and a marriage that's on paper only there's no risk of feelings getting involved. Not on Rozanov's part and certainly not on Shane's.

    Right???

    (or, the story of how Shane Hollander fell in love with his own husband)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    150,160
    Chapters:
    21/21
    Comments:
    6,683
    Kudos:
    22,234
    Bookmarks:
    9,121
    Hits:
    755,746

    31 May 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    long secret marriage AU, this is the one where they end up in quebec city

  8. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Shrugging one shoulder far more casually than he possibly feels, Ilya says, “I like both. Is secret, okay?”

    “Okay,” Hollander says, voice cracking.

    He doesn’t say anything else. The air’s so heavy around them that it feels like being in the middle of a scrum, the weight and heat of all those bodies pressing down on you. Danger always feels like hockey; it’s the most dangerous thing Ilya knows, except for this. Everything dangerous in his life involves men’s bodies and just how close he can get to them. Closer than he probably should.

    A year after mysteriously dropping out of the 2009 draft, Shane Hollander is signed by the Boston Raiders, right behind Ilya Rozanov. Having the two biggest stars in the league on the same line is great for Boston — but playing alongside their worst rival was never exactly in Shane or Ilya's plans. Especially not when staying away from each other starts to feel just as impossible as getting along.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    222,222
    Chapters:
    28/28
    Comments:
    17,522
    Kudos:
    44,625
    Bookmarks:
    17,394
    Hits:
    2,029,328

    28 May 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    teammate AU, timeline ~= HR

  9. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    In another life — or maybe the next one, or maybe the one before — Ilya Rozanov learns that some roads only lead to one place. No matter how you take them, the wolves are always waiting at the end.

    Maybe that's why, in December 2008, Ilya wakes up with the distinct, inexplicable sense, that he has already lived this life before.

    Some things, it turns out, are inevitable. The question is whether he is.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    92,100
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Comments:
    942
    Kudos:
    1,438
    Bookmarks:
    638
    Hits:
    28,954

    25 May 2026

  10. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Shane Hollander is a man who thrives on structure, routine, the solid ground of a ten-year plan. Ilya likes that about him, likes the embracing squeeze of having a life organized in tandem with Shane.

    No one would call Ilya a man who thrives on structure. But it’s there, if not in his DNA then in the patterns of his brain. A call-and-response of: they do this, I do that.

    When Ilya’s life is flayed open for the world to dissect, how will they push-and-pull their way back towards what was once a well-organized life?


    “I thought we could go through the schedules and figure out what days we’ll be in the same cities this season, or when either of us have a couple of days off in a row. Maybe make a shared calendar, so we c—”

    “A sex calendar? Your parents are arriving in thirty minutes, and you are proposing making a sex calendar?” Oh, this was delicious. He’d be able to eat out on this for years, if Shane was willing to give him that long.

    “It’s not a sex calendar! It’s just … when we might be able to see each other,” he finished, already sounding defeated.

    “And what are you planning on doing when we are seeing each other? Not fucking?”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    47,947
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Collections:
    14
    Comments:
    4,230
    Kudos:
    13,276
    Bookmarks:
    5,349
    Hits:
    240,408

    20 May 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    canon divergent after HR, different path to end of TLG

  11. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Rozanov looked up at Shane with a crooked grin that— he didn’t love it, okay? He just felt a normal amount of what you feel with a fuckbuddy who you’re mostly having sex with so you win hockey games.

    or

    Shane and Rozanov exchanged blow jobs before a winning game and now they have to exchange blow jobs before every game.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,548
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    160
    Kudos:
    924
    Bookmarks:
    165
    Hits:
    8,800

    18 May 2026

  12. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Shane (to himself): This is great. I'm going to get a good grade in friends with benefits, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve,

    Or:

    When Shane sticks it out at Ilya's house, and the tuna meltdown doesn't happen, he still walks away confused about what Ilya actually WANTS from him. When an opportunity presents itself in the form of Rose Landry and a very thorough PR relationship contract, Shane decides to take advantage of it to show Ilya that he can be a totally chill and normal friend with benefits, and definitely isn't too attached.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,380
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    379
    Kudos:
    4,015
    Bookmarks:
    758
    Hits:
    19,390

    16 May 2026

  13. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “You…wanted to see me?” He asks, barely resisting a wince at how awkwardly it comes out. “After yesterday-” He stops, swallows.

    Hollander makes a face–one of Ilya’s favorite faces, in fact–that says he’s a little embarrassed about what he’s about to say. Ilya feels his chest go a little tighter, wondering if Hollander has had time to reconsider, if he’d even planned to reach out after the game, apologize for spooking and running, ask to come ba-

    “Did something…happen yesterday?” Hollander asks.

    Ilya stares at him.

    (the accident that takes shane out for the season happens the day after the tuna meltdown) (...it also takes his memory of the tuna meltdown with it)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,217
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    441
    Kudos:
    6,841
    Bookmarks:
    1,426
    Hits:
    47,471

    15 May 2026

  14. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    June 2018. Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov are about to execute the first step of their ten-year plan, with Ilya signing with the Ottawa Centaurs when free agency begins on July 1.

    Except Shane accidentally, drunkenly, outs himself to the Montreal Metros at the end of the season. Who are not as okay with it as Shane would have hoped.

    AKA the most eventful Canada Day that the MLH has ever seen.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    34,827
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    1,267
    Kudos:
    13,136
    Bookmarks:
    4,025
    Hits:
    133,882

    12 May 2026

  15. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    It’s not like his mom had been celebrating Ilya having a fucking heart attack. It’s just that if Shane hadn’t been such a coward, he would have told his parents about Ilya sooner, and then maybe none of this would have happened at all.

    After a fluke cardiac event leaves Ilya with an anoxic brain injury, he and Shane attempt to cope with their new normal.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,104
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    156
    Kudos:
    718
    Bookmarks:
    162
    Hits:
    10,755

    08 May 2026

  16. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “You are planning to rob me or what?” He hears Rozanov call, and he can’t help but smile slightly even as he rolls his eyes, closing the door to the linen closet and feeling strangely lighter than when he opened it, reassured that he’s just trying to read into a blank page, that today doesn’t mean anything more than Rozanov doesn’t mind him being around, which is strangely flattering.

    “I don’t know,” he calls back. “Don’t Russians like diamonds and fur and stuff? Where should I start looking if I want to know what my options are?”

    He hears Rozanov laugh, and it makes him smile.

    When he joins him in the living room once more, Rozanov tugs him down to lean against him again. Shane goes easier this time, settling into it, knowing it doesn’t mean anything other than the fact that he just happens to be the closest warm body, the person on Rozanov’s roster who filled today’s slot.

    (the tuna meltdown doesn't happen) (this does not mean they get ANY better at communication)

    (or: how shane didn't realize he had a boyfriend for several months)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,094
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1,201
    Kudos:
    19,617
    Bookmarks:
    5,632
    Hits:
    170,054

    08 May 2026

  17. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Anyway, Shane didn't remember exactly what was in the folder ... But he knew they were all good shots of him.

    He hastily clicked open the folder, his eyes barely glancing through the dozen or so shots there, vaguely registering a picture with a sunset background from his condo balcony, something of him laughing, a picture of him working at his laptop with his glasses on...

    The director called him again, and he shook his head, the photos blurring. Whatever. It would have to do.

    He clicked "select all," then the messages icon, then Rozanov's name. Hit send.

    ----

    Or: When never-hooked-up Shane and Ilya have to collaborate on a league charity project, Shane accidentally sends Ilya a nude.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    47,304
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Comments:
    6,114
    Kudos:
    19,739
    Bookmarks:
    6,167
    Hits:
    292,394

    06 May 2026

  18. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Ilya sits down carefully and takes Shane’s hand. “I am going to ask you something, and I want you to try not to freak out, okay? Take a breath, think about it.”
    That sounds… serious.
    “The Centaurs are having a barbeque,” Ilya says. “I would like to go, and I would like you to come with me.”

    Shane meets the Centaurs. As Ilya's close personal friend slash charity partner from Canada.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,188
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    765
    Kudos:
    20,421
    Bookmarks:
    4,363
    Hits:
    124,280

    03 May 2026

  19. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “-can’t see each other again,” Ilya says, looking only at Shane’s hand, holding it so, so gently and stroking over Shane’s skin so, so softly. The soothing feeling of it makes it very hard to focus, but Shane tries very hard to do it anyway. “I tried-we tried, but this can’t happen again.” It takes a moment, but Shane finally manages to make sense of the words, and he lets out a soft noise of understanding.

    Ah. He’s apologizing that he won’t be able to see Shane in the hospital again before he leaves.

    “I understand,” he says, and he does. It was probably really hard for Ilya to get here even once, and it can’t be very long before his plane leaves. He’s sad, of course–they didn’t even get to spend time together, really–but it’s not like this will be the last chance they ever have to see each other. He gives Ilya his best attempt at a smile, and if it comes out a little sad, too, all Ilya does is reach out to stroke the backs of his fingers gently over his cheek.

    (ilya goes through with his plan to break up with shane in the hospital) (the problem? shane is too high to understand that he's being broken up with)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,369
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    456
    Kudos:
    8,624
    Bookmarks:
    1,796
    Hits:
    53,664

    03 May 2026

  20. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    ...oh,” his mom says. “Oh, honey, you were seeing someone? You never said anything.”

    “It’s-it’s complicated.” He catches the present tense too fucking late to do anything about it, and he barely resists the urge to either groan or slip forward to start beating his head against the coffee table.

    Fuck his fucking life.

    “You’re still…seeing this person?” His mom asks, and the amount of control he can hear her exerting is almost painful. “Who is-”

    “Yuna,” his dad cuts in, voice quiet, “maybe give him a second, yeah?”

    Yeah, Shane agrees in his head. Give him a second.

    Maybe give him a decade while they’re at it.

    (when shane's old fake id falls out of his wallet around his parents, he has to explain that it was to book hotel rooms before he was 21)

    (...and then he has to explain why he needed to book those hotel rooms in the first place)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,781
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    881
    Kudos:
    14,746
    Bookmarks:
    3,195
    Hits:
    86,010

    03 May 2026

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